Sweet Love
by Tr-8r810
Summary: A man who questions if his life has any importance to anyone, and a woman who's trying to move on from her past. What these two broken spirits may need is each other. Rated: T for themes of depression, implied self harm and mild violence. [Onodera Kosaki x OC]
1. The Sweet baker

Sweet Love

by Tr-8r810

 **Disclaimer** : I don't own anything related to Nisekoi. This story is strictly for entertainment purposes and not for profit. Also **Nisekoi spoilers!** This story has spoilers of the ending of Nisekoi. I know the series is still coming out in manga, so not everyone has seen it yet. So here's your spoiler warning.

 **Author's** **Notes** : Hey all, this is TR-8R810. I guess I'm supposed to say something funny about my name right? uhh... TRAITOR! Okay, let's move on.

Nisekoi is a series that has a special place in my heart, for better or for worse. One thing that never changed though was my feelings for Onodera, she was always my favorite character. But I haven't seen a lot of fan work for her. So I'd like to try my hand at making one myself.

For the record, this is my first time really writing a story. I've always loved storytelling, but I never wrote that much. So if I'm not doing it right, let me know. Sorry in advance if it's a little messy.

* **Update** * I've rewritten Chapter 1, due to "X readers" being against the Content Guidelines. (Sorry, I'll try to be more careful in the future) Instead this will be an "X OC." This won't affect the main story, just the perspective.

Special thanks to **thatguywhowrote** for taking the time to be a beta reader for this story.

Alright that's enough from me, I hope you enjoy.

* * *

' _Finally, made it to the mall_.' Alex thought to himself.

His coat was soaking wet from treading through the downpour of rain outside. Even so, there was always something about the cold weather that he liked, preferring to be around it rather than just shutting himself up at home. The cold wind, dark cloudy skies and the wet embrace of the rain against the ground, these were things that he found oddly comforting.

' _ **Maybe it just reminds me of myself?**_ ' He thought. As much as he hated to think about it, there it was again.

About a year ago, Alex started having feelings of dejection and inadequacy about himself, almost out of nowhere. At first he thought he was just down, so he tried waiting it out. But as the weeks went by it didn't get any better, actually it started getting worse. But even worse than that, was that there wasn't any reason for this behavior, nothing traumatic, no big family problems. He just started feeling... depressed.

' _Just thinking about that word makes me sick_.' Alex shook his head. ' _I'm thinking too much again._ ' He started moving forward into the mall. ' _Don't forget why you came here in the first place_.'

There was an old fashion video game store that came to the mall that he had been going to a lot recently. It was a good way to distract himself, and it kept him active.

As he was making his way there, he walked past the mall's bakery. Even though he had passed it many times over the years, he had never really paid that much attention to it, due to never being a big fan of its pastries. He glanced as he walked by but there was something different about their merchandise today. Everything looked amazing! Alex walked in to get a better look.

' _The store is empty, and there aren't any customers or employees... Perhaps they're closing?_ ' He thought to himself. He still wanted to look around, taking note of the usual simple cakes in display were now replaced by marvelous works of art made of icing. It wasn't just those either, cupcakes, cookies, pastries and even some Japanese sweets from the looks of it.

' _I've never seen desserts look so good before in my life. It almost feels wrong that they're meant to be eaten_.' While he was staring at all the different treats, a voice called from the back of the store.

" _Oh, hello. May I help you?_ " A soft voice asked.

Alex looked up to see a young Japanese woman with snow white skin and beautiful chocolate brown eyes. Her dark brown hair was about shoulder-length, with one long strand of hair on the left side of her face.

" _Oh, I'm just looking around, but thank you_." She smiled and nodded at his response. " _There's so many different things to look at, and I'd love to try one but I wouldn't know which to choose_." As he was looking around, the young employee spoke up.

" _Have you been here before by any chance?_ "

" _I've come by time to time in the past_." He said, still trying to take it all in. " _But it's never looked this good before. Everything looks incredible_."

Beyond his notice, the girl started to blush at his comment and smiled a little.

" _O-oh, I just remembered_." The girl said as she pulled out a small tray full of sweets. " _While you're here, would you like a free sample?_ " She offered. The samples were rose-shaped pastries which looked just as good as the other cakes around the store.

" _Thank you_." He graciously accepted her offer.

" _We're actually working to make this a new item on our menu, so any feedback would be helpful_." She said.

" _I see, alright_." Alex replied.

As he was about to take the first bite, the girl nervously awaited with anticipation. When he bit into it, he was surprised by its taste...

...on how horrible it was. Despite its gorgeous appearance, there was something off about the taste. It was like eating plain yogurt; no flavor nor sweetness, just a bland cake with icing. It was something you wouldn't want from a sweets shop, let alone expect. However Alex kept a straight face, knowing that the young lady was waiting for his response. There was a moment of silence before the young baker spoke up.

" _W-well, how is it?_ " He could tell that she was nervous.

' _She did ask for my feedback, so it would be best to be honest with her. Nothing will improve if I tell her "it's great." Still, I could at least be gentle about it_.'

" _Well... The decorations look fantastic. But honestly, it kind of falls flat on flavor. I think it needs to be a lot sweeter before you try selling it_."

The woman sighed. " _I thought so, still no good it seems_." There was clearly disappointment in her voice.

" _H-hey wait. There's no reason to get down about it, you could still improve it_." He said, trying to cheer her up.

" _It's not that simple. I've-_ " she stopped herself.

" _Are you okay? Maybe I could help_." He asked.

She looked to the floor as she responded. " _It's just, I've been trying to perfect this recipe for a week now, and it hasn't gotten any better. It's discouraging because this is a pretty easy recipe to make, and I still can't get it right_."

" _But wait. What about all these other cakes? They look just like the rose sample you gave me. Didn't you make those too?_ " He asked.

" _No, the other bakers made those, I just decorated them. I haven't been able to bake anything right recently_."

Alex stopped for a moment as he realized that she was the one who had been decorating all the sweets he had seen up until this point, making this once boring bakery into the amazing sight it is today.

" _But you could bake before, right? Maybe you've just lost your edge_."

She looked puzzled. " _My edge?_ "

" _Yeah. Tired of work, stuck in a rut, having unwanted memories. Anything could hinder your work mentally. But you can still decorate, right?_ "

" _Yeah?_ " She answered, not sure where he was going with this.

" _So you can still work and be around the bakery. If you're around helping with baking and continue practicing, you'll eventually get back into it_." He scratched the back of his head. " _Well... that may just be me thinking out loud_."

She laughed, much to his surprise. " _Who knows? Maybe you're on to something_." She said as she smiled. Suddenly, a clock alarm went off behind the young baker.

" _Oh! It's already six o'clock_." She noted.

" _Wait, seriously? Already!?_ " It was getting late, and Alex still had to walk back home in the rain. His body moved before his mind did and he jumped up and started running towards the door. " _Sorry, I gotta go!_ "

" _Oh, wait!_ " She tried calling out to him, but it was too late. He was already out of sight.

She sighed, but stopped and thought about what he said.

' _Unwanted memories..._ ' The thought made her feel a tightness in her chest. " _No, he could be right. If I keep practicing and stick with it, I could get back on my feet again_." She said as she placed her hand to her chest. ' _I have to get past this, I'm not giving up yet_.'

Just then another baker came from the back. " _Hey Miss Onodera, could you give me a hand with this?_ " The blonde girl was having trouble with the decorations on her cake.

" _Sure, I'll be right there_." Onodera replied with a hint of sadness in her voice. Before she went to the back, she looked at the entrance again.

' _I didn't even get his name_.' She thought to herself.


	2. Second meeting

Sweet Love

by Tr-8r810

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own anything related to Nisekoi. This story is strictly for entertainment purposes and not for profit. Also **Nisekoi spoilers!** This story has spoilers of the ending of Nisekoi. I know the series is still coming out in manga, so not everyone has seen it yet. So here's your spoiler warning

 **Author's Notes:** First things first, I have to apologize for violating the Content Guidelines. In particular, writing a second person (X reader) story. To fix this, I've rewritten Chapter 1 and will rework the rest of the story from being a "X reader" to a "X OC." This won't affect the main story, just the perspective.

I'm sorry if this creates confusion for the past readers or anyone in the future. I'll try to be more careful. -_-,

Special thanks to **thatguywhowrote** for taking the time to be a beta reader for this story.

* * *

It was almost closing time at the bakery. Taylor and her assistant Onodera had just finished packing in for the day. After everything was done, Taylor was ready to call it a night. Onodera however went straight to the oven and pulled out a hot tray she was still working on.

" _I'm heading out now. You can close up the shop, right Onodera?_ " The blonde baker asked.

" _Sure, I'll take care of it_." She said, not taking her eyes off her work.

" _Okay, see you tomorrow_." The other baker walked away.

' _Boy, whatever happened to her yesterday really has her fired up_.' Taylor thought to herself.

After talking to that one customer, Onodera spent the next day trying even harder to get her recipe right, all with various results. One was too salty, one was far too sweet, and another was burned to a crisp. The apartment she was staying at didn't have an oven, so she wanted one more try to get it right before calling it a day. After letting them cool, she picked one up to taste-test it. She hesitated, worried if it was going to be another failure, and if she wasted the whole day making no progress. She closed her eyes.

' _Please, come out well this time_.' She thought to herself. Not letting her anxieties overwhelm her, she quickly bit into the remade rose pastry.

After tasting it, her eyes shot wide open and her body was completely frozen. She looked down at the dessert she had just made. She only had one reaction, a single tear trailed down her cheek.

-The next day-

" _Thanks for stopping by, have a good one._ " The game shop owner told Alex as he left.

" _Thanks, you too._ " He said, already on his way out.

Alex wasn't able to make it to the game store the other day and he was busy yesterday, so he made a trip to check it out today. They had a good collection of all sorts of games, old or new, common or rare. You name it, they probably had it. Only problem was he wasn't looking for anything in particular, and nothing just grabbed his attention, so he was coming home today empty handed.

Alex looked out one of the windows to see that it was raining again. ' _It was clear when I got here. It must have started while I was window shopping_.' He thought as he was pulling out his phone to look up the weather forecast. It appeared to be a small storm, and should clear up in about an hour. ' _If I push it and try to go through the rain again like the other day, I could get sick. I'll just kill some time and wait it out_.' He thought while putting his phone away.

" _What to do though?_ " He started moving again. The mall had quite the variety of stores to check out that he didn't know where to start. " _I could look for some new clothes. Or get a bite to eat. Or maybe I could go to that bakery shop agai-_ " He immediately stopped and tensed up, with the sudden urge to beat his head against a wall.

' _Argh, darn it!_ ' He mentally screamed in his head. ' _Why would I go back there?! I already made a fool of myself trying to cheer up that girl working there_.' He thought to himself. ' _All that "losing your edge" and "stuff messing with your work" were just me rationalizing, trying to make her feel better..._ '

He thought of the look on her face when he told her the sweets she was working on needed some work. He remembered it pretty clearly...

 _I thought so, still no good it seems._

She looked so upset and avoided eye contact, not because she was mad at him or that she was going to cry or anything like that. But more that she was disappointed in herself but didn't want to show it.

" _I just... I can't stand seeing people hurting like that_."

Ever since Alex began having feelings of depression a year ago, he started pushing himself to be more positive to people around him. He hated feeling depressed, but knowing firsthand how terrible it can make someone feel, he hated seeing others depressed even more so. They may not have had depression like him, but that made their problems a little easier to help with. So whenever someone was feeling down, he did whatever could be done to help. Whether it was making them laugh, or just giving them a listening ear.

 _"I don't want anyone else to feel this way!"_ was what always motivated him to help someone who needed some positivity. ' ** _But how are you supposed to help others if you can't even help yourself_** ** _?'_**

He started getting a headache thinking about it. " _Ugh, I'm bumming myself out again. I need to think about something else_." He said. However Alex wasn't really paying attention to where he was going while he was lost in thought. He found a bench that he could use to take a moment to relax and get his bearings. He sat down and took a deep breath, then he looked around to see if there were any landmarks he recognized. Straight in front of him though, it became clear where he was.

Across his position was the bakery he went to two days ago, with the young baker he met out in front of the store giving out free samples.

To say he was shocked would be an understatement. " _What the- How did I get here?! Of all the places to be, I had to end up here, didn't I? And of all the people to be out right now, why did it have to be her!?_ "

' _I already feel terrible for running out on her last time like an idiot, among the other things I did that day_.' He thought to himself. ' _But maybe it'll be okay, I mean she probably doesn't even remember me. Maybe I could just slip out quickly and-_ '

Before he could even finish, the young baker had turned and saw him. " _Huh? Wait, it's you! From the other day!_ " She said in a shocked tone.

' _Well, crud. Apparently not_.'

She quickly walked up to him. " _It is you, right?_ "

" _Uhh... Y-yeah?_ " He nervously answered.

" _I thought so_." She smiled, which made him feel a little less awkward.

" _Y-you left so fast last time you were here, I wasn't able to thank you properly_." She said looking down, unable to look him in the eye.

Alex was at a loss for words. " _Thank me? For what?_ " He asked.

" _What you said the other day... about not being focused on my work. I've had a lot on my mind lately. Things that I'd rather not think about_." She then fixed her gaze and smiled at him. " _I took those words you said to heart, it really helped me out_."

She lifted up the tray of free samples to his line of sight, he realized that they were the rose samples from the other day.

" _Are those..._ "

" _Yes. After you left, I worked twice as hard to get these right. Then yesterday just before we closed, I finally got it right_."

She offered him one to see for himself. As he tried it, she stood and waited to see his reaction, this time with confidence.

What he ate was quite different from what he had the other day. It had a strawberry flavor and was very sweet, but not to the point that it became overwhelming. The bland cake he tried before was but a distant memory.

" _Wow, this is a lot better. You said you did this in one day?_ "

She nodded. " _I know it's not much, and I still have a way to go before I completely get back to my old self. But it's a start in the right direction_. _That's why I wanted to say... Thank you_."

After hearing the young woman's words, all the stress and anxiety Alex felt about what happened two days ago completely melted away. His actions that day really helped her, more than he ever knew.

" _Well, I didn't really do that much. But I'm glad I was able to help_." He gave a small smile.

Suddenly Alex realized that despite how much they've seen each other, he never got her name. After what she just said, it felt wrong that he only knew her as "the baker girl".

" _I'm sorry, I didn't get your name before. I'm Alex Richards_."

" _Oh, it's Onodera Kosaki. Most people just call me Onodera_."

" _Onodera... I'll be sure to remember_."

" _Hey Onodera!_ " They both heard a voice call from the bakery. Taylor, the other baker was working the counter. She was having her hands full with a bunch of customers.

" _Could I get a hand over here!?_ " She yelled.

" _I'm sorry. She needs more at the back baking. I've gotta help her out_."

Alex nodded. " _Right, you should get going_."

She started walking back to the bakery and he was ready to go on his way, but before he could, she turned around and spoke up.

" _Umm, by the way. Tomorrow we're having a sale on everything at the store. I don't know if you would be interested, but I thought I'd let you know_." She said.

" _Tomorrow, huh? Okay, Thanks for the heads up_."

" _ONODERA!_ " She heard Taylor call again.

" _Right, sorry!_ " She said, running to the bakery.

Alex then went on his way. He felt relieved, knowing that he didn't hurt the bak- Onodera's feelings. Even though he couldn't solve every problem he saw, including his own personal demons, it felt good to know that he helped someone with theirs, even if it was just a little.

-Back at the bakery-

" _Sorry_." Onodera said, running in.

" _Finally. What took ya so long?_ " The blonde baker asked.

" _Remember that guy I told you about? I saw him just now, I wanted to thank him for the other day_." She said.

" _Oh I see. Maybe I should thank him too, for helping you get off your lazy butt and helping me out more_."

" _M-miss Thomas!?_ "

" _I'm only joking_." She smiled. " _It's great that you're starting to feel better_."

" _Yeah..._ "

" _Anyway, I need to head back and get baking. Could you take care of the front for a while?_ "

" _Sure_." Onodera said.

As Taylor was heading back, she noticed that the young woman was more upbeat then she had been before.

' _Here's hoping you REALLY are getting better Onodera..._ ' She thought to herself.


	3. Past to present

Sweet Love

by Tr-8r810

 **Disclaimer** : I don't own anything related to Nisekoi. This story is strictly for entertainment purposes and not for profit. Also **Nisekoi spoilers!** This story has spoilers of the ending of Nisekoi. I know the series is still coming out in manga, so not everyone has seen it yet. So here's your spoiler warning

 **Author's Notes** : Man, this one was fun to make *sarcasm*. So for this chapter I decided to put more focus on Onodera. (Yay!) The reasons were:

1 - Give her more screen time which I'll admit, I haven't been doing the best of so far.

2 - To make a clearer picture of who Onodera is after the main series, and how that has affected her. Which meant I had to look up some of the ending of Nisekoi again. (Not yay!) Which was about as fun as putting my hand over an open fire just to remember how getting burned feels like again.

That, and other reasons was why this one took so long to come out. Another was because this one is much longer then the last two, so I hope it was worth the effort.

Special thanks to **thatguywhowrote** for taking the time to be a beta reader for this story.

* * *

There was an icy chill in the air as Onodera found herself within deep white fog. It was so thick she couldn't see five feet in front of her. Every noise was distant and had a haunting echo.

" _Where am I? This place feels... familiar. But why?_ " She said, confused by her surroundings.

She then heard a familiar voice coming from behind her.

" _I'm sorry, at a time like this..._ "

She turned around, " _Hello, is someone there?_ "

She slowly walked in the voice's direction. As she did, the fog started getting thinner and thinner. She could start to see tall grass under her feet, it was swaying with the wind and looked as calm as the ocean waves on a peaceful day. She kept going until the fog completely let up. She then found herself standing in a large field surrounded by mountains.

" _Wait... I know this place. I came here long ago. This is where I first met Chitoge, Marika, Tsugumi, Miss Yui, and-_ "

" _Ichijou-kun_." The same voice from before called out.

Onodera turned around at hearing "his" name. What she saw though, she wasn't prepared for.

There were two people talking to each other not ten feet away from her. The first person she saw was a younger version of herself. The other person was a young man namely Raku Ichijou.

Raku was a friend of Onodera's back in middle school and high school. She started having feelings of infatuation for Raku over the years, then that developed into a strong crush. She wanted to admit to him her true feelings, but Onodera was always the timid woman, so she needed to motivate herself to summon up the courage to confess. After many years, she finally found the courage to tell him.

" _Ichijou-kun, you're my first love. I like you, and I always have_." The other Onodera said.

Onodera knew what this was, it was a memory from her past. " _This was the moment... I told Ichijou-kun my feelings for him_." She said, placing her hand over her heart. This moment has been on her mind a lot as of recent.

" _How long has it been, almost_ _five_ _years now? Funny, it doesn't feel like it's been that long..._ "

" _But wait, what is this even? How did I get here?_ " She thought, looking around. " _I don't remember coming here. It's almost like it's a drea-_ "

At the moment she realized what was going on, a bright flash of light engulfed the world around her. As it did, she heard one last thing from her past self.

" _But, there's someone else in Ichijou-kun's heart, right...?_ "

There was nothing but silence after that...

Onodera then woke up in her apartment. She gave a small yawn as she pushed off her bed covers. Still waking up, her mind was wrapped around the dream she just had.

" _Why... Why can't I get that image out of my head?_ " She sat up straight.

" _I_ _know_ _it's_ _because_ _it's_ _the_ _time_ _of_ _the_ _year_ _and_ _everything..._ _But_ _that's_ _in_ _the_ _past_ _now,_ _I've_ _moved_ _on_ _from_ _it_."

 _"I mean..."_ She curled her legs up to her chest. _"Haven't I?"_

On that day she was dreaming about, Raku had rejected her. He wasn't harsh or hurtful in any way, he just simply loved someone else. She knew it to be true, but she still had to do it, even if it was just for herself. She had to know she gave it her all. No regrets.

Even so it still hurt to think about it. Especially when it got close to the date when she told him, which was coming up pretty soon. It put her in a depressed state of mind, which affected her mood and work. Last year she finally started getting the hang of baking, something she always had problems with, but when that date started nearing her baking actually got worse than it did before.

This year to avoid that happening again, she arranged to work with an old family friend's business overseas. It seemed like a good way to get a change of scenery and to stay on top of her baking. But it didn't help her as much as she would have liked. She could still bake, but everything she made was about the same quality as they were back in her high school days.

" _Four more days, Kosaki. Just four more days and all this will be behind you_." She told herself.

She rose from her bed. " _I should get ready, today's going to be a busy day_." She thought while moving to get dressed.

* * *

On the far side of town, there was an old music store that was owned by a group of friends. It was really out of sight among all other stores around it that if one weren't looking for it, one would surely miss it. Outside, one of the workers was showing his girlfriend the store.

" _So this is it?_ " The girl ask, looking puzzled.

" _It sure is!_ " The man said with excitement. " _Oh, and don't let its appearance fool you. It may look beat up, but it's the inside that counts."_

As he led her inside, she saw that the store used every inch it had to carry as many CDs as possible. The store itself was quite old with a ranch look, being that most of the shelves were made of wood.

" _Wow, this place is something else. How old was it again?_ " She asked.

" _About 60 years old, I think. That's what they said when they sold it to us_."

" _But how... how did you guys fill up so much space in here? I mean there are CDs as far as the eye can see, yet it's still organized and together. It must have taken you guys forever to get this set up_."

" _Actually, it only took a weekend. Plus this was all Alex's work_." He said.

She paused. " _Alex? Who's that?_ "

" _That's Alex_." He said, pointing behind her.

She was shocked when she turned around to see a man in a dark long sleeved coat standing right behind her, holding an old radio in one hand, and leaning a stack of CDs against his chest in the other.

" _Hey, Jess..._ " Alex said, with not much life in his voice.

" _You okay man? You don't look so good_." Jess asked noticing the dark circles under his friend's eyes.

" _Yeah, I just didn't sleep too good last night is all_." He said, rubbing his eyes on one sleeve.

" _By the way, this is Rose, my girlfriend. I was just showing her around the place_." Jess added.

" _Nice to meet you_." Said Rose.

" _Same here_." Alex said with a smile, but Rose was picking up a strange vibe from Alex.

" _Anyway, Jess, I just got done repairing that old radio. And I went through those CDs to see if any of them still worked_."

" _Wait, already? Alex, I asked you about that yesterday evening, but you didn't have to rush. Plus it's only nine o'clock, how did you finish everything already?_ "

" _I looked into it last night, it's no big deal. The radio should be as good as new, and about seven of the CDs work without any problem. But the other ones are trash, don't even bother trying to get them to work_." There was distaste in his voice as he put them on the counter.

" _Don't you think that's a little harsh? I mean, we could try buffing them out. They could still be useful if we can fix some of them_." Jess pointed out. Alex turned his head the other way.

" _Hmph. Try it if you want, but if all they're gonna do is take up space, then they're no better than garbage_." He said in irritation.

Alex picked up his backpack on the way out. " _That takes care of my work today. I'm going out for a while, call me if anything else comes in_."

" _Okay, see you around then_."

After Alex left Rose turned to Jess. " _Is he ok? He seems a little funny_."

" _Yeah, he's fine. He just... likes to keep to himself. He may seem odd, be he's really a nice guy when you get to know him_." Jess said, supporting his friend.

" _Well I'd better see if I can get these buffed out. Hey, you wanna see our disc buffer? It works great, this one time I had a CD that had so many scratches that it wouldn't even-_ "

Rose smiled as Jess continued to babble on and on about nothing.

* * *

Onodera made her way to the mall, the ground still wet from rain the day before. Her mind was still occupied on the dream she had earlier that day as she walked through the mall, but she tried not to think much about it. She had to focus on her work as it was an important day for the store, its special monthly sale so she couldn't afford to lose her concentration.

" _Just think about something else, like that new decoration style you were wanting to try out, or Ruri-chan. Now that I mentioned it, I haven't talked to her in a while. I should probably check up on her and see how she's doing_." She thought. " _Ruri-chan... she was always there for me back in high school, for the good times and the bad. Heck, it was her idea to come out here in the first place, offering what help she could for my trip overseas_."

" _...I really owe her for all her help over the years, especially for trying to help me with Ichijo-_ "

She then jolted and shook her head. " _No, no, no! You're trying not to think about that, remember?_ "

" _I know, I was wanting to make those rose cakes for the sale today. They're really simple and not that hard to make... well, once you get the hang of it anyway. I'll focus on what I'll need to make them, so when I get there I can jump right into it."_

When she looked up, she realized that she was already at the bakery. But something was wrong, there were quite a lot of people outside crowding the store. Sure the store was well liked and there was a sale, but even so the line shouldn't have been as big as it was. The crowd also seemed confused and was murmuring. She tried to make her way through the mass to get to the counter. As she did, she heard a voice call out to her.

" _Hey Kosaki_ ," A young man cried out. " _Over here!_ " It was Taylor's younger brother who was working the counter.

" _Tim, what's going on? What's with this line, why is it so long?_ " She asked.

" _There's a problem at the back, could you help my sister out? She's probably freaking out, please hurry_."

" _A-alright_." Onodera said, rushing inside. When she walked into the kitchen, she found Taylor angrily kicking the oven.

" _Stupid piece of junk, work!_ " Taylor said, grinding her teeth.

"Ah! Taylor, stop!" Onodera quickly pulled her away from the poor equipment. " _Please, calm down_."

" _Not until I turn that hunk of metal into scrap!_ "

" _Okay well, could you at least tell me why you're trying to break our only oven?_ " Onodera asked, trying to get an idea on what's going on.

Even though she had only been working with Taylor for a short amount of time, Onodera could tell that she had a bit of a short temper. Taylor tried to at least keep her cool around Onodera, not wanting to add to her already increasing anxieties.

" _Argh..._ " She then took a deep breath to gather her thoughts and sighed.

" _The oven isn't heating. I don't know why, it was fine yesterday, but when I got here this morning to open the store it was dead_."

Onodera was shocked " _What?_ "

Taylor laughed. " _Of all the days for it to go out on us, it had to be on our big sale, didn't it? We don't have enough leftovers to last the morning, let alone the whole day. What's my dad gonna say?_ " Her voice started to crack.

" _Taylor..._ "

Just then, Tim ran in. " _Hey, what am I supposed to tell all those people out there? They're getting pretty impatient_."

" _I... t-tell them..._ " Taylor tried, but couldn't find the right words.

Onodera spoke up. " _We tell them the truth, that we're short on merchandise today. Then we try to sell as much as we can, even if it only lasts the morning. We can't just sit here and do nothing, and we can't let those people go home empty-handed after coming all this way this early in the morning_."

Taylor and Tim were both surprised by the seriousness in her voice, something new from the timid girl they've come to know. Onodera herself didn't know what came over her, but she knew someone had to say something amidst the chaos.

" _But then what? After that, we're going to be out of options_." Tim pointed out.

" _Well... then we..._ " Onodera stopped to think. " _Wait, has anyone called a repairman yet?_ "

" _Yeah, I did_." Taylor answered. " _But I haven't been able to get through, the line has been busy all morning. And the longer it takes to call them, the longer it will take for them to fix this. All the while, more people are showing up for stuff we don't even have_."

" _T-then I'll call them again_." Said Onodera. " _And if they're still busy, I'll call somewhere else. I'll walk to the repair company if that's what it takes to get someone to look at it. But we need to get it repaired, even if it's not before the lunch rush, we need to fix this_."

" _Heh, that's what I like about you Onodera. You keep a level head even in the heat of the moment_." Taylor said, now focusing on what had to be done.

" _She's right, we'll do all we can this morning and take on one problem at a time. Tim, we'll take care of the front_."

Tim smiled " _Sure thing sis_."

" _Onodera, I'll leave contacting the repair company to you, see if you can get someone over here as soon as possible_."

" _Alright_."

As she was leaving, Taylor spoke up. " _Hey Onodera... Sorry about earlier. I shouldn't have panicked on the job like that_."

" _Don't worry about it_." Onodera said with a smile. " _Let's just focus on what we have to do_."

" _Right_." The blonde baker responded.

The next hour was pretty hectic for Onodera and the other shop owners. With their limited inventory they were pushing to sell as much as they could. But at the same time they were trying to make it last. Around ten-thirty things had started to settle down, but things were far from good.

" _Well, looks like that was the last one. Things should quiet down for a while_." Said Tim.

Taylor looked down. " _Yeah... but we're almost out of everything. There's no way we'll be able to go on the rest of the day like this. Why would so many people need their sweets this early in the morning anyway?_ " She wondered.

" _I don't know. Maybe they just wanted dessert early. Whatever, the reason isn't important, fixing the oven is_."

" _Yeah... I wonder how Onodera is doing, she's been at the back for a while_."

" _If you want you can go check up on her, I can handle the front by myself for a while_." Tim told her.

" _Okay, thanks_." Taylor then went to the back leaving Tim to take care of the front.

" _Let's hope things take a turn for the better soon_." Tim thought as he pulled out his phone, looking at his messages.

While he was busy, a customer walked in.

* * *

Alex didn't really know what to expect from a bakery sale, but he didn't anticipate what he found when he got there. The store was almost completely empty, a far cry from what he saw the first time he went there.

" _Wow_ _, what happened here? Looks like a twister hit this place_." Tim heard the man say.

" _Ha ha, very funny. We've been busy here all morning I'll have you know_." Tim said with irritation.

Alex had a hard time taking that seriously, looking at the young teen just messing around with his phone.

" _Uhh... sure_." Alex tried laughing it off. " _So what DID happen here? You guys were having a sale right? It went well, I take it?_ "

" _Not exactly. We had a situation at the back and well..._ " He paused and reached for a small basket of sweets to show him. _"Unless we fix the problem, this is all we have for the rest of the day_."

Alex stood there and stared at the basket. He thought, " _There's no way. He's pulling my leg, right?_ " But he could tell he wasn't joking. He was dead serious, it was written all over his face.

" _If you don't mind me asking, what happened?_ "

" _To be frank, that's not really of your concern. It's not like you could help anyway_." Tim muttered.

Alex started feeling very awkward. The situation wasn't exactly what he was expecting, being that the store was barely standing on its own feet. Plus he felt that his presence was unwanted from the irate employee. He wanted to pick something up and thank Onodera for telling him about the sale, but as things were he thought it may be best to see himself out.

As he turned to leave, they both heard a loud crash come from the kitchen.

" _Oh boy, now what?_ " Tim said as he ran to the back.

At this Alex wondered what he should do. It would be easier for everyone if he just disappeared and hoped everything turned out okay. But... he felt like there was something wrong about doing that. The image of the young baker then came to mind.

' _I wonder how Onodera was doing with all these? That couldn't have been her in that crash, could she? Could there be something I could do to help?'_ As his mind was racing, he knew that he couldn't just leave. He wanted to KNOW that everything was alright instead of merely hoping for it to be.

" _Oh man... what am I doing?_ " Not thinking about it anymore, he followed Tim into the kitchen.


	4. Stroke of luck

Sweet Love

by Tr-8r810

 **Disclaimer** : I don't own anything related to Nisekoi. This story is strictly for entertainment purposes and not for profit. Also **Nisekoi spoilers!** This story has spoilers of the ending of Nisekoi. I know the series is still coming out in manga, so not everyone has seen it yet. So here's your spoiler warning.

 **Author's Notes** : (Some of this is spoilers for the chapter, so if you want you can read this later.) This chapter is mostly the other half of Chapter 3, do to Chapter 3 being long enough already. This chapter also shows more of Alex and Onodera warming up to each other. However Alex is still hesitant about getting close to other people. And Onodera shows more of her maturity on dealing with her feelings.

 **Side note** : From this point onward, the description of the story may change a little, mostly in the rating. As the storyline continues some details may need to be added. I don't have any intention on changing the T rating though. Just as a heads up.

Special thanks to **thatguywhowrote** for taking the time to be a beta reader for this story.

* * *

Alex walked into the kitchen hoping to find out what that crash sound was. He found out pretty quickly as a plate smashed against the wall next to him, almost hitting him in the process. No one seemed to have noticed him as they were focusing on the blonde baker.

" _I'm sorry, they said that was the earliest time they could get here_." Onodera said nervously, trying to calm Taylor down.

" _But six o'clock?! We can't wait that long! You told them that this was urgent, right?!_ " Said Taylor, just about ready to blow a gasket.

" _Calm down sis, we'll think of something. Breaking everything isn't going to do us any good_." Tim was getting tired of her violent behavior.

" _Oh, shut up! Why do you care anyway, this is just a part time job for you. You'd probably like it if you didn't have to come here anymore, wouldn't you?!_ "

Tim sighed. " _Look, we'll just close for the rest of the day and try to make up for it tomorrow_."

" _Who's says it'll be fixed by tomorrow? For all we know, we might need to get a new one! You think we can just "make up for it tomorrow" if that happens!?_ " Taylor was losing her temper.

The two continued to argue amongst each other. Meanwhile Alex, still unnoticed by the employees, felt more confused than he did coming in, he was still in the dark about what was going on. But he noted that Onodera had started picking up pieces of the broken plates scattered about the room. She then turned to his direction as one broke next to him, much to her shock to see Alex standing there.

" _E-eh?! A-Alex!? W-w-what are you doing here?_ " Said Onodera.

" _I heard a crash coming from the back of the store and thought I'd see if everything was okay. Next thing I knew, a plate was flying by my face_."

Onodera placed her hand on her head and sighed. " _I'm sorry, Taylor was upset and-_ "

" _It's fine, you don't need to explain it to me." Alex interrupted. "We all have off days, don't worry about it_."

Onodera was surprised by Alex's reaction. He was taking almost getting assaulted rather well.

" _Either way, I'm glad you didn't get hurt. But what were you doing around here anyway?_ " She asked.

He cocked his head. " _Well... It would be rude to turn down an invitation, wouldn't it? Especially since I haven't bought anything here yet. I can't keep coming here just to take up your time_."

Onodera blushed a little. ' _Did he mean... he came back because of me?_ ' She thought.

" _But you guys looked like you're having some problems. I asked the guy out front, but he didn't seem to be in the best mood. I was just wondering what's wrong_." He asked.

" _Well..._ " She wondered if she should tell him, after all she didn't really know him that well. But on the other hand, it wasn't like there was any harm in telling him. " _We're having some problems with our oven, it suddenly stopped working this morning. We've been busy trying to make the most out of today as we could, but we're running out of options. The repairman said they could be here by six o'clock, so we'll probably have to close the store for the rest of the day_."

" _Jeez, really? That's rough_." Alex placed a hand on his hip while thinking.

" _You wouldn't happen to know anyone who could maybe come here sooner, would you?_ "

Alex made a sour face. " _Yeah I do... but he's out of town right now. If he wasn't, I'd call him in a heartbeat_."

" _...I see. Sorry, that was silly of me_."

There was an awkward pause with the both of them unsure on what to say. Alex then tried breaking the silence.

" _While I'm here, I might as well help you pick up some of these broken glass_." He bent down and started carefully picking up the shards.

" _Y-you don't need to do that, I can handle it by myself_."

" _It's no problem. Besides, this needs to be cleaned up before someone hurts themselves, right?_ "

At this Onodera smiled a little. " _I guess you're right_."

The two then started collecting the glass scattered about the room. As they did, Alex found one in front of an oven. He then stared at it with a confused look on his face.

" _Is everything okay?_ " Onodera asked.

" _I take it this is your busted oven?_ "

" _Oh, yeah. It's a little old, but it works great. Apparently it's been in this store for a long time... or so I've been told_."

Alex took a closer look. " _You wouldn't happen to know its model year, would you?_ "

" _No, not exactly, Taylor might though. Why? What are you thinking?_ "

" _It's just that... for some reason this looks familiar. Do you mind if I take a look?_ " Alex asked.

" _Uhh, sure I guess. Just please try not to do anything that might make it worse_."

Alex opened the oven's door and looked inside. It looked fine for the most part. It was a little older like Onodera said, but there were no major problems.

" _So what are you looking for anyway?_ "

" _I'm not sure yet, I'll let you know if I find it_."

Just then across the room Taylor called out. " _Hey Onodera!_ "

" _Taylor, are things okay with you and Tim?_ " Onodera asked as Taylor was walking over.

" _Yeah. It's just been a long day. Sometimes we push each other's buttons, but we're cool. By the way... who's that?_ " Taylor asked, noticing someone was fiddling with their oven.

" _Oh, right_." She moved closer to Taylor and whispered " _Remember that guy from yesterday? When I was talking to him, I told him about the sale so he came over to see how it looked_."

" _Ahh... I see_." Taylor said with a smirk on her face. " _Trying to get the guy's attention by inviting them to our store? You sly devil_."

" _W-w-w-what!? H-how could you even think that?!_ " Onodera's face started becoming a bright shade of red.

Taylor was only joking. She had a bit of a habit of teasing Onodera on such subjects. Onodera was so serious about the topic that she just wanted to loosen her up a little, with various results.

" _I would never do something like that just to-_ "

Onodera was cut off by a loud sound from the oven, to which they both turned towards.

" _Ha! I knew it!_ " Said Alex as he pulled his head out of the oven.

" _What the heck was that?!_ " Taylor said angrily. " _You better not have broken it any more!_ "

" _This oven was made in 2010, wasn't it?_ " Alex asked while wiping some grime off his hands.

" _What? Yeah, I guess that sounds about right. But what does that have to do with-_ "

" _Because my dad's a mechanic. And back in 2010, there was a brand of oven models that had a defect when a part would disconnect, causing the oven to stop working. My dad and I fixed those so many times we had basically memorized how to do it_." Alex said with a laugh.

" _Wait, you're a mechanic!?_ " Onodera asked with a shocked look on her face.

" _Not exactly. My dad taught me a lot, but if this was any other model, I wouldn't be much help_."

Taylor grabbed Alex by the shoulder. " _Hold up. Are you saying you fixed it?!_ "

" _Umm... yeah_." He then turned the oven on, " _It wasn't a perfect fix so it may disconnect again, but in the meantime it should be fine_."

Taylor let out a sigh of relief. " _You don't know how much this helps us. Tim, we're back in business! Get ready, we're gonna be kicking things into overdrive. You too, Onodera_." Taylor said preparing herself for a long baking session.

" _I take it she's always like that?_ " Alex asked.

" _Only when she's focused on something_." Onodera responded.

" _So you guys are going to be pretty busy with your oven working again?_ "

" _Yeah, we have a lot of ground to cover from this morning_."

" _Then maybe it would be best if I leave you guys to focus on your work. Unless there's anything else I can do?_ "

Taylor poked her head in between the two of them. " _Hey, are you serious? Because we could really use some extra help_."

" _Taylor, we can't ask him to do that. He's done enough already_."

" _Hold on Onodera_." Alex said, turning his attention to the blonde baker. " _Umm, Taylor was it? Are you sure you want my help? I'm not the greatest cook in the world, so I don't know how much help I would be_."

" _That's fine, I wouldn't have you making anything anyway. The problem is we're going to be moving around. A lot. Between making the batter, moving them into the oven, pulling them out and taking the finished product to the front. It's a lot for only three people. But if we had some extra help, it would be great. Then Onodera and I could focus on our work. So please, could you help us?_ "

Alex thought for a moment. He looked at Onodera for a second, then back to Taylor. " _Alright sure, what do you need?_ "

Taylor smiled. " _Great. First we need a new bag of flour. There's one over here, give me a hand with this, umm..._ "

" _Alex_."

' _How did all this happen?_ ' Onodera thought to herself, trying to take in all that had just transpired.

" _Hey come on Onodera, we're waiting on you!_ " Taylor called out.

" _Right, I'm coming_."

Soon after that, everyone was in high gear. Taylor and Onodera were baking like there was no tomorrow, Tim on the other hand was selling in the front. Alex meanwhile was in the middle, he helped the girls at the back preparing and moving their work to the front. He also helped Tim with the customers. It was a hard day, but in the end they managed to sell almost everything they were making, easily making up for the morning. Despite not being an employee, Alex stayed and helped for the whole day, at least until...

" _Closing time_." As the sun started to set, Onodera flipped the sign to "closed" in the front of the bakery.

She and Alex were packing up in the front, while the siblings were cleaning the back.

" _What a long day_." Onodera sighed. " _I'm sorry you had to work here so late_."

Alex waved his hand dismissively. " _It's fine, I wouldn't have stayed this long if I didn't want to_."

" _But you still spent most of the afternoon helping us, and you even fixed our oven. I don't know how we could ever repay you_." Onodera said, her voice softer than usual.

Alex blushed a little. " _W-well... you could let me sneak out a cupcake and we could call it even_."

Onodera laughed. " _By all means, here_." She handed him one.

Alex looked at the cupcake and thought to himself for a moment. " _Hey, if you don't mind me asking, how are you doing with the whole cooking thing?_ "

Onodera started cleaning off one of the shelves, her back facing Alex. " _I'm getting by, but my work hasn't been its best, even today. I guess I'm still not quite myself yet_."

" _Sorry to hear that. I hope everything turns out okay_."

" _Thanks. I hope to get back to my old self. Hopefully I'll be better by next week_."

" _Next week?_ "

Onodera turned. " _Oh, u-umm... I mean..._ " Onodera started acting flustered, realizing she may have said too much.

" _It's okay if you don't want to talk about it. I'm not going to push you for it or anything_." Alex reassured her.

" _No, actually I don't mind_." Alex was still a bit of a stranger to her, but after everything he did that day, she could hardly say he wasn't an honest person. Plus for some reason she kind of felt like talking about it.

" _I told you there's been a lot on my mind lately, right? The truth is I've been depressed lately_."

Hearing this hit Alex like a bolt of lightning. He hated hearing that word even in his own head, but someone else saying it really put him on edge. He tried not to show it by staying focused on Onodera's matter at hand.

" _You see, there was this boy I liked in high school, REALLY liked. I wanted to tell him my feelings but every time I tried to, I would lose my nerve for one reason or another_." She fiddled around with her hair out of embarrassment. " _Eventually I did find the courage to tell him, but..._ " She paused for a second. " _It wasn't meant to be. This time of year reminds me of those memories, that's why I've "lost my edge", as you would put it_." She gave off a weak laugh.

There was an awkward silence. Alex was slightly relieved that Onodera was just down instead of having depression, like he had originally feared. On the other hand she sounded like she was going through a hard time.

" _I don't really know what to say, 'sorry' feels kind of redundant..._ "

" _You don't need to say anything. I didn't tell you for the sake of pity, I did because you seem to care_."

" _What do you-_ "

" _Earlier when Taylor asked for your help, you turned to me. That's why you stayed isn't it? Because you were worried about me_."

" _I-I... umm, t-that's not..._ " Alex was at a loss for words.

Onodera smiled before she continued. " _You know, there was something really important I learned from my high school days. You should always tell people how you feel about them without delay. If I had told Ichijou... That boy I was talking about how I felt from the beginning, things may have turned out differently. That's why I promised myself If I ever feel that way about someone again, I wouldn't hesitate to tell them how I felt. You never know what life will bring, so I want to tell people how I feel while I still can_."

Alex knew what Onodera was getting at, she was wanting him to be honest with her.

" _I just... I didn't know how much you guys could handle with just the three of you, especially with this thing you're going through. I thought an extra pair of hands could help a little. That's all_."

" _You've been more help than just an extra pair of hands, what with fixing the oven and everything. We really owe you one._ " Onodera smiled.

" _..._ " Alex on the other hand remained silent.

She then picked up a tray of leftovers and started heading for the kitchen. " _Well, I thought you were more helpful then someone who didn't care would be_."

As she was heading back, Alex spoke up. " _Do you need a hand with that?_ "

" _Oh no, I'm good. We're pretty much done for today_." She said as she went out of sight.

With Onodera out of earshot, Alex got up. " _Good, then if you guys don't need me, I'll see myself out_." He said to himself as he placed the cupcake back on the counter.

In truth, Alex didn't really want any appreciation or thanks, which he knew was coming up. All he wanted was to help Onodera and the others out and move on. It was the same with Jess and the old radio earlier that day. He found himself in general... quite useless compared to everyone else.

" ** _If your usefulness is at its end, you might as well stop taking up space and leave_**." That was the kind of stuff that went through his head. And he thought he would do just that.

' _You're more than just an extra pair of hands she says. You have no idea how wrong you are_.' Alex thought to himself as he tightly gripped his right arm.

* * *

Taylor and Tim were both cleaning the dishes when Onodera walked into the kitchen.

" _I finished closing up the store_." Onodera told them as she came in.

" _Finally, today went on forever!_ " Tim groaned.

Taylor signed " _Good. I really want to thank you two. Today could have been a disaster, but we managed to come out on top. I couldn't have done it without your help_."

" _Don't be so modest sis, you worked just as hard as we did_."

" _Well either way, I was thinking of taking you guys out to dinner, just as a way to say thank you. My treat_."

" _That actually sounds pretty..._ " Onodera's foot bumped into a backpack. " _Huh? Whose backpack is this?_ "

" _Wasn't that Alex's? I think he had it when he came in_." Tim said.

" _Hey, Onodera. How about you see if Alex would want to come with us. He's been a big help today, it's the least we could do_."

" _Sure thing_." Said Onodera.

" _So what do you think we should get Timothy? Chinese, Italian..._ " Their voices faded as Onodera walked back into the front.

" _Excuse me, Alex. I found this backpack at the back and I was wondering if it was..._ "

When she looked around, Alex was nowhere to be seen.

" _Huh? Alex?_ " She started looking around the bakery. She noticed the cupcake was back on the counter, but she couldn't find him anywhere.

" _Alex...?_ " Onodera said with a soft voice, slightly echoing as she stood alone in the room.


	5. A cause for fear

Sweet Love

by Tr-8r810

 **Disclaimer** : I don't own anything related to Nisekoi. This story is strictly for entertainment purposes and not for profit.

 **Nisekoi spoilers!** This story has spoilers of the ending of Nisekoi.

 **Depression** is a sensitive subject to some people. I by no means want to make light of this touchy subject. Even more, I wouldn't want to trigger anyone into a depression episode. Please read with care.

Special thanks to **thatguywhowrote** for taking the time to be a beta reader for this story.

* * *

It was late at night at Onodera's apartment. She was sitting on her bed still drying her hair after taking a shower. She looked at her nightstand where her cell phone was sitting. Putting her towel down, she reached out and grabbed her phone. She held it in her hand, deep in thought about what she should do. She took a deep breath, then sent out a text.

 **Kosaki** : Hello Ruri-chan. How have you been?

Onodera waited for a response. To her surprise, she received one just a few minutes after hers.

 **Ruri** : Kosaki, nice to hear from you again. I'm doing well. How about you?

Onodera was glad to hear her friend was fine. She didn't take her time to respond back.

 **Kosaki** : I'm holding up. I was actually wondering if we could talk when you have some free time.

She waited for her to text back.

 **Ruri** : Could you wait about ten minutes? I can talk more then.

 **Kosaki** : Sure. Just call me whenever you're free.

Onodera waited impatiently for Ruri to call. As the minutes went by, her phone suddenly rang. She quickly picked it up.

" _Hello, Kosaki?_ " Onodera heard her friend's monotone voice come from the other end.

" _Hi Ruri-chan. It feels like it's been a long time since we last talked_."

" _Hmm, yeah it has been a while. But we've both been busy recently, with my translating and you working overseas, It's not as easy for us to talk as it used to be_."

" _I guess so... By the way, how is Maiko-kun?_ "

" _He's doing good, still working hard teaching. I've been needing to discuss some things about the wedding with him though. Which reminds me, you got my invitation right?_ "

" _Of course. I've gotten my plans ready for the trip back and everything. I wouldn't miss it for the world_." Onodera said in excitement.

" _That's good to hear. But in all seriousness, I can tell you didn't call for idle chit-chat_." Ruri's voice suddenly became more focused and serious. " _Especially on today of all days_."

Onodera sighed. " _Am I that transparent?_ "

" _Yes, you are. I just tend to notice faster because I know you. So come on, how are you REALLY doing?_ "

Onodera brought Ruri up to speed on what had been happening with her during the last couple of weeks.

" _Hmm... so it happened again, did it? I guess going overseas didn't help as much as I thought. But you're starting to get back into your cooking right? So I guess it wasn't a complete waste_."

" _Yeah, I was thinking that too. Again, it wasn't as bad as last year, so I still think it was a good idea for me to come here_."

" _By the way, I was wondering about that guy you mentioned. Who is he exactly? He seems to be a recurring character in your story. But... I mean, do you even know him that well?_ "

Onodera took a deep breath. " _Well, that was actually the other reason I called... I need some advice, but I don't know who else to ask_." Ruri noticed that Kosaki's usual calm and timid voice changed to one full of concern and anxiety.

" _Uh, sure. Ask away_."

" _It's just... Alex is a really nice guy. He helped me and the store out on multiple occasions. He acts like a loner, but he's quite kind. But then-_ "

" _Hold on Onodera. If you're asking me for love advice again, I can't help you. I told you everything you would need to know in order to confess your feelings to someone years ago, multiple times. So I'm not going to get involved again if neither of you are willing to take the first step_." Ruri said in an irritated tone.

" _What? No! That's not what I'm talking about at all. I'm saying he's someone I would want to call a friend. But the truth is... I'm terrified. I don't think I've ever been this scared in my life_." Onodera said as her voice started to crack. " _I-I promised him I wouldn't tell anyone about this, but I need your help Ruri_."

Ruri herself started feeling tense as she slowly started to responded back. " _Kosaki, what did he do? Are you okay? If he did or said anything to make you feel threatened, you shouldn't hesitate to call the authorities_."

" _That's the thing though, I'm not scared of him. I'm scared for him. He said I didn't need to worry about him, that he was getting better. B-but..._ "

" _What do you mean?_ "

" _..._ "

" _It's okay Kosaki, I'm right here. But you need to talk to me. What happened?_ "

" _..._ "

" _Please Kosaki, tell me_."

* * *

-Earlier that day-

It was getting close to noon at the bakery. Taylor walked to the counter to see how everything was fairing. At that moment, Tim walked in with a skateboard in hand.

" _You know the rules Tim. No skateboards in the store_." Taylor said with annoyance.

" _Good to see you too sis_." He said before making a jump to sit on the counter.

" _What are you doing here anyway? You don't have work today, remember?_ "

" _I know. I was just wondering what you're doing for lunch. I was thinking maybe I could tag along_."

" _Sorry Tim, I have plans with Onodera today_."

" _Oh right. Today's that date thing... when Kosaki got royally dumped or something right? You two gonna talk about your 'amazing' romance history or something?_ "

" _S-SHUT UP!_ " Taylor then pushed Tim off the counter.

" _Whoa!_ " Caught off-guard, he landed face down against the ground.

" _I swear, between you and Alex, I'm starting to think the entire male population of the human race has no sensitivity whatsoever to a woman's feelings_." Taylor said with her arms crossed.

" _Ow... Are you still on about that? You hardly knew him. I'm honestly surprised he stayed as long as he did, considering how much you made him work_." Tim said getting back on his feet.

" _That's no excuse. Just taking off like that without a word is just rude. Plus he left his stupid backpack here. I said we should just throw it away, but Onodera insisted we hold on to it in case he comes looking for it. Seriously, that girl has enough to worry about, not including that stupid jerk!_ "

" _You know he's been by the store multiple times right? There's a good chance he could hear you if he walks by_."

" _Well I sure hope he does!_ "

Before things heated up anymore, a clock started to go off.

" _Noon, huh? Guess you girls will be heading off to lunch then. See ya_." Tim said as he turned to leave.

" _Where are you going?_ "

" _Just hanging out with some friends_."

" _Do me a favor and stay out of trouble, will ya?_ "

" _No promises_."

When he left, Taylor went back to the kitchen to find Onodera. She was just finishing up cleaning her work space. Although her work was doing well today, Taylor could tell Onodera's mood was way off from her usual self. She hadn't seen her smile or laugh for a while, she was totally lost in thought. She was like that the whole day.

" _Hey Onodera, want to go get lunch now?_ "

" _Sure..._ " She responded with little emotion.

The two left heading for the mall's food court. Neither of them said a word as they were walking though, which was unusual for the two of them. Onodera knew that Taylor was trying to cheer her up, but she felt like there was a spotlight on her, which she couldn't stand. Taylor on the other hand was thinking of something to say to end the awkward silence.

" _So what were you thinking of getting Onodera?_ "

" _I'm not sure yet. I was thinking about seeing what they had and just picking something up_."

" _That's actually not a bad idea. With so many things to choose from, it wouldn't hurt to-_ "

Not paying attention to where she was going, she accidentally walked into someone.

" _Oof! Oh, sorry about that_."

She accidentally bumped into a man who seemed to be in his early thirties.

" _Huh? No problem. Say, you wouldn't happen to work at that bakery here, would you?_ "

" _Yeah, we are. The apron was a give-away, wasn't it?_ "

" _A little. I own this old video game store that just came to the mall not too long ago. But I'm still trying to remember where all the other shops are located_."

" _Oh, that's your store? I think I remember hearing about a store like that coming to the mall recently_." Taylor said.

Onodera didn't have the heart to tell him that Taylor once spent a whole afternoon trashing the very idea of a game store taking up space in the mall.

" _Anyway I gotta go. My store is that way, it's a little before the food court. Just in case you're interested_." The man said.

After he left, Taylor let out an angry groan. " _What a waste. We could have gotten a new book store or a clothes store. But instead we just get one for electronic games_."

As they continued to walk, Onodera noticed the store in question. " _This must be the store he was talking about_." She pointed out.

" _Who cares? The farther I am from here, the better_." Taylor continued walking on ahead. " _What kind of loser would go to a shop like that anyway?_ "

Onodera was about ready to follow her when she recognized someone in the store.

" _Wait, isn't that Alex over there?_ " She noticed him from a ways away.

Taylor rushed back towards Onodera. " _What?! Where is he? I have a bone to pick with him!_ "

" _Wait Taylor, please don't make a scene-_ "

" _There he is!_ " Ignoring Onodera, Taylor walked in to confront him.

Alex was browsing through a stack of games when he heard a familiar voice call out from behind him.

" _Alex!_ " He turned to see an angry Taylor stomping up to him.

' _Crud..._ ' He thought.

" _Where do you think you're going?! Disappearing without a word the other day, what's wrong with you!?_ "

" _Ah, Taylor. Nice to see you remember me_."

" _Shut up, I want an answer. Where did you go the other day?_ "

" _Home_." Alex answered bluntly.

" _Huh?_ "

" _I went home. Onodera mentioned that you guys were pretty much done for the night, so I just saw myself out_."

" _That's it?! Do you have any idea how worried we were? You vanished so suddenly we didn't know what to think. Especially Onodera_."

" _Please. I think she has better things to worry about than if I said a proper goodbye or not_."

" _So she told you her story, huh? Then let me put it this way. I'm Onodera's superior, which makes her and everyone else my responsibility. Which means I have to care for them, which makes her problems my problem. And right now, that would be you_."

" _Typical. I try to avoid one problem, and I make a hundred_." He muttered under his breath.

" _What was that!?_ "

" _Nothing, nothing... Okay I get your point, I screwed up. So how would you have me fix this?_ "

" _Hmm..._ " She hummed, pondering.

Outside, Onodera waited impatiently for Taylor, hoping she wasn't making a ruckus when suddenly she saw Taylor and Alex coming out.

" _Hey, sorry for making you wait_." Taylor said with a huge smile on her face.

" _He-hey, is everything alright? You two sounded like you were pretty upset_." Onodera nervously asked.

" _No, no. We're fine. Alex was just telling me about what happened the other day. That he had to rush home and forgot to tell us_."

" _Oh, that's what happened the other day?_ "

" _Yeah, sorry about that. Kind of silly of me_." Alex said in a joking manner.

" _Yeah, silly Alex_." Taylor added, to which he glared at her. " _Anyway, Alex here feels really bad about what happened, so he's offered to take us out to lunch_."

" _Really? That's nice of you Alex, but you don't need to go that far_."

" _No, please let me. If I don't, my 'conscience' will probably yell at me again_."

Onodera was puzzled by Alex's comment, Taylor on the other hand jabbed Alex with her elbow.

They continued on their way until they made it to the food court.

" _Well, here we are. What do you feel like having? I was thinking of having Mexican_." Taylor said.

" _There's so many to choose from though_." Onodera thought out loud.

Alex turned towards her. " _Well there's no rush, you could just look around a little bit if you want_."

" _Yeah, I think I'll do that_." Onodera started looking through the different food outlets. Taylor was about ready to follow her, but Alex pulled on her sleeve.

" _Is this really necessary?_ " Alex whispered.

" _Look, I just need your help for this afternoon to help Onodera get her mind off of today. It may even help her feel a little better, just think of it like that. Plus I'll get off your back about the other day. It's a win-win for everyone_."

" _Fine, fine, I'll go along with it. Just don't do anything too crazy, alright?_ "

" _Perish the thought_." She then turned her attention to the cashier. " _So... what's your most expensive thing on the menu? Whatever it is I'll take it_." Alex rubbed his eyes out of irritation.

After he purchased their food, they went to one of the tables in the middle of the food court. Taylor had a rather extravagant looking burrito, while Onodera got a simple sandwich meal. Alex however got a pack of fries and a drink.

" _I don't get you. I mean, that's your lunch? I can't tell if you're on some weird diet or if you're just a cheapskate_."

" _Taylor, that's not very nice_." Chided Onodera.

" _Actually it's neither, I'm just a light eater. I used to hate eating out with my folks like this. I was never able to finish whatever I ordered, even if it was the smallest thing on the menu_." Said Alex.

" _That reminds me, you said your dad was a mechanic, right? So are you like apprentice or something?_ " Taylor asked.

" _Well not exactly. There's this music store across town that some of my..._ " He paused for a second, " _friends own, and I help them around the shop from time to time. Like organizing and repair work. I don't see myself taking over my dad's business or anything, I doubt I could get used to all the traveling he does_."

Onodera laughed a little. " _That reminds me of my dad. He's a pretty busy man, in and out a lot. It's kind of hard to find him at home sometimes_."

" _It was actually thanks to mine and Onodera's dads that we're here in the first place_." Taylor pointed out.

" _What do you mean?_ " Alex asked.

Onodera spoke up. " _When I talked to my parents about working overseas, my dad suggested that I work with Taylor's family business. Our dads used to be old friends. Even though the idea was kind of scary for my whole family, it helped my parents to know I was with someone they knew_."

" _So was it your father who taught you how to bake then?_ "

" _Actually I worked more with my mother when it came to baking_."

" _Oh, that's still pretty cool to work with a parent though_." Alex added.

" _Uh-huh_." Onodera replied before taking a sip from her drink.

" _What about your mom Alex? What's she like?_ " Taylor asked.

Alex didn't respond right away. " _I... don't really wanna go there_." He said with a cold voice.

" _Sorry, I didn't mean to-_ " Taylor's phone then went off as she was talking. " _Just a moment_." She answered her phone. " _What is it Tim? What? I can barely hear you. I'm sorry, I'll just be a minute_." Taylor ran off to take care of her call.

Onodera thought Taylor's question may have bothered Alex, so she spoke up.

" _I'm sorry if she brought up something sensitive. I'm sure she didn't mean to_."

" _Huh? Oh, it's not like that_." Alex said while waving his hand.

Onodera gave him a puzzled look. " _Then what was..._ "

" _It's just that, my mother doesn't have the best health in the world. She's not chronically ill, but things bother her more than it would to other people, like stress or colds_."

" _Oh, I see..._ "

" _But that didn't answer your question, did it? To be honest, I just didn't feel like talking to her about it right now. I've seen arguments about my mother's condition before, about whether it's real or not. Usually they're not pretty_."

" _Wait, why are you tell me then?_ "

" _...Honestly, you're more down to earth. We've only ran into each other a few times, but I can tell you're a really mild and gentle person. Not the kind who'd go after someone's own mother_."

Onodera blushed. " _That's very kind of you to say_."

The two continued eating their lunch together, enjoying each other's company. A few minutes later Taylor came back.

" _Hey guys. Sorry but I gotta go, something's come up_." Taylor said in a rush.

" _Is everything okay?_ " Onodera asked.

" _Apparently Tim hurt his arm in a skateboarding accident, he's at the hospital right now. It doesn't sound too serious so don't worry. But I'm still going there, so can you take care of the store for me Onodera?_ "

" _Y-yeah, sure_."

" _Thanks Onodera. Alex, thanks for lunch. See you later_." She quickly wrapped her burrito and placed it in her purse and left.

Onodera let out a deep sigh. " _I hope he's okay..._ "

" _Yeah, me too_." Alex added.

" _It's kind of scary isn't it? How something like that can happen to someone that fast_."

" _I guess it helps to be flexible. To take things as they come and try to move along with the changes_."

" _But sometimes it can't be that easy, can it?_ "

" _I never said it would be. I just meant in theory it could help_."

Onodera looked at the time on her phone. " _I should be getting back to the store soon_."

" _If you want I could walk you there. I was going to be heading in that direction anyway_."

" _Oh, s-sure. If you don't mind_."

As they were heading back to the bakery, Onodera was thinking about what Alex said.

' _"Flexible..." Is that why I haven't been able to move on? Have I been holding on to my past for too long? It has been five years, maybe I just need to let it all go..._ ' She thought.

Alex noticed that Onodera seemed to be lost in thought. " _Are you worried about Taylor's brother?_ "

" _Huh?_ "

" _You seem distracted, I was just wondering if that was it_."

Onodera suddenly stopped. Alex turned and stopped as well.

" _Alex, what you said earlier about being flexible... Do you think it would be easier to move along if you were to let go of your past?_ "

Alex was surprised by Onodera's question but he knew where it was coming from, she was referring to the boy she liked. Alex knew that this was his chance to encourage her about today. He could tell her it would be best to forget her past and just move on... But in his heart he knew that wasn't the truth. He couldn't lie to her, not about this.

" _Not exactly. No matter how hard life is, you should never completely forget the past_." Onodera noticed that Alex's voice, although more serious, was a lot softer than his usual self. " _Your past helped to shape you into the person you are today. Without it, you deny everything you are. No one can change their past, but the future is where we can change ourselves into the person we want to be_."

The two stood in silence for a moment before Alex continued.

Alex looked away. " _...I don't know. Maybe I'm not the best person to ask about stuff like this._ "

" _Even so, I see your point_."

" _I honestly don't know the whole story about this guy you liked, but the best advice I could give is to look ahead and stay positive. You never know what's just around the corner, life can change pretty fast_."

" _Thank you for your kind words_." Onodera said with a bright smile.

" _Anyway, you gotta get back to the bakery right?_ "

" _Yeah_."

Back in front of the store again, Alex spoke up. " _I think I've been here more this past week then the whole time this shop has been opened. By the way, is there anyone else here?_ "

" _Yes. The other day it was just the three of us working, but there's more people today helping out_."

" _Okay, good. I would have felt bad leaving if no one else was here_."

" _Well, thanks for taking me and Taylor out to lunch today. It was nice_."

" _You're welcome. I guess I'll see you around_." Alex started walking on his way.

Onodera walked in the store with one of the assistant bakers behind the counter.

" _Hey miss Onodera, where's Taylor?_ " He asked.

" _Some family matters came up, so she won't be here for the rest of the day_."

" _Okay. I was wanting to ask her this... But seeing as she's not here, do you know what's up with that backpack in the kitchen? No one seems to know who it belongs to_."

" _Oh right, Alex's backpack!_ " Onodera quickly ran into the kitchen, grabbed the backpack and headed back out front. " _Thanks for reminding me. I'll be right back, I've got to return this_."

When she went out of the store she saw Alex heading up an escalator in the distance. She started following him, when she reached the top of the escalator she saw him turn a corner a ways off and almost lost him for a minute. Eventually he went through an exit that she had never noticed before. Behind the glass door was what looked like an old parking structure which was overgrown with ivy. It was about three stories tall, but was rather small. The top floor could barely hold eight cars. The parking lot looked deserted, minus an old beaten up car that was probably abandoned years ago.

Across the way she saw Alex walking toward a staircase. Backpack in hand she opened the door, to which Alex turned his head to see who was there. He didn't however pay attention to where his foot was placed and missed the first step, losing his balance and tripping down the staircase without even seeing who was behind him.

" _Alex!_ " Onodera cried before rushing over to him, finding Alex on his knees at the bottom of the staircase.

" _Jeez, Onodera you scared me_." He said with a laugh.

" _A-are you hurt?! What happened?_ "

" _Sorry about that. This place has been abandoned for years, so not many people come through here. Hearing someone walking behind me gave me quite a scare_."

" _Here, let me help you up_." Onodera grabbed hold of Alex's right hand to give him some support as he tried getting on his feet.

" _Actually, I'm not feeling that bad right-_ " Alex suddenly jerked and fell back onto his knees again. " _Oh, never mind_."

When he did however, his hand slipped through Onodera's and she pulled Alex's coat sleeve upward, now holding onto his arm.

" _Please be careful not to push yourself. If you need to wait a minute to_ -" Onodera suddenly went silent.

She noticed something strange as she was holding Alex's arm, it was as if his skin felt uneven somehow. She looked down at her hand not sure of what she was feeling, only for her eyes to widen at what she saw.

* _gasp_ * She quickly let go of Alex's arm and backed away.

"Hey, you okay?"

" _A-A-Alex, your a-arm_ ," when he looked towards Onodera he saw horror on her face, as her eyes were fixed on his arm.

Past his wrist upward, his arm was covered with cuts and scars of different shapes and sizes, to the point that the skin was slightly discolored. The sheer number, along with the angle of the cuts made it clear that these weren't accidental.

Alex looked at his sleeve, and when he realized that Onodera saw his arm he quickly pulled his sleeve down in panic.

" _You... saw it, didn't you?_ " He said with his head down, not daring to look her in the eye.

Onodera slowly nodded. " _Yes..._ "

Alex ran his hand through his hair. " _I... I wasn't ready for this to happen yet..._ "

" _Not ready yet? Do you mean..._ "

" _..._ " Alex didn't respond.

" _It's a secret?_ "

Alex held his arms together. " _Y-yes_."

" _What happened? Did someone do this to you?_ "

He opened his mouth to speak but froze for a moment. What he was about to say might have been the hardest thing he ever said in his life. " _No... I did it myself_."

Onodera's heart skipped a beat. The man she had started to come to know was not only badly scarred beyond her notice, but was also doing it to himself wittingly. Only one thing went through her head upon hearing all this: What could possibly make him do this to himself?

" _Why? Why would you do something like that?_ "

Alex chuckled under his breath. " _That's a complicated answer you're looking for_."

" _Please Alex... I want to help_."

He sighed. " _Onodera listen, I want to give you a choice here. You probably won't believe me when I tell you this, but I'm not as bad off as I may look. So if you just leave now, you wouldn't have to get involved in any of this_."

Onodera started to feel herself calming down a little. She walked over to Alex, then sat beside him. " _I don't see how I could ignore a friend in need_."

" _Are you really sure about this?_ "

" _Yes_."

Alex took a deep breath. " _...Okay. Where should I start...?_ "

* * *

 **Author's Notes** : Hey guys, I'm down here now. The theme of depression has up until this point mostly been in Alex's internal monologue, but this chapter starts to show Alex's true colors. Ruri also makes her entrance in this chapter. Out of all the characters in Nisekoi, Ruri was the one who made the most sense to show up. The story takes a much darker turn at the end of this chapter. How Onodera handles the situation waits to be seen.


	6. All in your head

Sweet Love

by Tr-8r810

 **Disclaimer** : I don't own anything related to Nisekoi. This story is strictly for entertainment purposes and not for profit.

 **Nisekoi spoilers!** This story has spoilers of the ending of Nisekoi.

 **Depression** is a sensitive subject to some people. I by no means want to make light of this touchy subject. Even more, I wouldn't want to trigger anyone into a depression episode. Please read with care.

Special thanks to **thatguywhowrote** for taking the time to be a beta reader for this story.

* * *

The overcast weather was starting to get a chilly breeze. Neither Alex nor Onodera really noticed as they were still sitting on the leveled segment of the staircase. They were more distracted by their conversation.

" _You have depression?_ " Onodera said in shock.

" _Well, I have a pretty good idea that I do, but I haven't been officially diagnosed_." Alex stated.

Onodera looked puzzled. " _So then how do you know for sure?_ "

Alex took a deep breath. " _Because around two years ago, my family and I went on a family outing, you know like a road trip. We stopped at a town for lunch while we were out. While we were walking around, my mother had a stroke and collapsed. We rushed her to the hospital, but because of that condition I mentioned earlier, the doctors said it was hard for her body to handle. They didn't think she was going to make it_."

He paused for a moment. " _My dad's a really tough guy, like a man's man, you know? That day was the first time I think I've ever seen him cry. When you see something like that, you know it's serious. All I could think about was her. About how much pain she was in, or how scared she must have been. I hated that I couldn't do anything for her. I don't think I have ever felt so useless in my life_."

Onodera felt a pain in her chest hearing Alex tell his story. She almost reached out to him, but felt that wasn't her place.

Alex continued. " _But she's a real fighter. She spent several days at the hospital swaying between getting better and worse, but eventually started to recover. After she was able to go back home, she worked to take better care of herself, and in time everything was back to normal. You know, happily ever after and all that_."

" _But after it was over, something still didn't feel right. Something was different... I thought I was just depressed about everything that happened, so I tried to just ignore it. Sometime later, I stumbled upon an article about depression online. Out of curiosity, I looked into it a little. When I got to a list of symptoms though, it described everything I was feeling. Negative thinking, low self-esteem, anything I could name, it was there_."

Onodera spoke up " _But, how did you know it wasn't just because of what happened? That alone must have been pretty hard for you_."

" _The thing is, this was months after the fact. If I was just down, it should have cleared up a little by then, which it didn't. Plus..._ " he paused.

" _Alex?_ "

" _The truth is, even before all this stuff with my mother happened, those feelings weren't exactly new to me. I didn't used to think about it that much. I guess I just used to ignore them..._ "

That's when Onodera started putting it all together. " _So you're saying your mother's stroke triggered something inside you?_ "

" _Something like that, yes_."

Onodera took a deep sigh trying to think. " _Is that even possible?_ " She asked.

" _According to what I've read there could be a lot of factors that could contribute to an onset, so it's entirely possible_." Alex rubbed his sleeve against his eyelids trying to hold back his emotions. ' _Best not to cry in front of a lady. This is hard enough on her already_.' He thought.

Onodera's mind went back to what started this conversation in the first place. " _S-so, what about your arm then? You... you didn't do that to..._ "

Alex quickly interrupted. " _No no, I wasn't trying to slit my wrist_." Alex then carefully pulled his coat sleeve up. " _See?_ " His wrist was unharmed, not a scratch on it. But Onodera felt uneasy, knowing what lied just beyond his sleeve upward.

" _I'm not sure if I understand. If you weren't trying to... do that, then why would you cut yourself in the first place?_ " She asked, still concerned about his arm.

Alex scratched the back of his head. " _T-that one I have a hard time explaining myself_."

Onodera looked at Alex with confusion. " _How do you mean?_ "

Alex signed. " _After I found out about my depression, I started having some anxiety problems, and well... how do I put this..._ " Alex thought to himself for a moment. " _Umm... You know how some people smoke or drink to deal with stress, it's something kind of like that. As sick as this sounds, you could think of it as a kind of stress reliever, I guess_."

Onodera quickly stood up. " _That's awful_." She said wiping a tear out of her eye. "Are you telling me that's why you've been cutting yourself?" Her voice was firm, but saddened.

"Well... I think a more accurate term would be that I USED to cut myself."

Onodera froze. " _W-what? Used to?_ "

Alex started to pull himself up. " _Yeah... I guess I must have started feeling better a little, because for some reason about five months ago, I didn't feel the urge to do it anymore. Since then I've been trying to put it behind me. Whether it is my depression or the whole self-harming thing remains to be seen. I thought maybe I could move on from this, get back my normal life without anyone noticing..._ " He stopped. " _...Which is kind of hard when it's literally written all over your darn arm_."

Onodera and Alex stood there in silence, neither of them exactly sure on how to proceed.

" _Alex... I'm so sorry. I-_ "

They both suddenly heard a door slam from the direction of the mall. They both turned their heads towards the sound.

" _Miss Onodera! Are you here!?_ "

It sounded like the voice of the assistant baker from earlier. The one that reminded Onodera of Alex's backpack.

" _Oh my, that must be-_ " when she turned back, Alex was gone.

" _What the- Alex?_ " She looked all around trying to find him. She then saw Alex hiding down the next staircase below.

" _Alex what are you-_ "

Alex then put a finger up to his lips. " _Shh!_ "

The assistant baker then came to the stairway above Alex. " _Oh, there you are Onodera. Where have you been?_ "

" _I, uh..._ " she looked at Alex again, noticing that he was holding his backpack. " _I was just returning that backpack I mentioned earlier. I must have lost track of time_."

" _Oh, okay. But we really need your help back at the bakery_."

" _Right, right... sorry. I'll be there in a minute. I just... need to take care of something real quick. You can go on ahead, I'll be right behind you_."

" _Alright_." The baker turned back and headed to the mall.

Onodera started walking down towards Alex. " _Are you okay?_ "

" _Yeah, sorry. I just don't think I can deal with other people right now, not after what we talked about_." Alex said with a disheartened tone.

" _It's fine, I can see why. I kind of feel the same way to be honest..._ " she paused for a moment. " _I-I need to get back to the bakery soon. I just hate to leave like this_."

" _Don't worry, I'm fine. But you need to help your store out_."

" _But Alex..._ "

" _Listen, if it would help you feel better, maybe we could talk more later_."

" _Okay. A-and Alex, I won't tell anyone about this. It's just between you and me_."

" _T-thanks. I would appreciate that_."

They both turned to go their separate ways. Onodera was going up the stairs when she stopped and turned back to Alex.

" _Alex,_ " he turned as well. " _P-please take care of yourself, okay?_ "

" _I... Thanks..._ " Alex said as he left.

Onodera hesitated for a minute, but eventually went back up the stairs. Many questions were racing through her mind, thinking about what just happened when she felt a raindrop land on her head.

" _Oh_." She looked up noticing the clouds covering the sky had gotten a lot worse. She quickly rushed in before it started pouring.

' _I... I have to concentrate on the bakery. I can deal with what happened with Alex later, but right now I need to focus. If I don't, I'll let Taylor down_.' She thought as she walked through the mall.

* * *

" _The rest of the day was pretty normal after that. But even though I tried, I couldn't stop thinking about what happened. I mean Alex has been putting on a brave face this whole time we've been together, even trying to help me with my feelings with Ichijou-kun..._ " Onodera said sitting on her bed as the storm from earlier was still pouring outside her window.

" _Yes, sometimes it's hard to tell what people are going through, even if that person is right next to you. But I can see why you were shaken up earlier_." Said Ruri on the other line.

" _Argh, then I told him it was just between me and him, and then immediately the first thing I do is tell you everything. What kind of friend does that!?_ " Onodera said in frustration and embarrassment.

" _That reminds me, why did you tell him that anyway?_ "

" _I thought it would be one less thing for him to worry about if I was the only other person who knew_."

" _Well that's a nice sentiment, but I think you were in the right to tell me_."

" _Ruri-chan?_ "

" _Keeping that to yourself wouldn't do you any favors. Besides, it's not like I live nearby to confront him about it or anything. Now if you told your boss, that would be a different story. So try not to worry about it_."

" _T-thanks Ruri-chan_." She said wiping her eyes.

" _More importantly, what are you planning to do next Kosaki?_ "

" _I-I don't know. It's just... he said that in the last five months he's been improving, not needing to hurt himself anymore. It must have took a lot of time and patience to get to this point_."

" _And you're afraid if you act presumptuously and try to get someone to help him, it could backfire and undo the progress he's made on his own, right?_ "

" _Yeah... p-plus I don't want to betray his trust after he gave me this personal information. But at the same time, I can't just ignore what happened. It's not right for someone to do that to themselves_."

" _I know... it's hard to tell what the right thing to do is in a situation like that. Honestly, I'm surprised he told you all these in the first place. That couldn't have been easy_."

" _Huh? What do you mean?_ "

" _If what he told you was accurate, then he's been dealing with this problem for over a year now, in secrecy no less. That means he's been isolating himself to others about it, which would make it extremely personal for him. Yet he still told you when he could have easily ran away from the situation. You should know a thing or two about what that's like_."

" _...I think this is a little different than me confessing to Ichijou-kun, Ruri-chan_." Onodera said feeling embarrassed.

" _Maybe your reasons were different, but the options were the same_."

Onodera thought back to her school days, when she was trying to confess her feelings to Ichijou, trying to think of how Alex might have felt. ' _Nervous, heart pounding, stomach in a knot. I lost track of how many times I tried telling him, so I guess it's pretty easy to remember how it felt_.'

' _...I wonder if Alex felt the same way when we talked earlier?_ '

" _I know you called for my help, but the truth is it's hard to tell exactly what the best way to handle a situation like this is when you're not there, especially when dealing with such a sensitive subject_."

" _Yeah... I understand_."

" _If you're not sure on what to do, you could always try talking to Alex again_." Ruri pointed out.

" _You think that's a good idea?_ "

" _It's worth a shot. It may even do you some good to discuss it with him some more. Maybe get a better idea with what you're dealing with_."

" _Well... There's still a lot I don't quite understand about the situation. Besides..._ " Onodera paused.

" _I want to see him again. If what you said was true, then I want to make sure he's okay after talking about his depression_." Onodera said in high spirits.

" _That sounds more like the Kosaki I know. Always willing to help a friend_."

" _Thanks Ruri-chan. I feel a lot better now_."

" _That's what I'm here for. Anyway... I should probably be getting off soon_."

" _Right, please tell Maiko-kun I said hi_."

" _I will. Take care of yourself Kosaki_."

" _You too. And Ruri... thanks again_."

After hanging up, Onodera took a deep breath.

' _If I do see him again, I have to try to find out more details if I can. It couldn't have been easy keeping his depression a secret like that for so long. It must be tiring too..._ '

While she was thinking of this, something hit her. ' _Wait a minute, why is he keeping it a secret in the first place? What's the point? That's a pretty important detail to know. Why didn't I think of asking him that before?_ '

' _Well... I guess I was a little preoccupied at the moment. But still, this may even help me figure out if there's something I could do to help_.'

Onodera placed her hand on her head, feeling kind of flustered. " _Sigh... I think I need to settle down and get some rest_." She said as she covered her legs under her bed sheets.

Sitting against the headboard she looked outside the window.

' _Alex... how are you doing from earlier...?_ ' She thought looking off into the stormy night.

* * *

Earlier that day

Onodera had just run back inside the mall with the other baker. Meanwhile Alex had just reached the bottom floor of the parking structure. Stepping off the staircase Alex stood still for a moment, then quickly turned and punched the concrete wall next to him.

" _IDIOT!_ " He yelled.

He shook his bruised hand, not really noticing the damage done. He was too mad at himself to care.

' _What is wrong with me!? How could I screw this up so badly!?_ ' Alex mentally screamed, furious at himself for getting Onodera mixed in with his problems.

' _You were asked to help her feel better today, not worse!_ '

He backed up against the wall taking deep breaths. He then slid downwards, landing on his backside.

' _Someone knows... what do I do? I've been dreading this for a year now, and Onodera, the girl I just met like a week ago is the one that found out? She wasn't even suspicious, she just found out by accident_.'

He placed his hands over his head stressing out about what to do next.

' _What do I do if she tells someone? Then what? What would my friends and family think if they knew I have depression? Would they even believe me? I mean she did, but would they?_ '

' _...I can't let anyone else know, not yet. I'm... I'm still not ready_.'

Feeling a pain in his chest, Alex's mind when back to Onodera. ' _She... looked so worried when she saw my arm. Not the response I was expecting honestly. I thought if anyone found out they may get angry at me, or scream in fear_.'

He looked at his right arm as he pulled his sleeve up. ' _I hate that I dropped all this on her. She didn't ask for it, nor does she deserve to know the pain it can bring. No one does_.'

The pain in his chest started to fade, but was replaced with... some other feeling. ' _...She already has enough problems to worry about, she shouldn't be focusing on me. I still don't understand why this crush of hers still bothered her even to this day. But then again I'm not really one to talk. And I still don't know all the details, I shouldn't judge_.' He thought as he pulled his sleeve back down. ' _But how could anyone turn down such a sweet girl like her is beyond me_.'

He shook his head. ' _I'm getting off topic. I have to think of what to do next_.'

Alex paused for a second. " _...Oh who am I kidding? I already know what I have to do next_." Alex said to himself. " _It's because of me that she was so worried earlier. I have to make sure Onodera is okay_."

" _...But I've done enough damage for one day, I should let her catch her breath, maybe I'll try seeing her tomorrow_."

Alex then got back on his feet and walked out of the parking structure.

" _Right now I need to head home_."

But then a dark thought went through his mind. ' ** _Don't you think you're worrying a little too much about her? You know she'll just end up leaving you..._** '

Alex stopped dead in his tracks. ' _I-It's... it's not about whether she leaves or not. It's the right thing to do. That's what matters_.'

His dark thought continued. ' ** _Sure, keep telling yourself that. But at the end of the day, you know it's the truth. People are always the same, they'll make you feel like you're important to them, that you matter. Then they'll drop you at the first sign of convenience... Just like 'she' did_**.'

' _Enough! That doesn't give me any right to treat others that way just because she did!_ '

' ** _Fine, whatever. I guess there really is no reasoning with a fool_**.'

Alex took a deep sigh. " _Whatever I do next, I'll worry about it tomorrow. I need to just relax a little, unwind and... is it raining?_ "

Alex was so deep in thought that he didn't even realize that it had started raining.

" _Crud, gotta move!_ " He said as he ran through the rain.

" _Just great. Could this day get any worse?_ "

( _Achoo!_ )

" _Ah, famous last words..._ "

* * *

 **Author's Notes** : Ugh... this chapter was a little more tricky than I was expecting. I knew when I started writing this story, it was going to be emotionally exhausting. I was expecting that. What I wasn't expecting was how it was going to slow me down to a crawl.

Another problem was I underestimated the amount of time that was going to be spent with Alex and Onodera in the beginning. If I tried to fit the full plot I was intending for chapter 6, it would not only be way too bloated, (Well... for my liking) but would also take several weeks, if not another month to complete. And I don't want that. I thought I'd do what I did for chapters 3 and 4, take the outline for the chapter and split it between two chapters instead.

On a higher note, I was also working with **thatguywhowrote** to touch up the earlier chapters. I really appreciate all the work he did.

I felt it was important that what caused Alex to notice his growing depression was a temporary problem, instead of a permanent one. That way when his life went back to normal he would easily notice that there was a change in him. His mother simply dying might have worked, but that might have changed Alex's character from 'one losing one's self' to one in 'grief', which wasn't the point. Also this story is already dark and dreary as it is. There's no reason to make it more so needlessly.

One part I personally like is when Onodera and Alex are both worried about how the other is doing later in the day. Onodera has ever reason to be concerned about his well-being, but Alex is still focused on trying to help Onodera, ignoring the fact that he's the one that really needs it. Alex really lives to help people, but is blind to himself sometimes.

In this chapter, that stupid baseball takes the form of one of Onodera's fellow bakers. Someone stop me before I do that 15 more times like Komi. X(


	7. Something lost

Sweet Love

by Tr-8r810

 **Disclaimer** : I don't own anything related to Nisekoi. This story is strictly for entertainment purposes and not for profit.

 **Nisekoi spoilers!** This story has spoilers of the ending of Nisekoi.

 **Depression** is a sensitive subject to some people. I by no means want to make light of this touchy subject. Even more, I wouldn't want to trigger anyone into a depression episode. Please read with care.

Special thanks to **thatguywhowrote** for taking the time to be a beta reader for this story.

* * *

Onodera walked out of her apartment and locked the door behind her. She was feeling pretty well this morning, despite everything that had happened yesterday.

After talking with Alex the day before, she was determined to try and think of a way to help, but she didn't have that much to work with. So she wanted to talk with him again, that's when she realized she had a little problem...

' _I don't know any way of how to contact him!_ ' She thought last night.

Despite the amount of times they've ran into each other, Onodera and Alex never crossed paths outside of the mall or the bakery, and they were usually by accident. She couldn't call him because she didn't have his phone number, and she didn't know where he lived, so that was out too. She remembered Alex saying he worked somewhere, but after yesterday's events she couldn't quite remember where that was exactly.

' _For now I can't do that much. Taylor said she couldn't make it to the store again today, so she's counting on me to watch over it for another day. Honestly though, this may not be too bad. Alex has been pretty regular at passing by the bakery, so hopefully he'll come by the store again today, then maybe we can talk some more_.' Onodera thought while walking towards an elevator.

Later...

When she got to the bakery she started working in the kitchen, doing her best to keep the store afloat. When she finished a tray of sweets though, she took them out to the front herself, something usually one of the assistants would do. She also lingered around the front of the store watching the people as they walked by before heading back. She did this several times throughout the day, enough so that one of her fellow bakers noticed she was acting strange.

" _Uhh... Miss Onodera, are you expecting someone or something?_ " He asked as Onodera was looking around somewhat anxiously through the front.

" _W-what? Oh, It's nothing_." She quickly turned and said dismissively. " _Sorry, I should be getting back to work_."

When she got back to the kitchen she took a deep sigh. ' _I'm getting too impatient. I can't just sit around waiting for him to show up, I still have work to do. Just focus, one problem at a time_.' She thought.

The day went on, but Alex was nowhere to be seen. Evening had arrived and she had to close the store. She peered out of the entrance.

' _D-don't get too discouraged_.' She told herself. ' _It's not like he comes by the store every day. Maybe he's just busy. Besides, Taylor's coming back tomorrow, with her help things should go much smoother_.'

Onodera sighed. Her mind went back to Alex again. Their conversation yesterday didn't exactly end where she would have liked it to. She was wanting to find out why exactly Alex was keeping his depression a secret in the first place.

' _It's obviously not doing him any favors keeping it to himself, his arm is proof enough of that... There must be a reason behind it, no one else would ignore something so clearly damaging to their health_.'

She started preparing to head back home. ' _But then again, this isn't a normal pain now, is it?_ ' She wondered, the image of his self-harm in her mind. ' _Normal... what does that even mean for someone like him? Is normal something nonexistent to him anymore, or... is this depressed state his new normal?_ '

This made her feel uncomfortable. ' _No, that can't be right. I mean, how could such a negative, self-destructive, lifestyle ever be considered normal? That... that would be just awful..._ ' Onodera started feeling rather upset. ' _But is that the case? Is that how Alex really feels?_ '

She shook her head. " _I-I need to make sure I see Alex tomorrow. Sitting around worrying like this isn't doing me any good_."

She turned the lights off as she walked out of the store. ' _Please be here tomorrow Alex..._ ' She prayed as she made her way towards her apartment.

* * *

Next day...

Onodera didn't get the best night's sleep. It was barely 7 o'clock but she was already on her way to the mall. It was a lot colder than it had been for the past few weeks, she was wearing an amber orange coat with a peach colored scarf. She could see her own frosty breath as she walked down the quiet street. She then heard a car driving up behind her, which slowed down as it moved beside her.

" _Onodera, is that you?_ " The woman in the car asked. She turned at hearing someone call her name, to which she saw Taylor in front of the steering wheel.

" _Oh, Taylor_."

Taylor was on her way to the bakery as well, so she offered Onodera a lift. Since they were still pretty early, they decided to stop by a coffee shop on the way there.

" _Hello there. How may I help you?_ " The cashier at the counter asked.

" _I'd like an espresso and_ -" Taylor looked towards Onodera.

" _Uh, just a regular coffee for me. Oh, and make it a decaf please_."

" _Okay, it will just take a minute_." The cashier then walked away to prepare their drinks.

" _So Taylor, how's your brother doing?_ " Onodera asked. " _Better, I hope_."

" _Please, I don't even want to think about that idiot_." Taylor said with a hint of anger in her voice.

Onodera nervously raised her hand to her face. " _W-was it that bad?_ "

" _No it's just.._." She sighed. " _Turns out Tim was showing off in front of his friends on his skateboard, he then fell doing a trick and dislocated his shoulder_."

" _Oh my, is he okay?_ "

" _Yeah, the doctor said he should be back to his old stupid self in no time_."

' _Something tells me the doctor didn't add that last part..._ ' Onodera thought to herself.

" _Whatever, I don't want to talk about it. Let's talk about ANYTHING else. What happened after I left the other day?_ "

" _Uh, well... Everything was pretty quiet at the store, not really that much to tell_."

" _Hmm... Well, what about Alex's backpack? Did you finally throw out that stupid thing?_ " Taylor asked suddenly.

" _No, I didn't. I gave it to him when we went back to the store_."

" _Well that's fine, as long as his trash is out of the store_." She said with annoyance in her tone.

" _I wish you wouldn't talk about him that way_." Said Onodera, starting to feel a little frustrated at her friend's words.

" _What, do you think I might hurt his feelings?_ " She laughed mockingly.

Onodera stood in silence. She didn't like how Taylor talked down on Alex, knowing that he's dealing with a serious problem.

She then realized that her attempt to laugh it off wasn't working. " _Uh, hey, what's up? Is everything alright?_ " She asked.

Onodera thought her words over carefully. She still had her promise to Alex to keep in mind. " _Alex and I were talking the other day, and he told me his mother has been going through some tough times recently. It's been hard on his whole family. So could you please not be so hard on him?_ "

Taylor was surprised at how determined Onodera sounded about this. More so, she felt a notable sadness in her voice.

" _O-okay, sorry. I'll lay off on him_."

" _Thank you_." Onodera said in a warmer tone.

The cashier then came back with their coffees. " _Here you go, ladies. You two have a good morning_."

" _Thanks, you too_." Taylor said as they left.

As they were walking to the car Onodera spoke up. " _That reminds me, if you see Alex today, could you tell me? I was wanting to ask him something if I get the chance_."

" _You've sure had a sudden interest in Alex recently. And wanting to meet up again? Did something happen between you two the other day?_ "

Onodera was caught off guard by Taylor's question. " _W-we were just talking the other day, that's all. I just wanted to ask him a few things. Why? What were you thinking?_ "

" _Nothing... just wondering_." Taylor said with a sly smirk.

* * *

Next day...

Onodera was sitting on a stool in the bakery waiting for her last batch of sweets to come out of the oven. She was feeling rather disappointed, for two days now Alex was nowhere to be seen, now turning to three. She was only working for half a day, so by the time lunch rolled around she was already done for the day.

What really bothered her was that Alex seemed open to talking with her again about his depression, but he hasn't showed up for them to discuss it. This started to make her worry. In all honesty, she hadn't been around people with depression that much before in her life, making this all new to her. She didn't know if Alex was just busy, or if maybe he had a relapse or something. She didn't even want to think about the possibility of him hurting himself again. Not knowing was what was eating at her the most.

Just then she heard the oven's buzzer go off. " _Oh. Already done?_ " She noted.

After pulling her treats out to cool, she had them prepared and moved to the front.

" _Here you go Taylor, this batch is done_."

" _Great. Here, I'll take that_." She said, taking the tray from her hands.

Onodera looked at the clock to see that it was almost noon.

" _Oh, looks like your shift is over Onodera_." Taylor noticed.

" _Yeah... I guess it is_." She said in low spirits.

" _Hey, don't worry about Alex, okay? I'm sure you'll run into him eventually_." Taylor said trying to cheer her up.

" _Thanks Taylor. I think I'll just head home for now. Bye_."

" _See you next week_." Taylor said as Onodera gathered her stuff to leave.

Onodera started walking her way through the mall. She felt irritated that after three days, she couldn't find Alex anywhere. Even worse, she didn't have any work for the rest of the weekend, so she couldn't wait for him at the bakery anymore.

' _Am I not trying hard enough to find him? Is there something else I could be doing? If so, what are they?_ ' These concerns started to weigh heavily on her heart. ' _I don't even want to go home, not when I feel like this_.'

She stopped walking and looked down, feeling gloomy. ' _If I ever see Alex again, I need to make sure to keep in better contact with him, so this doesn't happen again_.'

She then heard a loud noise coming behind her. She turned to see the video game store from the other day. It looked like they were reorganizing their merchandise.

Just then, a thought came to her. ' _This store... that's right, he was here the other day, wasn't he? I-I wonder, would someone here know where I could find him?_ '

She knew it was a long shot, but Onodera was willing to try. ' _Anything would be better than just sitting at home worrying_.'

*gulp* Feeling kind of nervous, she made her way into the store.

* * *

It was about one o'clock at the music store when Jess passed through the entrance. He saw his girlfriend Rose sitting behind the counter trying to solve one of her crossword puzzles. He could also see his friend Mark in the back placing some of their new CDs up on display.

" _Hey Rosie. Sorry I was kind of late, I got caught up in something_." Said Jess.

" _Pineapple!_ " She shouted.

" _What?_ " Jess asked, shocked and confused at her statement.

" _Sorry, this one was giving me a hard time_." She said as she was writing the answer.

" _Hmm... So Mark has you manning the cash register?_ " He asked.

" _No, he just wanted me to stand behind it. Something about making the store look more professional_." Rose added, not taking her eyes off her puzzle.

" _Clearly_." Jess looked around the store some more before continuing. " _I take it you and Mark are the only ones here?_ "

" _Platypus..._ " She said as she was writing down again. " _No, Kyle is here as well. Along with Alex_."

Jess quickly turned to Rose. " _Wait, what? Alex is here?_ "

" _Yeah, he was here when I showed up. He said something about needing to fix an old VCR. I think he's in that one room at the back_."

Jess rubbed his eyes in irritation. " _Of course he is. Sigh... I'll be right back_."

He walked towards the back of the store. There was an extra room that Jess and the others didn't have any real idea on what to use it for, so they just left it as is. But Alex often used it for repair work, and to get a little private space for himself.

Jess got to the door and knocked. " _Alex, you in there?_ " He asked somewhat angrily.

The door creaked open with Alex behind it. He was wearing a scarlet scarf that covered the lower half of his face. His eyes were slightly bloodshot and appeared to have a stuffed up nose.

" _Yo.._." Alex said.

" _Alex, what are you doing here? You know you shouldn't be out_."

" _I just had to make a quick repair job. The owner was expecting it, so I_ -"

" _Kicked yourself all the way out here, even though you're sick?_ "

" _Don't be so dramatic. I wouldn't have pushed myself if I couldn't handle it. Besides, I'm feeling a lot better than I have been the last couple of days_."

Jess then kicked the door open revealing a trash bin full of used tissues.

Alex was silent. " _...would you believe a little better?_ "

" _Alex, you-_ "

" _I know, I know. If I push myself, I won't get any better and all that stuff. Look, I couldn't get it out of my head that I needed to finish repairing this by tomorrow_."

" _Well if you really needed too, you could have just called me. I would've dropped it off by your house you know?_ "

" _...yeah. Now that you mention it, I guess you could have_."

Jess lightly slapped the back of Alex's head. " _Dummy, you can be really dense sometimes, you know that?_ "

The bell by the front door rang as a customer walked in.

" _Oh, a customer. Alright Alex, you can finish fixing the VCR but go home and get some rest when you're done_."

" _Sure. I'm almost done anyway, so it shouldn't take that long_."

Jess returned to the front of the store, while Alex closed the door behind him and went back to work. He sat on an old computer chair and looked at the VCR. He managed to fix most of it, but he had to take it apart in order to do so.

' _Let's see, it should take me about twenty minutes to get this all back together. So..._ ' He looked at the clock on his phone. ' _I'll probably get back home around_ *sniff* _two_.'

He felt kind of bad that he hadn't been able to see Onodera recently, what with being sick and all. He wanted to go to the bakery if he had the chance. " _I wonder how she's faring with everything at the bakery..._ " He looked down feeling a sense of regret." _...I really should have kept my big mouth shut. She didn't need to know about any of this_."

' ** _I wouldn't be surprised if you scared her off. I mean, do you really think she'd want to see you again?_** ' The dark voice in his head said.

' _Ugh... Don't you ever take a sick day off?_ ' Alex groaned to himself.

' _ **Do you?**_ '

"*sigh* _Forget it_." He reached for his tools to get to work, but he suddenly heard another knock on his door.

" _Hey Alex,_ " Jess said behind the door. " _There's someone out here to see you_."

Alex sighed again as he got up and out of his chair. He walked over to the door and started to open it.

" _Yeah, who is_ -" Alex opened the door to find Onodera standing behind it. She looked like she just got off work, as she was still wearing her apron.

" _H-hello Alex_." She said with a bright, somewhat embarrassed smile.

" _O-Onodera? W-what are you doing here?_ " He said in shock, not expecting to see her of all people.

" _Do you two know each other?_ " Jess asked in confusion.

" _Uh, yeah... She's a friend of mine_."

" _Ah, well make yourself at home then. A friend of Alex's is a friend of mine_." Jess said comfortingly.

Onodera smiled. " _Thank you_."

" _Well, I need to get back to work. I'll see you two later_." Jess started walking away. " _Oh, by the way,_ " he leaned towards Onodera. " _I'd keep my distance from Alex today if I were you. Don't believe a word he says, he's as sick as a dog. If he says anything about being good enough to run a marathon, it's not true_." Jess said in a joking manner.

" _Okay Jess, we get your point. You can go now_." Alex felt kind of embarrassed, but couldn't help but smile at Jess' antics.

" _Is it alright if I come in?_ " Onodera spoke up, nervously holding her hands together.

" _Oh, yeah sure_." He opened the door wider, inviting her in.

" _Thank you_."

She walked into what looked like a small storage room. It was fairly dark compared to the rest of the store, being that there was only one window and a few lights. What really caught her attention was what was in the room. On one side of the room there were broken electronics, toys, jewelry and other odds and ends in baskets. But on the other side, there were similar things on the shelves, except they were all fixed. They also had notes next to each object with a name written down on it. In between the baskets and the shelves was a table with what looked like an old VCR on it.

Onodera turned her attention back to Alex, who had his back turned towards her as he was trying to tidy up a little.

" _Sorry it's kind of messy. I was actually surprised to see you here. How did you manage to find_ -"

" _Alex..._ " She said in a saddened tone.

He looked behind him and saw her with her head down, not looking at him in the eye.

" _Onodera, i-is something wrong?_ "

" _I'm sorry... The owner of that one video game store seemed to know you pretty well. He gave me directions to this place, saying you worked here. I didn't know what else to do. I haven't seen you since the other day, and..._ " She took a step closer. " _I was worried..._ " She whispered as her eyes started tearing up.

" _Onodera..._ " Alex forgot that Onodera may not have been used to the idea of depression or how it may affect people.

' _And of course I had to be laid up in bed for the past two days, leaving Onodera to wonder why I haven't gotten back to her_.'

" _I didn't want to pry or come off too forward. But..._ " She wiped the tears from her eyes. " _I'm glad I did, to know that you're okay_."

*achoo* " _Well, mostly okay_." He added, making her laugh a little. " _Onodera, I'm sorry I didn't get back to you sooner. I wanted too, but I caught a cold the other day_."

She shook her head and smiled. " _You don't have to be sorry. I'm just glad to see you again_."

Alex blushed at hearing her say this.

" _Huh? Alex, are you feeling alright? Your face is all red, do you have a fever?_ "

" _What!? I, uh... y-yeah something like that._ " Feeling flustered he turned his head away while partially covering his face with his hand.

" _Do you need anything like cold medicine or water? I saw a drug store on the way here if you need something picked up_."

" _No, no. That's okay, you don't need to do that. I'm going home after I finish fixing this VCR anyway_." She looked back at the table with the VCR.

" _So this is where you work?_ "

" _Yeah, funny story. Back then I used to only do repair work on electronics for the store. But one day I fixed a CD player for this guy, and his son accidentally broke his toy while we were talking. So I took a look at it and made a quick fix on it. Next thing I knew, the son's friend comes by asking me to fix something for him. Then his friend, then his mother, and the list goes on. Jess thought I should start a little repair business at the back of the store seeing how many requests I was getting. I guess that's what happens when you get labeled as the repair guy_."

Onodera walked over to the shelves where Alex had placed his repaired works on.

" _So why didn't you just stick with fixing electronics?_ "

" _Well, these may not be the most important things in the world. But they're still special to the owners, even if they have seen better days_."

" _Sentiments?_ "

Alex smiled " _Right. I figured if I can't fix someone's big problems, maybe I can take care of the little ones_."

" _Sometimes it's the littlest things in life we remember the most_." Onodera turned her head towards Alex. " _I think it's a great thing of you to do_."

He shrugged his shoulders. " _It doesn't have the biggest paycheck though, but I like it_."

She looked through the shelves some more when she came across an old cuckoo clock. It stood out that it was something special. It was quite fancy looking as it had animals hand carved into the wood. She noticed that the name of the owner wasn't written down next to it. Instead the old piece of paper just said: "You broke it, you fix it!"

" _Hey Alex, what's this note about?_ " Onodera asked pointing at the clock.

He walked over to the shelf. " _Ah, you may want to be careful around that. That one is for a friend_."

" _Oh really? I guess that would explain the note_."

" _Yep. She was pretty furious at me when I broke it. She left it in a box in my locker at school one day with this note on it. Took me forever to finally finish it_.

" _Which part was broken?_ " She asked.

" _All of it_." He said taking a deep sigh. " _Most of the internal pieces were completely ruined, so I had to find replacements for almost everything. It wouldn't have been that bad if the clock wasn't over a hundred years old_."

" _A hundred years old? That must have taken you a long time to find all those pieces_."

He thought for a moment. " _About..._ _fifteen_ _years, I think_."

Onodera stared at Alex in disbelief.

" _...Did I not mention that I was seven when I broke it?_ "

" _T-that's... wow. That's dedication. She must be someone pretty special for you to go through all that work_."

" _She was. Her name was Sophia. Our families knew each other before we were born, so we basically grew up together. Growing up she was kind of like the older sister I never had. We were always hanging out together, and usually getting into some kind of trouble_." Alex said in a melancholic tone. " _She was the closest thing to a best friend I had_."

Onodera noted that Alex's mood quickly changed. He sounded like how he did when he was talking about his depression the other day.

" _Are you okay?_ "

He turned away from her. " _Y-yeah... it's nothing_." He said unconvincingly.

" _Wait_." Alex stood still in silence, listening carefully to her words. " _T-there's still a lot I don't understand about depression. This... this is all new for me. I know that this must be hard for you. You've been dealing with this all by yourself for quite some time now, and you probably have some painful feelings buried deep within. But when something's bothering me, it helps me to talk with someone else about it, you know? I won't force anything out of you, but if you want to talk about it, I'm here for you_."

"..." He didn't say a word and remained frozen in place.

Onodera hung her head low, thinking she might have come off too forward. Feeling embarrassed, she was about ready to walk out the door when Alex spoke up.

" _She left..._ "

Onodera looked back to Alex, whom still had his back towards her.

" _She... she always had a bit of an adventure streak in her. Always talking about 'wanting to see the world', and 'someday leaving this boring old town_ '." Alex paused. " _One day, she was angry with her parents and we started talking_. _She asked me to leave town with her. Even though I cared for her, I couldn't just uproot like that. I still had my family and friends to think about. I also knew that we'd probably never come back, knowing her. So I turned her down. She was pretty disappointed in me that day_."

Alex finally turned around to properly face her. " _Not long after that, my mother had her stroke. While I was in the hospital, I was trying to call her to let her know what had happened. And honestly... I was about ready to crack. I really needed to see a friendly face more than ever. But I never got a response from her. I kept trying to contact her, but nothing. It wasn't until about three days later that Jess got a hold of me and told me that she had left town_."

Onodera listened to him as he continued, letting him vent everything out to her.

" _She got into a big argument with her parents while we were gone. Her mother told her she didn't want to see her again, and Sophia was happy to grant that wish. Just like that,_ " he snapped his fingers, " _and she was gone. I haven't seen her since. Whenever I think about it_ -" He suddenly stopped. " _N-never mind, I've said too much_."

Onodera stopped and wondered what it would have felt like if someone as close to her such as her baby sister Haru, or her best friend Ruri just left town overnight. Just the idea of something like that happening made her feel downhearted. She couldn't even imagine what it must have been like to really go through it.

" _Alex... You can talk however long as you want, it's up to you_."

" _It's just... It bothers me how easy it was for her to leave. We spent our whole lives together, and for what? She left when I needed her the most, and without even saying a word. It makes me wonder if we were really friends. Clearly I wasn't important enough to even say goodbye to_."

She could feel the pain in his voice. A feeling of loneliness and abandonment.

Alex placed his hand over his face. " _And... I know that's selfish of me to say. I knew that her parents were never really easy on her. Maybe it was just a matter of time before she left. But even so... i-it..._ " He started to stutter, having a hard time finding the right words.

" _Here, why don't you sit down?_ " She grabbed his chair and brought it over to him. He sat down placing his hands on his head.

" _Sorry. I just got a little worked up_."

She leaned down next to him. " _You have no reason to be sorry_." She said in a comforting tone.

" _After I started having these feelings of depression, I just wanted to talk with her again. That's probably why I still worked on her clock even after she left. I thought if I was going to tell anyone about it, it would've been her. I guess in some vain hope that if I kept my promise and gave it back to her, maybe she'd come back. Pretty foolish isn't it?_ "

Onodera hesitated, but then reached and gently grabbed Alex's right hand. Not expecting this, he felt a chill run through his body, as he wasn't used to people making physical contact with him. However her hands were soft and warm to the touch, giving him a feeling of peace and comfort.

" _That's very commendable of you, wanting to keep your promise to her. Even if it took some time_." She said as her hand started to rub onto his. " _It couldn't have been easy keeping all this inside after so many months..._ " She looked at him directly in the eyes. " _That's all you really wanted, wasn't it? A true friend... YOUR true friend. A confidant you could entrust to help you during these hard times_."

Alex's eyes grew dark. " _Yeah... but that's life. People come and go, the world doesn't just stand still because you want it to. Other people manage to get by just fine by themselves. I shouldn't expect any different_." He said in a depressed tone.

" _But you don't need to_." Onodera said, making him look at her in confusion. " _There are people that are here for you. Your friends who work here, your family,_ " she paused. "... _me_." He felt her grip on his hand tighten slightly.

" _O-onodera..._ "

" _If you want, I could help. I can be there when you need to talk to someone. I know it's not the same as if you were talking with Sophia, but I want to help_." She said nervously.

" _Onodera... I-I... don't know what to say... Except that honestly sounds kind of nice_."

" _Really?_ "

" _Yeah_." He shook his head. " _B-but this street works both ways, you know that right? If you ever need anything from me, don't hesitate to ask, okay?_ "

" _Sure_." She backed away, letting go of his hand.

" _Oh_." He reached into his coat pocket. " _I guess I should give this to you in case you need it_." He pulled out his cellphone and pulled up his number to display on the screen.

" _Thank you_." Onodera didn't show it, but she was internally taking a sigh of relief.

' _Great! With this, I won't have to go through anything like the last couple of days again_.'

Onodera exchanged numbers with Alex as well.

" _Then... I should probably be going. I've taken up enough of your time already. Plus you need to get some rest so you can get over that cold_."

" _It, uh... I-it was nice of you to check up on how I was doing. Thanks_." He said awkwardly, rubbing the back of his head.

He got up and walked towards the door while Onodera followed. " _Here, let me get this for you_." He said while opening the door for her. " _Be careful on your way home, alright?_ "

" _I will. And Alex... please take care of yourself as well_."

She started walking out, but stopped. Onodera spoke up again. " _Maybe... when you feel better, i-if you want that is... We could do something together. You know, something to get your mind off all of this?_ "

" _Y-yeah, sure_."

" _Okay. I'll see you later then_." She said as she waved goodbye and went on her way.

After she was gone, Alex suddenly got a reminder of his cold as he felt a pain in his throat.

Coughing onto his hand, he turned around and looked towards his work. " _Ugh... I need to get this over with and get some rest_." While he was walking over to it, he started thinking about Onodera.

' _Maybe I should have taken her up on her offer to pick up some medicine_.' A smile started to spread across his face. ' _It was nice of her to check up on how I was doing_. _It was really refreshing to see her again. I still can't believe she went through all that effort just to see me, all the way out here_.'

Alex chuckled. ' _I wonder what Jess thought when he saw Onodera earlier, it's not that often you see such a cute baker walk into your_ -' Alex suddenly stopped.

' _Eh? Cute? W-where did that come from?_ ' He thought. ' _I-I mean... sure she's friendly, kind and pleasant to be around. S-so it's not like she isn't cute_.'

" _Whatever, back to work_." Alex pulled up his chair and tried focusing on his job but for some reason, the thought wouldn't leave his mind.

' _Come to think of it, she's also really easy to talk to. And her craftsmanship at the bakery is incredible, and she's very pretty. Beautiful actually..._ '

He started to blush at the thought.

' _W-why does this keep popping in my head? Just thinking about her makes me feel... I don't even know_.'

He pondered over this for the rest of the day, but was left with unanswered questions.

* * *

 **Author's Notes:** I prefer to have a new chapter up by the middle of the month, but this chapter took a little longer to make then the others. I hope to get back on track next month, but no promises.

The time skip with Onodera in the beginning was something new for me. I wanted days to pass before Alex and Onodera met each other again, but just jumping ahead 3 days felt boring and a waste of potential. So that's why it turned out the way it did, I just hope it wasn't hard to follow.

" _...would you believe a little better_." Apparently Alex watches "Get smart". I wasn't even trying to hide that reference. I feel like I should be sorry for that one.

Alex's childhood friend Sophia is mentioned in this part. Despite not making an appearance, she's actually one of the most important characters in Alex's past. Losing his closest friend at an emotionally unstable time in his life was one of the other major factors leading up to Alex's depression.

Onodera's caring nature really pushed her out of her comfort zone in this chapter, and moved the story forward. One scene I was concerned about was when Onodera holds Alex's hand. I was worried if it didn't fit her character to act so forward. But given the situation, I think it's not too far-fetched for her to be more open about her feelings then she normally would be.

Speaking of which, Alex himself is starting to notice that his feelings for Onodera are changing. But this will have to wait for the next chapter. (Sigh... can I end at least one chapter that doesn't end on a darn cliffhanger?)


	8. Shifting hearts

Sweet Love

by Tr-8r810

 **Disclaimer** : I don't own anything related to Nisekoi. This story is strictly for entertainment purposes and not for profit.

 **Nisekoi spoilers!** This story has spoilers of the ending of Nisekoi.

 **Depression** is a sensitive subject to some people. I by no means want to make light of this touchy subject. Even more, I wouldn't want to trigger anyone into a depression episode. Please read with care.

Special thanks to **thatguywhowrote** for taking the time to be a beta reader for this story.

* * *

Onodera walked into her apartment and locked the door behind her. She dropped her purse and laid face down against her bed. She looked at the clock on her nightstand to see it was only 3:50 PM. It felt like the day was a lot longer than that.

She was thinking about what Alex said earlier, though she had never experienced depression first hand she was starting to understand why Alex was struggling with it. His mother's stroke, Sophia leaving without a word, his anxiety and stress problems leading him to inflicting self-harm, it was all starting to come together.

' _Even after all of that, he's still trying to keep it all to himself. I still haven't figured out why yet. He said Sophia was the only person he would've told about his depression, but why only her? He has friends, he has family, why weren't they options? At least they didn't leave him_.'

Onodera started to feel agitated at the thought. ' _I mean, sure she didn't know about Alex's depression, but who in the right mind would just run off like that and doesn't even TRY to keep in contact with their best friend?_ ' Onodera took a deep breath. ' _This doesn't sound like me. I'm getting angry at someone I don't even know_.'

She turned over onto her back, trying to get into a more comfortable position. ' _I-I guess I'm just a little emotional after talking with Alex. I wish I could've stayed with him a little longer, but I suppose there isn't that much I can do until he gets over his cold_.'

She then tightly held her right hand with her other hand, thinking about what happened earlier.

' _H-his hand... it felt so cold and rough. I guess taking things apart and putting them back together daily would do that to you. But..._ ' She then felt a tightness in her chest. " _I... I don't know what came over me. When I took his hand, I... I just couldn't help myself. He looked so heartbroken, I had to do something_."

' _Maybe it's because he reminds me of myself_.' A somber thought passed through her mind. ' _I really wanted to fulfill my promise with Ichijou-kun all those years back... but I guess happily ever after endings belong in fairy tales. Nothing works like that in real life_.'

" _But Alex... he's gone through so much pain, so much heartache, to the point that he's even tried hurting himself to find relief. He needs some happiness in his life. W-when he feels better, I should make sure we do something fun together_." Onodera didn't notice it, but her face had become a bright shade of red at the thought

* * *

-Several days later-

Things were pretty quiet at the bakery today, so much so that Taylor decided to kill some time and play a game of Chess with her brother, who had his arm in a sling. Onodera was sitting behind the counter watching them play on a table not far from her.

" _Darn it. You could go a little easy on me you know?_ " Tim remarked.

Taylor sighed. " _Please, just because your arm is in a sling doesn't mean you need a handicap. You only need one hand to play Chess anyway. For example_ ," she then moved one of her pieces into an ideal position. " _Check_."

Tim quickly moved one of his own pieces trying to make a comeback. But every time he did, Taylor pushed in even more until he was backed up in a corner.

" _Looks like checkmate_." She added.

" _Man, how do you beat me every time?_ " Tim asked in frustration.

" _Because your strategy is terrible. All you do is run in, guns blazing. If you want to get the upper hand, you have to wait out your opponent a little_."

" _But that's boring, and it takes forever for anything to happen_."

" _Hey, you're the one who asked_."

" _Grr! I want a rematch!_ " Tim yelled.

Onodera looked at the clock and saw that it was noon, she spoke up. " _I think I'll go on my lunch break now, if that's alright_."

" _Sure. Hey, maybe while you're out you could look for a 'get well soon' present for Tim here. I'd recommend a book on how to play Chess_." Taylor playfully taunted.

" _That's it, rematch NOW!_ " Tim demanded.

Taylor rolled her eyes with a smirk on her face.

Onodera walked out of the store. ' _I guess every family is a little different. I'm glad Haru and I don't get along like that though...'_

She looked at her phone to see if she had any new messages hoping to see if Alex got back to her but she didn't find anything new. They were keeping in regular contact with each other since Alex was sick. Nothing to elaborate, just simple texts like how they were doing that day, or how Alex's cold was faring. Onodera felt a little down that he hadn't texted her all day, but she tried not worrying about it.

She started wandering the mall on her way to the food court, just to clear her mind a little. While she was window shopping, she thought back to what Taylor said earlier about getting a 'get well soon' present for Tim. She actually liked the idea of giving him something while he was recovering. The only thing is she didn't know what to get him. They were friendly enough towards each other, but she didn't really know him that well, not enough to know what kind of present he would want that is.

She rode onto the escalator to see the stores on the second floor, passing by a few stores thinking of what she could get him.

' _Books, clothes, music, I wouldn't know where to start. Plus I don't even know what his taste in fashion or entertainment is_.'

As she was walking through the mall, she noticed the old parking structure from before, the one where she found out about Alex's condition. She stopped for a moment and thought she would take a slight detour.

When she opened the doors leading out, a gust of wind blew past her making it difficult to open the door, but eventually she managed to get out. The sky was cloudy once again, but there wasn't any rain. The old abandoned car was still there rusting away like before. She walked past it to get to the guard rail and rested her arms on it when she got there.

Looking around the parking lot, Onodera felt a chill through her body, and it wasn't just from the cold wind. Being there again reminded her of that day not long ago, the day she found out about Alex's depression. She could almost remember exactly how the scars on Alex's arm felt that day... or the way he looked at her when she found out about his self-harming.

Her grip tightened around the railing at the thought. ' _A-am I doing the right thing?'_ She wondered _. 'Is trying to help him cope with his depression really the best thing I can do for him? Or should I have instead gotten him medical attention immediately after I found out... I mean, I hardly know anything about mental depression, how am I even supposed to help with something like this?_ '

Onodera hung her head low and took a deep sigh. " _I should probably get going, I still need to get lunch before my break is over_."

Behind her however, she heard the sound of the doors to the mall opening up. She didn't pay that much attention to it, until a voice called out to her.

" _Onodera, is that you?_ "

She turned and saw Alex behind her, wearing the scarlet scarf from the other day.

" _A-Alex!? What are you doing here? I thought you were sick_."

" _Oh yeah. I was feeling a little better today, so I thought it would be good for me to get some fresh air. I went by the bakery earlier to say "hi", but Taylor said you just left. I figured I'd just take a walk through the mall. What about you, what are you doing here of all places?_ "

" _Oh-! I-I, umm... was just looking for a quiet place to think, I guess_."

" _Well this is a pretty good place for it. Ever since they made that new parking structure on the other side of the mall, no one comes around here anymore. It's the perfect place to get away to if you want to be alone_."

Alex turned and looked around before he spoke up again, as if lost in thought.

" _Well, don't let me distract you. I'll be going_." He backed up as he started walking towards the mall.

" _H-Hey, wait! You don't have to leave. I wasn't in the middle of anything that important_."

He stopped and turned his attention back to her. " _You sure?_ "

" _Yes, please_." She motioned him to come over. Alex walked up to the guard rail beside her.

" _I-It, uh..._ " He was fighting the urge to stutter. " _I was thinking... it was about a week ago today that we had our conversation here_." He said as he was looking over the railing at some of the overgrown foliage.

" _It has been, hasn't it? It's hard to believe how fast time flies_." She paused for a moment. " _How... how are you feeling about that anyway?_ "

" _Having someone else know about this? It's still all new to me. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for your concerns, but... part of me still wishes I didn't get you involved in this. I don't want to make you worry too much about me, especially when you already have a lot on your mind already_."

Onodera then faced Alex. " _Don't worry yourself with that. I can handle paying my rent and taking care of the bakery without too much stress_."

" _What about that whole thing with that guy you liked? Isn't that still messing with your baking?_ "

She froze in a blank stare.

" _Onodera?_ "

She just realized that the day she and Alex were discussing his depression was five years to the day Raku had rejected her. Before their talk, it was the only thing she could think about. But since then, it hasn't crossed her mind once.

She felt a knot in her stomach at the thought. _'H-how did I forget... I-I know I've been busy at the bakery recently, but... that was heavy on my mind for the last few weeks, how did I just forget about it like that?_ '

" _Hey Onodera, are you okay?_ " She heard Alex call out.

" _Huh?_ "

" _You alright? You kind of spaced out there_."

She shook her head remembering where she was. " _Sorry, I was thinking about something. Anyway, don't worry about that. I-I've been managing_."

" _Yeah but-_ "

" _Alex..._ " she said suddenly. " _I'm here helping you because this is exactly where I want to be. I wouldn't offer you my help if I couldn't live up to it. So please, I'm fine_."

' _That's right. I chose this decision because I thought it would be the best way to comfort Alex with all this. I shouldn't dwell on whether or not it was the right choice_.' She thought to herself.

Alex realized that despite whatever he said, she was determined to see this through. " _...Okay, if you say so. No more objections from me_."

" _Alright, thank you_." Onodera said with a wide smile.

The two stood in silence for a while, Onodera was trying to think of something for them to talk about. She wasn't coming up with anything, but then she remembered...

" _Uh, Alex? Do you remember Taylor's younger brother Tim?"_

" _You mean the smart aleck from the other day, the one who hurt his arm or something?"_

" _Yeah, that's him. He's had his arm in a sling for the past few days, but he's going to get it off soon. So I was playing with the idea of getting him a 'get well soon' gift but... I haven't been able to think of anything quite yet_."

Alex scratched his cheek. " _Yeah, getting gifts can be a pain sometimes if you don't know what you're looking for_."

" _Just wondering, what would you think would be a good present?_ "

He thought for a moment. " _Honestly... I would go with something simple, especially if you're not sure what the other person likes. Even a card or flowers could go a long way_."

" _Well... I'm going to be off work tomorrow, so maybe I'll use that time to try to find him something_."

" _I wish I could be of more use, but I know him less then you do_."

Onodera waved her hand dismissively. " _Don't worry about it. I'll try what you suggested and look for a card or something_."

" _Is there anything else I could do to help?_ "

Onodera shook her head. " _Not really. Unless you want to come and help me look around town tomorrow_."

Alex's eyes shot wide open. " _What?_ "

Onodera quickly turned her face away. ' _Wait, what did I just say!? Did I just invite him to come with me tomorrow!? But... I... why!?_ ' Onodera felt her heart pounding as she was trying to compose herself, knowing Alex was right beside her. _'T-there aren't any chances that he fell asleep while I was talking and didn't hear me, is there?_ ' She wondered as she looked into his direction.

She looked over and saw that he was indeed awake.

" _Would, uh... Would you want me to come along?_ "

 _"Well, i-it kind of depends on how you feel. If you're still getting over your cold, you probably shouldn't push yourself. But..._ " she briefly paused. " _If you're feeling up to it, we could spend some time together, like we talked about the other day_." She said looking the other way, nerves getting the best of her.

" _...You know, it actually would be nice to have a change of scenery_." He said hanging his head down. " _Spending a week doing nothing but laying sick in bed can get pretty draining_."

" _I-is that a yes then?_ "

" _Sure, it sounds fun_."

" _O-Okay then. I'm actually meeting Taylor and Tim at the hospital tomorrow morning, so I'll have to give you the time and directions to get there. And-_ "

" _Uh... just wondering, isn't your lunch break going to be over soon?_ " Alex said looking at the time on his phone.

" _Huh? What do you..._ " She looked at the time on her own phone and saw that it was almost one o'clock. " _W-What!? How did so much time past already?_ " Onodera quickly put her phone away. " _I'm sorry, I need to get something to eat before-_ "

" _It's fine, it's fine. You better get going if you want to make it on time_." Alex reassured her.

" _Right, thanks Alex_." She then ran back to the mall. " _I'll text you the details about tomorrow, okay?_ " She said looking back.

Alex waved. " _Sure, thanks_."

As Onodera left, Alex stopped waving his hand and slowly pulled it down over his chest. When she was out of sight, he unknowingly shed a tear. " _What? Ah... darn it. Why now of all times?!_ " He exclaimed as he quickly wiped it off his face.

' _Nothing happened, I wasn't thinking about Mom, or Sophia, or anything like that. I was just talking with Onodera. Why am I starting to break down again?_ '

' _ **It's because of her... isn't it?**_ ' He heard a voice in his head say.

This wasn't the hateful and malicious voice that he had come to know all too well. This one was different. It was his conscience, as he knew it, the closest thing to his old self he had left.

' _No, I... Onodera is just a friend, nothing more. I don't like her that way_.'

' _ **...You and I both know that's not true**_.'

Alex tightly gripped the guard rail. In the time Alex was sick, he started to notice that his feelings for Onodera were starting to seem... different. The idea of being with her, to see her smile, to hear her laugh, it made him feel warm inside. Something he hadn't felt in quite some time. He tried to figure out why he was feeling this way. But ultimately, he knew what the real reason was. He was starting to fall in love with Onodera.

' _Don't do this to me, not now_.'

' _ **Why? You couldn't stop thinking about her the whole time you were sick. What's so wrong with admitting to yourself that you like her? What are you afraid of?**_ '

' _L-like you need to ask!_ ' He mentally shouted at himself. ' _These feelings... what makes you think they're even real? I've had thousands of crazy thoughts since I've been dealing with depression, from "maybe I'll skip breakfast today" to "nobody would care if I jumped off a bridge", and everything in between. None of that is really me, it's just wild talk_.'

He took a deep breath. ' _So how do I know these feelings for her are even real? What if they're just my emotions getting the best of me again, making me overly attached to the first person who shows a little concern about my depression? I can't act on emotions like those, that wouldn't be fair to Kosaki_.'

' _ **Do you really believe that? Because frankly, I still think you're deceiving yourself**_.'

' _And what makes you think that?_ '

' _ **You know Japanese culture and manners pretty well, right?**_ '

' _Yeah, so what?_ '

' _ **Because you just called her "Kosaki". You've never called her by her first name before**_.'

' _What?! I-I didn't mean to..._ ' Alex was at a loss for words.

' _ **Up until now you've only used her last name, out of respect. But when you're being honest with yourself, you show your true colors. You want to be close enough to her that you could call her by her first name. If I'm wrong, please tell me**_.'

'...' Alex didn't say a word.

' _ **Just try thinking about it, please. You don't need to do it for me, but you could try doing it for yourself**_.'

' _...I-I'll need some time to think this over..._ '

' _ **Of course you do, take all the time you need**_.'

Alex backed away from the guard rail as he decided to head home.

' _ **Oh, and one more thing... whatever you do, don't listen to your depression, okay? This is about how YOU feel, nothing he says matters**_.'

' _I'll try to keep that in mind..._ '

* * *

 **Author's Notes** : This chapter felt a lot smaller to me when I was writing it. I guess I can thank chapter 7 for that one. Now I feel like I need to make them all monsters size chapters. -_-,

Alex's conscience makes it's first appearance in this chapter. I wasn't originally planning for a mental personification to mirror Alex's depression. But I thought about it, and it seemed to work in the context of the story, and also helped to move the plot forward. Just don't expect to see him too often. Depression doesn't like hope.


	9. Emotional check-up

Sweet Love

by Tr-8r810

 **Disclaimer** : I don't own anything related to Nisekoi. This story is strictly for entertainment purposes and not for profit.

 **Nisekoi spoilers!** This story has spoilers of the ending of Nisekoi.

 **Depression** is a sensitive subject to some people. I by no means want to make light of this touchy subject. Even more, I wouldn't want to trigger anyone into a depression episode. Please read with care.

Special thanks to **thatguywhowrote** for taking the time to be a beta reader for this story.

* * *

It was a chilly morning, Taylor was waiting outside the hospital for Onodera to show up, while Tim already headed inside to prepare for his check-up. Onodera had told her a few days ago that she wanted to come along to provide emotional support, Taylor was moved that she cared enough to go out of her way and take her day off just to help her family.

...This feeling however was quickly replaced by rage when she saw a familiar face she wasn't overly fond of.

" _And just what are you doing here?_ " Taylor asked angrily at seeing Alex walk up.

" _Do you always greet people like that, or is it just for me?_ "

" _It depends... for example, if someone doesn't randomly run off and disappear, then I'd probably just say 'hi' to them_."

" _Hey, you said if I treated you and Onodera to lunch the other day you'd drop that_."

" _I did drop it. But that doesn't mean I have to like or tolerate your presence_."

Alex gave her a perplexed expression. " _You have a weird way of showing forgiveness, you know that?_ "

" _I'd count that as pretty forgiving. Especially considering what my first alternative idea was_."

" _Dare I ask what the original option was?_ "

Taylor waved her fist in front of Alex's face. " _Deck you between the eyes, jerk!_ "

He smirked. ' _Was that it? I would have gladly taken a hit over getting into this mess I'm in now, if not only for Kos- I-I mean, Onodera's sake_.' Alex shook his head. ' _Though... she wouldn't like it if she heard me saying something like that_.'

" _Hey, what's with that smile? You think I wouldn't do it?!_ "

Alex moved her fist away from his face. " _No, I believe you. It just sounds like something you would exactly say, that's all_."

" _Well, fine. If you're not here to ruin my day, then what are you here for? Are you getting your head examined?_ " Taylor taunted.

" _A good guess, but no. I'm waiting for Onodera, she asked me to meet her here at this time, but I guess she's running late_."

" _O-Onodera asked you to meet her here, what for? Don't tell me you two are going out on a date or something?_ "

Alex rolled his eyes. " _Hardly. She was trying to find a present for your brother and asked me to help her look for one. Does that sound like a romantic engagement to you?_ "

" _Man, you're such a bore. You're spending the day with a beautiful young lady, but you sound as excited as someone going grocery shopping. You could try being a little more excited about it_."

Alex's expression started to become more irritated. " _I have an amount of respect for Miss Onodera. I'm not going to exploit her friendly gestures just to make romantic advances on her, if that's what you're implying I should do_."

" _Okay, fine. Jeez, you two sure are defensive towards each other, aren't you?_ " She said under her breath.

Alex was curious about what she meant by that, but he didn't really feel like pushing her for details.

Just then, they both heard the sound of someone running up towards them. They both turned and saw Onodera rushing over.

Taylor spoke up. " _Oh would you look at that, speak of the de-_ " Taylor was cut off as Alex pinched her cheek. Not enough to hurt her, but enough to shut her up.

" _Ow! Hey, what are you doing!?_ "

" _Horsing around_." He said in a monotone voice. ' _Calling Kosaki a devil is way over the line_.' He thought to himself as he let go of her face.

Onodera finally caught up to them. " _So... s-sorry I'm... *huff* late. I accidentally overslept this morning_."

Taylor put her hands on her hips. " _Well, you're here now, so I guess that's all that matters_."

Onodera then turned her attention to the man she invited to come with her today. " _Good morning Alex. How's your cold faring today?_ "

" _P-pretty good. I'm good enough to be out here at least._ " Alex was caught a bit off-guard when he saw Onodera wearing an orange sleeveless dress this morning. Embarrassingly, he just now realized that he had never seen Onodera in casual clothes before.

She noticed that he was staring in her direction and felt conscious. " _I-is something wrong?_ "

" _What? Ah, no, no. I was just... thinking. It's different to see you outside of your work attire is all. You, uh... look nice_."

Onodera nervously fiddled with the longer strand of hair on the left side of her face. " _Oh... T-thank you_."

Taylor cleared her throat, growing tired of being ignored. " _So Onodera, Alex said you two were going to get Tim a gift. Is that true?_ "

" _Oh! Yes, I-I'm sorry I didn't mention it earlier. I must have forgotten to tell you_." Onodera apologized, a bit embarrassed at overlooking the matter.

" _Well, do you have any idea what you want to get him?_ "

Onodera shook her head. " _No, not yet_."

" _And I take it that's what you're here for?_ " Taylor asked in Alex's direction.

"... _More or less_."

" _I could give you some suggestions if you want_." Taylor's sly grin started to appear again. " _I think he would make great use for a Chess book-"_

Onodera cut her off. " _Taylor, I'm serious. Don't use me for one of your practical jokes..._ "

" _Ok, ok, fine_." She thought for a moment. " _Well... I know he's into those video games. Hey Alex, you know your way around that one video game store at the mall right? Why don't you two try going there and pick something up?_ "

Alex spoke up. " _Uh... I'm not sure if it's going to be that simple_."

" _Why is that?_ "

" _Well... Let's say you knew someone who was into books. You wouldn't go to a bookstore and grab the first title you saw and expect them to like it, would you. You have to figure out what they like first before you do anything. But that's probably an unnecessary amount of work. And more than you were planning to get, isn't it Onodera?_ "

" _Kind of... I just want to get him a little something while he's getting better. We were thinking of browsing through a few stores before his appointment_."

" _That reminds me, when exactly is his appointment anyway, Taylor?_ " Alex asked.

" _They said it would be around twelve_." Taylor pulled out her phone to check the time. " _That's about two hours from now, give or take_."

" _So, knowing the hospital system it will probably take about three hours then?_ "

Onodera could sense a hint of frustration in his voice as he said these words. Taylor placed a hand on her hip. " _Not a big fan of hospitals, I take it?_ "

"..." Alex didn't respond right away. " _Not really... no_." He then turned towards the hospital. " _I... I need to use the restroom real quick before we go. It'll just be a minute_."

Onodera simply nodded, feeling uncomfortable at the awkwardness of the situation.

When he entered the building, she turned her attention towards Taylor whom started to speak up. " _I... I guess I hit a nerve back there. Sorry..._ "

' _It's because of your mother, isn't it?_ ' Onodera thought. ' _Even being around hospitals must bring back old memories. I wish I would've thought of that before we came here..._ '

* * *

-Meanwhile-

Alex had been to this hospital a few times in the past due to his mother's condition a few years back. Just being there again made him feel sick though.

It wasn't that he hated the hospital or the people working there or anything, he was actually quite grateful for their help. But being grateful and wanting to see either of them again were two different things. It felt like every little thing there brought back unwanted memories. Everything from the look of the wallpaper down the hallways, to the sterilized scent that followed him wherever he went.

He saw a nurse talking with a doctor down the hallway and quickly pulled his coat sleeve down in reflex, making sure his arm was covered as he walked past them.

' _This is literally the last place I need someone to see my arm. One slip up here and that's it, I'll screw everything up_.' Alex thought to himself.

As he was on his way to the restroom, he passed one of the waiting rooms. There were only a few people in there, so it was pretty quiet. Alex didn't pay that much attention to it and walked on. About to continue down another hallway he glanced at the room one more time but then realized that Tim was here. Not only that, he wasn't alone.

Tim was talking with a young woman across the room. She was wearing a school uniform, which would make it safe to assume that they were schoolmates. ' _What's she doing all the way out here at this hour? Don't you have school to be at?_ '

Out of curiosity he walked a little closer to see if he could hear any of their conversation.

" _Seriously, its fine. My arm will be as good as new in no time_." Tim said confidently.

The young woman readjusted her glasses. " _R-really Timothy... there had to be an easier way to get my attention other than this..._ "

He then scratched the back of his head. " _Well, it worked, didn't it?_ " He said, smiling goofily.

She blushed at his comment and muttered "idiot" under her breath.

" _I'll take that as a yes_." Tim laughed.

" _Well, I should get back to school. I'm already running late as is_." She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. " _I'll see you tomorrow_."

" _Sure, take care_."

Tim watched her until she left the room. He then turned around to take his seat, but saw Alex standing right behind him wearing a smug smirk on his face.

" _A-Alex! W-w-what are you-_ "

Alex raised a hand, silencing him. " _I heard you were in a skateboarding accident while you were with some friends. But I take it you weren't just showing off, were you?_ "

" _Wait! Listen, I didn't mean to hurt my arm on purpose! That really was on accident, but that part about my friends..._ "

" _You were just trying to impress one of them, right?_ "

"..." Tim didn't have any reply for him.

" _Hey, it's nothing to be embarrassed about. I used to do a ton of stupid things when I was your age, trying to get a girl I liked to notice me. At least she seems to have noticed your efforts_."

" _Please... just don't tell Taylor. She's mad at me enough already. If she found out why I really hurt my arm, I'll never hear the end of it_."

" _Oh, she's going to find out one way or another, things like this tend to slip out. But you won't have to worry about me doing it. As long as you're serious about this_." Alex's voice then quickly took a serious tone. " _It's never cool to play around with a woman's heartstrings_."

" _I-I am!_ " Tim said firmly. " _This isn't a joke to me, I really care about her. She... she's really special to me... she always has been_."

Alex's expression softened. " _That's good to hear. Never forget to remind her how much she means to you. Otherwise... you may lose her before you get the chance to_."

" _S-sure... thanks Alex_."

" _I need to get moving. I'll see you later, okay?_ " Alex took a step back to leave, but remembered something. " _Oh, and one more thing. Try not to get into a habit of hurting yourself, okay? Believe me or not, but your sister was really worried about you the day you got hurt_."

" _Trust me; that was a one-time thing. It won't happen again_."

" _Alright then. See ya_." He then left to find his way to the restroom.

While he was trying to remember where the restrooms were, he had one word echoing through his mind:

' _ **Hypocrite**_.'

* * *

Outside, Onodera found herself receiving a bombardment of questions from Taylor.

" _So when were you planning to tell me that you had other plans? Seriously, it's kind of rude to tell me at the last minute. And why are you going with **him** , of all people?_"

" _I-I told you before, he's been going through a rough time after what happened with his mother. I thought it would be nice to invite him to come along while I look for a gift for Tim, t-that's all_." Onodera said nervously.

Taylor leaned closer towards her with her hands on her hips. She stared straight into her eyes, making her feel uncomfortable.

" _Is that really the reason?_ " Taylor's gaze was unchanged, but Onodera flinched at the direct question. She continued. " _Ever since you came here, you've mostly kept to yourself, aside from me and Tim. Even then, I hardly see you outside of work_."

" _Taylor, I-_ "

Taylor raised her hand, in a way of saying " _let me finish_ ".

" _I'm not being critical towards you, it's just an observation. We're mostly workmates first, so it's not like we do that much together anyway. But you've gone out of your way, more than once I'll add, just to see Alex_." Taylor then softened her voice. " _...There's something else, something that weighs heavily, pushing you towards him besides just being concerned about his mother, isn't there?_ "

Onodera started feeling tense. Despite her best efforts, it appeared that Taylor was about to catch on that something else was indeed wrong with Alex.

She tried to think of how to respond safely. " _W-what are you talking about?_ "

" _Don't play dumb with me. I can tell there's something up just by the way you look at him. Now Onodera, honestly..._ "

She turned her head away in resignation. " _W-was it that much of a dead giveaway...?_ "

" _...I know I may have picked on him in the past, but if there was something serious going on, you should have just said something_."

She then faced towards Taylor. " _I-I just wanted to avoid talking about it with anyone..._ "

" _I thought so. It's not always the easiest thing to move on from a past love_."

Onodera's expression suddenly went blank. " _...I beg your pardon?_ "

A smug smile started to spread across Taylor's face. " _Well, in hindsight it was kind of obvious. Ever since you met Alex, it's been one thing after another with you two. At first I was worried if you weren't ready to hang around guys again, after... well, you know the story. But it looks like my little assistant baker is ready to try her heart at love again_."

Onodera's face immediately turned a bright shade of red. " _W-w-what!? How on earth did you come to that conclusion!?_ "

" _Aww, your face is turning red! I didn't mean to embarrass you or anything_." Taylor said while giggling.

" _D-Do you even hear yourself?_ "

She didn't seem to listen. " _And tricking him to help you find Tim a present just so you two could spend some time together was a genius move. So romantic_."

" _T-Taylor, t-this isn't a date!_ "

" _Oh, of course it isn't_ ~" She said sarcastically with a wink. " _Alex doesn't know you've got a crush on him yet, does he?_ "

" _T-that's not what I meant. I mean I don't-_ " Suddenly, Onodera's mouth froze on the spot.

It somewhat came as a shock to her. It felt like someone pulled the words right out of her mouth before she could even speak them. She was about to say that she didn't even like Alex that way but as she was about to form those words, for just a split-second, she thought and wondered...

' _Is that true?_ '

This thought shook her speechless. ' _What am I thinking? O-of course I don't like Alex that way. He's just a friend. He's been in a bad way and needs some encouragement. That's right... that's what Alex is to me. ...S-so why can't I say that to Taylor?_ ' She thought as her lip began to slightly quiver.

" _Hey, Onodera_." Taylor's voice broke the silence.

" _Huh, what?_ "

" _You blacked out for a second there. You alright?_ "

" _Yeah... I just..._ "

Suddenly the hospital doors swung open as Alex walked out. " _Hey, hope I didn't keep you guys waiting_."

Taylor smiled at Onodera before turning to speak with Alex. " _No, it wasn't that long_."

When Onodera looked towards Alex, she felt somewhat embarrassed. She blushed and avoided eye-contact.

" _So, are you about ready to go Onodera?_ " Alex asked as he walked up to the two bakers.

" _S-s-sure, if y-you're ready_." She stuttered.

" _Hey, are you feeling alright? You look a little pale_."

" _I-I, uhh..._ " She took a deep breath to compose herself. " _Sorry, I guess it's just a little chilly out right now_."

" _Why don't you just borrow Alex's coat? He's a big boy, he can take a little cold weather_." Taylor suggested while not-so subtly pushing Onodera to make a move.

' _Hey, don't I have a say in this!?_ ' Alex thought while watching the two girls before him.

" _No, no. That won't be necessary_." Onodera answered, quickly glancing at Alex's arm before she continued. " _Besides, it's going to heat up soon anyway_."

" _Alright, fine..._ "

Alex checked the time on his phone. " _Well, we better get going if we want to get back here on time_."

" _Oh! That reminds me. Alex, a moment please_." Taylor then grabbed Alex by the ear and dragged him away.

" _Ow, ow! Taylor, stop it!_ "

Onodera watched as the she moved away with the boy in tow. " _Ah, Taylor! What are you-_ "

" _I just need a word with Alex for a minute. Business talk_."

' _S-somehow I find that hard to believe..._ ' Onodera thought.

She pulled him away until she was sure they were out of Onodera's earshot before speaking.

" _Ow! What is it!? Jeez, you could have just asked me properly to walk over here, you know?_ "

" _Shut up and listen carefully. Onodera is a very kind and loving person, and she is one of my most important workers. So you better take good care of her while you two are out today, you hear? I don't want you doing anything stupid and make her unproductive at work. If something bad happens to her, I'll have your head!_ "

" _You know, the sad part is I can't even tell if you're joking or if you're serious about that last part_."

" _Screw up and you'll find out_."

' _Why does it feel like I'm having a conversation with her father instead of her boss?_ ' Alex thought.

" _Sigh... You don't have to worry, I promise I'll keep a good eye on her_."

" _Alright, good. Then I'll see you guys in about two hours_."

" _Hopefully we'll be back before then_."

Alex walked away from Taylor and back to Onodera, who was impatiently waiting for his return.

" _Are you alright, Alex?_ "

" _Yeah. We were just having a little friendly chat, that's all_."

Onodera sighed. " _Taylor may come off a little overprotective sometimes, but she means well_."

" _Well, it may make her hard to deal with sometimes, but at least you know your boss is looking out for you_."

Onodera smiled. " _Yeah... I guess so_."

" _But back to the topic at hand, where were you thinking we should go first?_ "

" _I looked around the mall the other day, but I didn't see anything that stood out to me_."

Alex thought for a minute. " _Perhaps we could check out some of the stores along the road on the way to the mall. And if we don't find anything, we can check through the mall again. What do you think?_ "

" _Sounds like a good start to me_."

" _Okay then_."

As the two left the hospital, Onodera thought back to what Taylor told her earlier. She glanced at Alex as they walked.

' _What Taylor said earlier... I had been spending a lot of time around Alex. I know most of that is because of his depression, but... when Taylor asked about me having a crush on Alex... I couldn't answer her with a response, and I don't know why_.'

She stepped a little closer to Alex as they walked out of the hospital's premises.

' _I haven't really thought about it much before, but... am I really just trying to help him with his depression as a friend? Or... is there another reason I'm worried about him so much..._ '

Conflicted with her emotions, she found her stomach had started to feel like it was tied in a knot, a feeling she hadn't felt in quite some time.

* * *

 **Author's Notes:** Hey look, that random skateboarding accident with Tim back in chapter 5 was actually important.

One of my favorite parts of this chapter was Alex and Tim's talk in the hospital. Alex pushes himself to help other people, but this really shows that his advice is really a 'Do as I say, not as I do' situation.

Also, there's a little bit of dialogue Alex's says that you need to read between the lines (and parts of chapter 7) to get an idea of what he's implying.

One thing that was very important to me was to make sure Alex and Onodera didn't start falling for each other at the same time, or the same way. I just didn't want the slow pace to be thrown out the window for immediate romance. So I had it build up one chapter at a time. Last chapter, Alex started having feelings for Onodera, though can't admit it yet. This chapter, Onodera questions her own feelings for Alex, not sure what the truth is.

Alright, no more side stops. On to the 'not date'. No pressure.*

*(Lots of pessure)


	10. A 'Couple' problems

Sweet Love

by Tr-8r810

 **Disclaimer** : I don't own anything related to Nisekoi. This story is strictly for entertainment purposes and not for profit.

 **Nisekoi spoilers!** This story has spoilers of the ending of Nisekoi.

 **Depression** is a sensitive subject to some people. I by no means want to make light of this touchy subject. Even more, I wouldn't want to trigger anyone into a depression episode. Please read with care.

Special thanks to **thatguywhowrote** for taking the time to be a beta reader for this story.

* * *

Onodera and Alex were at a department store, browsing through an aisle for a 'get well soon' card for Tim but they were less then successful.

" _See anything yet Onodera?_ " Alex asked while skimming through a few cards.

Onodera shook her head. " _No, not really. It looks like they mostly have birthday cards here_."

" _Yeah, and the get well cards they do have seem to all have either a stupid joke in it, or are off color_." Alex said while reading one of the cards with a disgusted expression on his face.

Onodera placed the card she was reading back. " _Perhaps we should look somewhere else. We've already spent about a half an hour looking through these stores, and we still haven't found anything_."

" _Maybe you're right_."

" _We also have to try to make it back before Tim's appointment_." She added.

" _Well even if we are a little late, all we'll be missing is a bunch of sitting around and twiddling our thumbs_."

" _I still told Taylor I would be there for the appointment, Alex. I can't miss it, even if I can't find a gift_." Onodera said with a determined voice.

" _Right, sorry. Don't worry, I'll make sure to get you back there before twelve. I'm not going to make you a liar_."

" _T-thank you, Alex_."

They both started heading towards the exit of the store. As they walked by the jewelry display though, Onodera saw something and stopped. Alex kept walking a ways before he noticed that she had been left behind. He turned back and saw Onodera with her eyes fixed on one of the displays.

He walked back beside her to see what was up." _Everything alright?_ "

Her gaze was unchanged. Alex turned to see what she was looking at. He saw that one of the jewelry displays had a number of necklaces in it. One of them stood out among the others, as it had the design of a key at the end of it, which seemed to have grabbed Onodera's attention.

" _That necklace over there, I used to have one just like it. It was a little bigger than that one though_."

" _You said you used to have it, did you lose it?_ "

Onodera didn't respond right away. She seemed to be lost in thought. " _Yeah... something like that. I had it for quite some time as I was growing up. I guess seeing something like that here just brings back old memories_." She said, reaching at her collar to touch something that wasn't there anymore.

" _I know everyone handles things differently, but sometimes when there's something I can't repair back at my workshop, some people try getting a replacement of what they lost_." He quickly shook his head. " _And, I don't mean to replace what was lost, but more as a way to make new memories out of something they used to like_."

Onodera tilted her head down and softly smiled before turning towards Alex. " _Even if I wanted to try that, I doubt I could afford to get that one right now_." She said pointing at its rather expensive price tag.

The price was pretty high for just a little necklace. ' _It must be made of some pretty good material_.' Alex thought.

Onodera shook her head a little. " _Sorry, it just caught my eye. We should get going. I've taken up enough time already_." She said as she walked on ahead.

Alex's eyes followed her as she left. Before going with her, he looked back at the necklace once again.

" _Alex, you ready?_ " Onodera called.

" _Yeah... coming_." He kept that necklace in mind as he followed her out.

As they were walking down the street to the next store, Alex noticed that Onodera seemed to be more quiet than she had been before. Perhaps it was because of some old memories coming back to her after seeing that necklace, or maybe because they haven't found anything for Tim, as of yet.

Either way, he felt compelled to come up with something to lighten the mood.

" _Uh... Hey, O-Onodera. We've been looking through a number of stores now, and I was wondering... if you wanted to go somewhere fun for a change of pace. You know, maybe just unwind a little_."

" _Eh? I don't know... do you have anywhere in mind?_ "

" _That kind of depends on where you would want to go. Just nearby there's a candy store we could go to. Or an antique store if you're into that. There's also a pet store, and a used book store-_ "

Onodera turned at Alex. " _Wait, what was that last one?_ "

" _The book store? Well, it's hard to find new book stores nowadays, so-_ "

" _No, before that._ " She asked with a bit of sparkle in her eyes.

" _The pet store? Yeah, it's just down the street a little and-_ "

" _C-could we go there? I would like to see it_." She asked directly.

Seeing her oddly intrigued, they made their way down a few blocks until they found themselves in front of the pet store.

It was a fairly big one compared to the neighboring shops.

As they walked in, Onodera looked and saw a large variety of animals all around her. Cats, dogs, birds, fishes and hamsters just to name a few.

" _Oh my... there's so many animals here_." Onodera said, finding it hard to compose herself. She seemed pretty excited to see all the different animals, quickly walking over to a pen full of puppies.

The young pups were playing around with each other, until Onodera walked up. At seeing her they all happily ran up to the glass, jumping beside her.

" _Oh... they're all so adorable!_ "

Alex watched as Onodera was standing next to the dogs in the pen. _'I guess Onodera has a thing for animals. Though, that isn't much of a surprise now, is it? Cute things do go well together-_ ' Alex then placed his hand against his face. ' _Come on Alex, focus on where you are. This isn't the time for that_.'

Alex then walked up beside Onodera. She looked over at him for a moment. " _Aren't they cute?_ "

" _Yeah..._ " Seeing them up close, Alex did notice that the pups seemed a little different. He had been to this pet store a few times in the past, but today the dogs seemed extra excited.

" _Ah. Alex, take a look at this_." She said pointing at another pen which had a number of kittens cuddling together sleeping in it. As soon as Onodera came beside them however, they all woke up and started purring against the glass, which made Onodera smile.

She looked over at Alex. " _They sure are light sleepers, aren't they?_ "

" _Yeah, it sure looks like it_." He added.

Looking around the store he noticed that it wasn't just cats and dogs that were more lively. Turns out every animal was starting to get more active.

 _'Huh... that's funny. usually these animals wouldn't bat an eye whenever I came through here, but today they're all hyped up. I wonder, could it be because of..._ '

" _Hey Onodera, do you get along well with animals?_ " Alex asked.

" _Huh? I guess so, but it's not like it's anything special_." She said while waving at the kittens.

Alex looked at a fish tank behind him to see that even the fish were crowding together, apparently to get a view of Onodera.

' _Yeah... I'm getting a feeling you're selling yourself a little short there Kosaki_.'

" _Back in high school, I used to help take care of some of the animals that were at our school. I would help feed them, clean up after them and sometimes play with them_."

" _That sounds nice_."

" _What about you Alex? Have you been around animals much?_ "

" _Not really. I must scare them or something, because every time I try to act friendly around one, they run in the opposite direction_."

" _Oh come now, you have to be exaggerating_."

Alex then raised his hand, and moved it closer to the fish tank beside him. At this the fish inside started swimming violently in a panic.

" _Oh my, you weren't joking_."

" _Ah, it's alright_." Alex then cracked a smile. " _I guess animals don't want to hang around me either_." He said pulling his arm back.

Onodera was shocked at what she just heard. " _Alex...?_ "

He shook his head. " _Sorry... that just kind of slipped out_."

Onodera stood up and walked over to Alex. " _You know... Maybe it's because they don't know you that well yet. If they spend more time with you, I'm sure they'll warm up to you more_." She said with a blush across her face. " _It's just a matter of finding the right kind of animal that suits you_."

Alex turned his head down. " _Maybe you're right..._ "

Onodera thought of a story that might cheer her friend up. " _Hey Alex, there was something I was wanting to show you over here. It reminded me of something back in my school days_."

Onodera took Alex's hand and started pulling him to the other side of the store.

" _A-alright, sure. Just try not to go too fast_."

Neither of them really noticed it, but they spent most of their time in the store holding the other's hand after that.

* * *

About 20 minutes later, they left the pet store to get back to looking for Tim's gift. While they were leaving, they ended up talking about animals they've seen in their lives. Alex was having a hard time believing one of Onodera's stories though.

" _So let me get this straight, your school allowed you to keep a crocodile on campus!?_ "

" _Yeah. I can see why some people would be surprised by that idea, but really he was a big softy_."

' _I'm going to have to take your word for that one..._ ' Alex thought.

" _So, what should we do now Onodera?_ "

" _I guess we should go back to the mall and check some of the stores there. Maybe see if they have a gift shop arou-_ "

Suddenly, Onodera's stomach made a loud growl. Onodera went silent as her face became a bright shade of red.

' _W-where did that come from?!_ ' She thought as she placed her hands over her stomach. ' _M-maybe I haven't eaten enough today. I should've thought of that beforehand_.' She then looked at Alex, who simply continued walking along, not seeming to have noticed.

Onodera took a sigh of relief. ' _Thank goodness. If anyone heard that, I think I'd die of embarrassment_.'

" _What were you saying? You wanted to head back to the mall again?_ " Alex asked.

" _Y-yeah. If that's alright._ "

" _Sure. I was just wondering if we could stop somewhere to eat while we're there. I didn't eat that well this morning_."

Onodera seemed surprised by Alex's forwardness. " _Yeah, sure. It's fine with me_."

" _Cool. I know a place we can go to that shouldn't take too long_."

In truth, Alex clearly heard Onodera stomach growl. But he didn't dare embarrass her or put her on the spot by asking her about it. Instead, he made up a story so Onodera could get something to eat, and hoped she wouldn't think twice about it.

On the way to the mall, he took her to a small restaurant. It was a little out of the way, but it was a place he had come to like, plus it beat eating at the mall's crowded food court. The building itself was next to a large oak tree, giving it a cozy shading.

" _My, what a beautiful place_." Onodera commented.

" _I thought you'd like it. I'll take care of the bill today, so feel free to get whatever you want."_

Onodera was surprised at what Alex said. " _Y-you don't need to do that! I can pay for my half_."

" _No please, I insist. It isn't much, but... I wanted to thank you, for everything you've done_." He avoided looking her in the eye, out of embarrassment. " _Talking openly about my depression hasn't been the easiest thing for me to do. But even so, you've been very caring and patient with me, even if we've only met each other a few weeks ago. So please..._ "

Alex's words warmed Onodera's heart. " _I-I see. Then, I'll gladly accept your offer_." She said with a bright smile.

At this they both walked in. One of the waitresses quickly noticed them enter.

" _Welcome. Table for two?_ "

" _Yes please_." Alex answered.

" _Alright..._ " The waitress pulled out two menus from under the cash register. " _Follow me please_."

As they were heading to their table, they noticed that the restaurant had a fairly big crowd, but they were still able to easily get a table. The two took seats across from each other.

" _So, here's your menus. Can I get you started with something to drink?_ "

Onodera spoke up. " _I'll just have a water please_."

" _Make that two_." Alex added.

" _Alright, I'll be back in a minute_." She said before walking away.

Onodera started looking around the room. The restaurant was in the style of an old fashioned diner. She pulled out one of the menu, looking for what to order. While she was, she peeked over to look at Alex, who was looking through the menu as well.

She tipped hers down slightly to speak with him. " _Do you know what you were thinking of getting?_ "

" _Not sure yet_." He pulled his menu down as well. " _I might just get one of their sandwiches. What about you?_ "

She flipped her menu over. " _I was thinking of getting this one chicken salad here_." She said pointing at a picture of it on her menu.

" _You sure that's what you want?_ "

" _Oh, yes. One thing about being a sweets baker is I have to test the food myself when I make it. So I have to make sure that I not only eat healthy, but also live healthy_."

" _Wow. The life of a baker sounds pretty serious_."

" _It is. But I've always loved doing it. It's been a dream of mine to be a real baker myself_."

The waitress suddenly came back with their drinks. "Here's your water." She then placed them on the table.

" _Thank you_." The two said in unison.

" _I'll be back in a minute to take your orders_." She then moved to help another customer.

As Alex took a sip of his water, a question came to mind. " _Hey Onodera. If you don't mind me asking, why exactly did you come all the way out here to work on your baking skills? I mean... surely there must have been somewhere closer to your hometown you could've gone to if you just wanted to practice your baking?_ "

" _Well honestly, there was a number of reasons I chose to come out here instead of my home country_." Onodera said before taking a quick sip of her drink. " _You already know that one of the reasons was to help me distract myself from what happened five years ago with Ichijou-kun, right?_ "

" _Yeah, you mean about that boy you liked?_ "

" _That's right. But the other reason was because of my family_."

" _What do you mean exactly?_ "

" _B-back in my hometown, the Onodera family name is pretty synonymous with baking. Growing up I remembered that my mother was always baking, always working on some new treat she was trying to perfect. It was something I always wanted to be myself. But I was never as good as my mother. A lot of my food could hardly classify as even being edible_."

" _Onodera, that's not-_ "

" _Alex, you've tasted it yourself, you know I speak the truth. It's always been like that, at least up until last year. But back in high school most people that came by my parents' bakery would still praise my work, even though it was clearly terrible. I never knew whether it was because they didn't want to hurt my feelings, or if they were trying to be nice because they knew my parents. The more this went on, the more I wondered if I was really getting better or not_."

" _I'm sorry. I didn't know_."

" _If I wanted to become a real baker, I had to know my worth, not just hearing pretty words. That wasn't something I could figure out while working at my parents store. I talked with a friend of mine about it, and she wondered how I felt about working abroad. Somewhere like here, the Onodera name doesn't mean anything to anyone, so my work could speak for itself_."

" _Ah... I see where you're getting at_."

" _Of course... there were a few snags along the way. But I hope to learn a lot from this experience, and maybe even someday..._ " she paused. " _I would like to open my own bakery_." She said with a smile. " _It wouldn't even need to be the biggest or the fanciest restaurant in the world. I'd just be happy knowing my work brings happiness to people_." Onodera started to blush. " _L-listen to me, rambling on and on about something so silly_."

" _Are you kidding, that's beautiful_."

" _W-what?_ "

" _You're following your dreams. Not only that, but you've taken so many negative problems in your life and found a way to improve yourself through them. Trying new things, going to new places. And all this to prove your worth to yourself, It truly is beautiful. You're definitely a much stronger person then you let on to, Onodera_."

" _I-I... T-thank you_."

" _I just have to ask though, if you do start your own shop, could I try sampling your sweets?"_

Onodera let out a chuckle. " _Sure, we could do it for old time's sake_."

They both laughed. Alex looked at Onodera with a soft smile, but suddenly he started feeling on the verge of breaking down again, like the other day. He then cleared his throat. " _I think, uh... I'll use the restroom real quick_."

" _Alright, I'll be right here_." She said as he left his seat.

Onodera pulled out her phone checking to see if she had any messages. Across the room however, a group of college students entered the restaurant. The four of them were seated not far from Onodera.

" _We'll just get something quick for lunch. We still have a lot of studying ahead of us if we want to be done by next week_." A tall man in glasses said.

" _Come on, we have plenty of time before we need to worry about that. Besides, I'm more concerned about Stacey's party tonight_." Said the blonde jock in the group. " _I told everyone I was coming over with a beautiful date tonight, but she cancelled_."

The one woman in the group spoke up. " _Wait, I thought you were going with that one girl, you know, the one who had a thing for you. What happened?_ "

The last man replied with his nose in a book. " _She called it off because she saw this idiot here hitting on another woman_."

She gave the jock a dirty look. " _Yeah... that's a good way to make your date night a lonely one_."

" _Come on, I messed up one time. What am I going to do now Wil?_ "

" _Why not just try asking someone else out?_ " He said, flipping a page. " _Shouldn't be that hard with all the girls you have flocking around you_."

The girl turned around and noticed Onodera sitting behind her. " _What about that girl over there? The one sitting by herself. She looks like your type of woman_."

The dateless jock looked over his friend's shoulder. " _Oh, you mean that Asian chick? Well... She is quite a hottie-_ "

The man in glasses interrupted him. " _Davis, don't even think about it. We're not here for you to go girl-hunting, this is serious!_ "

" _I am taking this seriously, but I also seriously need a date for tonight_." He jumped out of his seat. " _Trust me, this will only take a few minutes_." He said in a conceited tone.

" _No wait, you idi-_ " he was already out of earshot. " _*sigh* That man is going to be the death of me_." He expressed while pinching the bridge of his nose.

Onodera was still looking through her phone and didn't notice the unexpected company that was almost upon her.

" _Excuse me, is this seat taken?_ " He asked.

Shocked by the complete stranger suddenly approaching her, Onodera was at a loss for words. " _W-what? U-u-uh, w-well... sorta-_ "

Not waiting for a response, he took the seat beside her. " _Eep!_ " She quickly scooted down her seat, but she was sitting against a wall, so she didn't have any means to completely back away from the stranger beside her.

" _Hello, I saw you across the way over here sitting by yourself, so I thought I'd say hi_."

" _Oh... I... uh..._ "

" _Huh? What's wrong, can't you speak English?_ "

Onodera started feeling a mixture of embarrassment and frustration. " _Y-yes, my English is fine. May I ask why you're taking up a seat beside me?_ "

" _I was just wondering if I could have a chat with you, seeing as we're both just waiting here, killing time_."

"I _-I suppose... But I'm waiting for a friend of mine to get back here, so you can't stay too long_."

"T _hat's fine, I'm sure she'll be cool with it_."

" _I never said he was a-_ "

Ignoring her, he continued. " _The name's Davis by the way. What's yours?_ "

Onodera sighed. She felt no reason to give her full name to her rather forward acquaintance.

" _Onodera_."

" _Onodera, huh? That's a funny name. Is that Chinese or Korean?_ "

She placed a hand partly over her face, feeling somewhat uncomfortable. " _J-Japanese_."

Across the way Davis's friends could hear most of the conversation.

" _Still the master of sensitivity with the ladies I take it_." Wil remarked sarcastically.

The young lady replied. " _Yeah... I'm starting to feel bad for pointing her out to him in the first place_."

Davis meanwhile quickly started shifting gears. " _So Onodera, me and a group of friends were going to a get together later today, and we have room for one more. You should come too_."

Onodera was surprised by the forward request. " _That's... nice of you to offer. But I already have plans today_."

" _Come on, not even just for a few minutes? You wouldn't have to stay long_."

Onodera turned her face away, looking out the window.

Davis started reaching for Onodera's shoulder. " _I'm sure everyone there would love to meet you..._ "

Just before he was able to make contact with her, another hand quickly grabbed Davis's arm, interrupting his advancement.

" _Ow! What the-_ "

Onodera turned back and saw a hand reaching out for her, but more importantly, also the hand tightly grappling Davis's arm away from her. She looked behind her seat and saw that it belonged to Alex. But... his eyes looked different from before. His usual calm and laid back expression was replaced by what she could only describe as repressed anger. For some reason though, she felt happy to see it.

" _Excuse me, is something wrong here?_ " Alex asked, holding back his frustration.

Onodera opened her mouth to speak, but Davis beat her to it.

" _No, uh, I was just having a talk with the young lady here. So if you don't mind, could you let go of my- Urk_!"

Davis yelled as Alex forcefully twisted his wrist into a rather uncomfortable position, silencing him before he could continue, while attracting the attention of some onlookers

" _I wasn't asking you_." He said in a harsh tone, before turning his attention towards Onodera. " _Is this man bothering you?_ "

" _Well..._ " Onodera hesitated, noticing the crowd waiting for her response.

" _Let me rephrase that. Is this man making you uncomfortable?_ "

" _...Y-yeah... kind of_."

The woman at the other table noticed the escalating situation. " _Uh-oh... Wil, I think Davis bit off more than he can chew_."

" _Now what has he got himself into this-_ " As he pulled his book down, he was shocked at whom he saw. " _Wait a minute... that looks like-_ " he quickly got out of his seat and rushed over.

Alex meanwhile used his positioning to leverage Davis out of his seat. " _If you are causing the young lady distress, why don't you be a gentleman and excuse yourself?_ " He then let go of his arm causing Davis to jerk forward.

Davis then rubbed his arm where Alex had his grip on. But then made his hand into a fist as he cracked his knuckles. " _Why you little-_!"

He turned to confront Alex, but his friend quickly grabbed him by the shoulders and started pushing him towards the exit.

" _Hey, Wil, let go!_ " Davis said in anger while exiting the building.

The man wearing glasses approached Alex. " _I must apologize for my associate's behavior. We'll see ourselves out_."

" _Are you his friend? As long as he stays away from Miss Onodera, that's enough_." Alex said in a sharp tone.

" _No, it would be better if we just leave. Sorry again for the inconvenience_." He then turned and walked away.

-Outside-

" _Wil, what are you doing!?_ "

" _Saving your skin, you idiot!_ " He said as he dropped Davis on the ground.

" _Ow. What are you talking about? I could take on a wuss like him_." Davis said confidently.

" _You don't remember him, do you?_ "

Davis shook his head. " _Well no, should I?_ "

" _Remember that moody kid you beat up once back in the first year of high school? You know, the one who was friends with that beast Sophia?_ "

Davis shuddered, realizing what the problem was. " _That was him? Why didn't you say anything?!_ "

" _How could I? I hardly recognized him! But judging by your arm, I would guess that Sophia taught him a thing or two about self-defense. So unless you want another black eye, I'd keep my distance from him if I were you_."

-Back inside-

" _Onodera, are you alright? What happened?_ " Alex asked in a worried tone.

The young girl took comfort seeing Alex's mood return to its old self.

" _I'm not sure... after you left, that man just came up and started talking to me out of the blue. I think he said something about going to a party, I guess he wanted me to come with him or something_."

" _Gosh, it's flirts like him that give men a bad name_." Alex sat back in his seat. " _But you're okay right?_ "

" _Yes, I'm fine. Thank you for your concern, and your help_." Onodera said with a smile on her face.

Alex turned his face as it became red seeing her smile. " _D-don't mention it. I'm just glad you're safe_."

The waitress walked up to their table holding a paper and pen. " _Sorry for the wait. Do you have an idea of what you want? We also have a few specials if you two are interested. Today we have a grilled beef sandwich with your choice of sides, and we also have a couple's special today in our dessert menu if you're looking for something after lunch_."

Alex and Onodera both looked at the waitress in shock.

" _I'm sorry, did you say you had a 'couple's' special in your dessert menu?_ " Alex promptly asked.

" _Oh yes, we've had a number of couples come in today to order that. But honestly, a lot of them are just a bunch of high school kids. It's nice to see such a loving couple that really stand up for each other like you did_."

Onodera, now as red as a tomato, buried her face behind her menu in embarrassment. " _I... Alex...does everyone here think that y-you and me a-are..._ "

Alex, blushing as well, placed his hand over his mouth trying to hide it. " _I-In hindsight, I suppose I may have given off the wrong impression earlier_."

The waitress looked at the two of them in confusion, as they both tried to hold back their embarrassment.

* * *

 **Author's Notes:** Man I hate it when I update late in the month. Almost as much as I hate rewrites, and writers block, and hot weather making those last two things worse.

The joke of animals loving Onodera makes an appearance in this chapter, to which I have to say was a lot of fun to write. Just the idea of all the animals in a pet store being attracted to Onodera like a magnet seemed too funny and cute to pass. I do however feel a little bad making Alex have the opposite effect on them...

The original series really loved the joke that all the men at the school hated Raku for getting all the girl's attention. Maybe it's just the curse of harems, but not having any other main male characters besides Raku and Shū made this joke more frustrating to me looking back on it, as it reminds me of my problems with the harem genre as a whole. The college students were a bit of a reference to this, showing Onodera's popularity with men.

The character named "Davis" was actually a Digimon Adventure 02 reference. His personality of being a cocky athlete who flirts with a girl he likes was similar to that of Digimon's Davis. Granted, I purposely made him a dislikable character, it wasn't anything personal against Davis from Digimon. I just liked the similarities.

I liked the idea of Alex and Onodera being mistaken as a couple at the restaurant, but I didn't give the idea that much thought. However, **thatguywhowrote** suggested a joke about a waitress recommending an item on a menu that was "a usual order for dates." Which fit perfectly in this chapter.


	11. False loved ones

Sweet Love

by Tr-8r810

 **Disclaimer** : I don't own anything related to Nisekoi. This story is strictly for entertainment purposes and not for profit.

 **Nisekoi spoilers!** This story has spoilers of the ending of Nisekoi.

 **Depression** is a sensitive subject to some people. I by no means want to make light of this touchy subject. Even more, I wouldn't want to trigger anyone into a depression episode. Please read with care.

Special thanks to **thatguywhowrote** for taking the time to be a beta reader for this story.

* * *

Taylor was sitting impatiently with her brother Tim in the waiting room. She looked at her phone for the time.

' _It's almost twelve, where are you Onodera? You were supposed to be back by now_.' She thought, looking through the entrance.

Tim turned towards his sister. Seeing that she was acting impatient, he thought he'd try cheering her up. " _Hey, try not to worry too much. I'm sure they'll be here soon_."

" _I just want to know what's going on. She hasn't texted me or anything_." Taylor said in a worried tone.

" _I'm sure she's fine. Besides, Alex is with her_."

' _Yeah, **that's** what worries me. The last thing that girl needs is another broken heart. Onodera, you better not have done anything reckless_.' Taylor thought, still believing that Onodera has a crush on Alex.

" _Besides, even if they are a little late, it's just a check-up. So they wouldn't miss that_ -"

Almost on cue, Onodera and Alex suddenly rushed into the room. The girl was carrying a small bag with her as they came in.

" _Hey, see? What did I tell you? There they are_." Said Tim.

" _Look, there's Taylor and Tim. They haven't gone in yet_." Alex pointed out.

" _G-Good. We... we made i-it on time_." Onodera said, trying to catch her breath.

" _Hey, are you okay? Was it the run back here?_ "

" _P-Probably... I guess I wasn't paying attention to how hard I was pushing myself_..." Onodera noted.

" _Why don't you take a seat with Taylor and rest while I get you some water_."

" _S-sure... thank you.._."

Onodera walked up to the siblings. " _Cutting it a little close, don't you think?_ " Taylor remarked as she took a seat beside her.

" _Sorry. It took a little longer then we were expecting_."

Taylor leaned over. " _So, did you find something?_ " She whispered.

" _Yeah, Alex helped pick it out. I was thinking of giving it to Tim after his appointment_."

Taylor reached for Onodera's bag to take a peek. Inside was a small cute plush octopus, which had writing stitched onto the back of its head. It read: " _if you need a hand, I got eight_."

" _It's a silly present, but I think it's cute. Plus Alex thought Tim would get a good laugh out of it_." Onodera said before closing the bag up.

Taylor seemed to be a bit confused by Onodera's choice in gifts, but figured if she was happy then that's all that mattered. " _Sure, whatever you say... So, where did you two go anyway? Anywhere romantic?_ " She teased out of nowhere.

" _W-W-What!? No, of course not!_ " Onodera yelled. " _Why would you even ask that!?_ "

Taylor giggled. " _Oh come now, you don't have to be so embarrassed_." She said with a smile. " _I was just curious where you guys went_."

" _Well... we just looked through a couple of stores, then when we went to the mall, we found this there_." She then pulled the bag up. " _Let's see... we also stopped by a restaurant and got something to eat_."

" _Ooh, you two when out to eat? Tell me, did anything exciting happened?_ "

Onodera looked away nervously. ' _Well... 'Exciting' would definitely be a fitting way to describe it_." She thought.

Taylor leaned over. " _Hmm, what's with that look on your face, is something up?_ "

" _I-it's n-nothing_ " Onodera tried defusing the conversation.

Taylor gave her a stern look. " _Really? Because it looks like something to me_."

Onodera started fidgeting with her fingers. " _W-Well..._ "

* * *

-Elsewhere-

Alex spent several minutes looking for a water vending machine. It threw him off because they had moved it to a different location than he had remembered. Eventually though, he found one in a small isolated room. He bought bottled water for Onodera when he thought for a moment.

' _Maybe I ought to get an extra one, in case someone else wants some too. Plus, it wouldn't look like I'm giving Kosaki special treatment_.'

Realizing what he was thinking, he hit his head against the vending machine. ' _Idiot! Why am I even worried about that? Just because that waitress thought we were a couple doesn't mean I have to worry about every little thing we do together_.'

' **You're worried people will mistake you two as a couple? Now I know you're just making stuff up to feel bad about**.' His dark side appeared.

' _Really, you have to show up right now?_ '

' **Your stupidest problems always get my attention the fastest. But it doesn't really matter though, does it? This is all short-term anyway. She's way out of your league, and you know it. Why else would you start breaking down just by looking at her?** '

' _S-Shut up_.'

' **Ha! Look at you, getting upset over the idea of losing something you never had. Why on earth would you even think she'd want to spend time with a pathetic loser like you?** '

' _Shut up! Jeez, I can't even pick up a water bottle without you getting on my case. I'm sick of it, and I'm sick of listening to you!_ ' Alex shouted in his head.

Suddenly, he felt a painful surge through his head, knocking him down to his knees.

' _Crud... right, anxiety and stress don't mix well when you're still getting over a cold..._ ' Alex thought while placing his hand on his head.

' **Fool... Do you not know my words bear weight just as much as yours? You think you can just shove me aside, into a dark corner in your mind? Ha, I'd love to see you try. Remember: I was the only one with you when no one else was. You can never deny my existence, for you and I are one. We are inseparable...** '

'...' Alex didn't put up any rebuttal.

' **Whatever you do, it won't make a difference. You could keep lying to yourself about your feelings towards her, or embrace them, but she'll still leave you in the end. I don't care what you do, so just pick something already and stop whining about it. It's annoying. And remember that when she's gone, I won't tell you I told you so... Oh who am I kidding, of course I will! Ahaha!** '

Alex turned around and leaned back against the vending machine " _Ugh... yeah, right... of course you would_."

He thought about what his depressed side said as he stood up. ' _Maybe I have been fooling myself, haven't I? But "whatever I do it won't make a difference", I'd LOVE to prove you wrong on that_.' He shook his head. ' _No, not to prove you wrong. To prove to myself that I'm not as useless as you'd like me to think I am_.'

Alex's internal monologue was cut short as Taylor walked by the doorway.

" _Taylor?!_ "

" _Finally, here you were. I was beginning to wonder if you ran off again_."

Alex sighed. " _Taylor for the last time-_ "

She cut him off, correcting herself. " _Actually, that was uncalled for. Sorry_."

Alex raised an eyebrow at her statement. " _I'm sorry, what?_ "

" _I-I... I was talking with Onodera earlier about where you guys went, and she told me about what happened at that restaurant. I was surprised to hear that you kicked out someone for hitting on her_."

' _You make it sound a lot nobler than it actually was_.' He thought. Admittedly, the actual reason he jumped in so quickly was because he was jealous that someone was sitting beside Onodera. It was only moments later when he realized the man sitting beside her was a flirt.

" _Listen, I may not have been fair to you earlier with all that stuff about you running off the other day_ _. I'm sorry_."

" _Uh, there's no need to apologize. That's kind of old news now anyway_." Alex shrugged.

" _Either way, you kept your word to take care of her. So, I... thank you. Thank you for protecting her, it meant a lot to me, as well as for Onodera_."

" _Er... thanks Taylor_." He said unsure, scratching the back of his head.

" _So, consider all that stuff between us in the past, okay? If you're ever in the neighborhood, feel free to stop by the bakery_."

" _So no more dirty looks then?_ "

" _Well... as long as you buy a "couple's package" for the two of you love birds_." Taylor said with a sly smile.

Alex took a step back as his face started to blush. " _S-She told you about that!?_ "

" _Oh my, you're turning red, almost as much as Onodera did when she told me. And to think, not only did the waitress mistake you two as a couple_ ,"

Alex turned his face away out of embarrassment. " _Oh no..._ "

" _But then you two played along with it!_ " Taylor burst out laughing. " _You even took her up on her offer and ordered the dessert! You sure know how to move fast on a first date, don't you?_ "

Alex placed his hand over his face. He knew it would be in vain to try to explain that both him and Onodera wanted to avoid embarrassing the waitress after everything that happened. Taylor was clearly having too much fun to listen.

' _If there was ever a time to hide under a rock, this would be it_.' Alex thought while walking back to the waiting room, Taylor laughing close behind him.

* * *

Several days had passed since Tim's trip to the hospital. Everything was mostly back to normal. Onodera was still working hard at the bakery with Taylor while Alex, now completely over his cold, got back to his repair work. The only thing that really changed was that he now could be found spending more of his time off at the bakery. Taylor seemed okay with him popping by now and then, and even started warming up to him... slightly.

Onodera meanwhile was happy to see that Alex was back to his usual self. It was also nice to see a friendly face at work more often, as she didn't know that many people in town. Eventually, Onodera even found herself visiting Alex's workshop from time to time.

She had the day off at the bakery, so she thought she'd stop by the music store and say hi to him. She also brought a bag of sweets from the bakery for him and his friends to share. It was a rather clear day out, which was a nice change of pace compared to the stormy weather they'd been having recently.

Now in front of the music store, she pushed open the front door which caused the bell to ring as she walked in. Strangely, she didn't see anyone there. There wasn't even anyone behind the counter, not a single soul in sight. She looked around a little wondering if something was wrong.

' _Alex told me they were going to be open today, so I know they're not closed. I wonder if Alex is here, maybe he'd know what's going on_.' Onodera thought, now heading towards Alex's work space.

She walked up to the door and started knocking on it.

" _Alex, are you there? It's me, Onodera_."

There was no response.

Onodera waited a moment, then raised her hand and was about to knock again before a voice called out from behind her.

" _If you're looking for Alex, he's out right now_."

The baker almost jumped out of her skin by the surprising voice behind her. She turned around to see that it was Alex's friend Jess, who walked out of the storage room. " _Oh! Jess. It's you_."

" _Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you_."

" _No, it's alright. But where is everybody? Is it just you here?_ "

Jess scratched the back of his head. " _Well sorta. Alex and Mark were here earlier, but Alex finished a repair and needed to deliver it. But it's quite a ways away, so Mark was going to drive him there_."

" _Oh... I see. Do you know when they might be back?_ "

Jess shook his head. " _Not exactly_."

Onodera pondered what she should do next. She could just leave the baked goods at the store and come back another day, however she was kind of wanting to give them to Alex in person. She could also wait for them to get back, but she didn't have any idea how long that could take. As she was puzzled to which path she should take, Jess started to speak up.

" _Ahem. If you're waiting for him to come back, you can wait for him in his workshop_."

Onodera was surprised by his offer. " _Are you sure that's okay? I don't want to come off too forward_."

He shrugged. " _I'm sure he won't mind as long as you don't break or touch anything_."

There was a short moment of silence before Jess spoke again. " _I was actually about to get me some coffee. You want any?_ "

" _Oh... sure. That is if you have decaf_."

Jess smiled " _Lucky for you my girlfriend drinks decaf_."

Back a little ways in the store was an old kitchen that was being used for storage. The only appliance they had was a coffee maker, which Onodera could tell had been used a good number of times judging by the looks of it.

" _You know, I feel kind of bad that we haven't talked that much_." Jess said while preparing the coffee maker. " _Especially since you and Alex seem to get along so well. To be honest, I was surprised to hear that you and Alex were friends_."

Onodera took a seat at the table. " _What do you mean?_ "

Jess paused before turning to Onodera. " _Well... he hasn't been that open with people recently, especially around women. At least not since-_ " Jess stopped realizing he may have said too much. " _N-never mind_." He said turning his attention back to finishing preparing the coffee.

" _Since what?_ " Onodera asked, though she had an idea what he was thinking.

" _Nah... it's nothing, don't worry about it_."

" _Not since... Sophia left...?_ " Onodera asked nervously.

Jess froze on the spot. He then took a deep breath before turning back to Onodera. " _So he told you about "her"... I guess he really does like you to tell you about that. I'll assume that means he told you about his mother as well_."

" _Yes he did, it... came up once in a conversation_." Onodera watched her words, remembering that Jess probably didn't know about Alex's depression and his scars. " _Understandably, it seems to still trouble him greatly_."

" _Not surprising. Ever since that happened he hasn't been the same_."

" _You mean Alex used to act differently than he does now?_ " Onodera asked, curious as to what he meant.

" _Yeah, sorta. He used to be a joker back in high school. He was the guy who was always smiling, or telling some cheesy joke, trying to get a laugh_."

' _Hmm... the way he describes Alex makes him sound a little like Maiko-kun from back in the day_.' Onodera shuddered a little, imagining Alex with all of Shu's personality. ' _W-Well... maybe not exactly the same. Alex seems more... restrained in his affection towards women_.' Onodera thought to herself.

" _That's how I knew him anyway. To most people though, he was the quiet guy who sat at the back. Actually looking back, it was kind of funny to see someone like Alex hanging around Sophia of all people_."

Onodera started fidgeting with her hands a little. " _Um, wh-what was she like? Sophia, I mean_."

" _She was... complicated. To her friends she was a very caring woman, if not a little snarky at times. To everyone else though, they saw her as a loose cannon, looking to punch someone's teeth in_."

" _Really? Alex never mentioned anything like that_."

" _Well, Alex did know her long before she started getting a bad reputation at school, so he probably wouldn't view her that way. Alex did tell me once that she didn't used to be so violent, but some family problems started making her more and more angry during high school. She was in need of an outlet, and it turns out punching things suited her just fine_."

Onodera sat back in her seat. She abhorred violence, she always had. Even as a kid she hated the idea of others getting hurt. She couldn't even imagine why anyone would want to purposely cause someone harm. But then again, she still didn't quite understand why Alex used to hurt himself either.

' _Everyone seems to deal with pain or frustration differently, it seems..._ ' She thought.

" _But don't take that the wrong way, it wasn't like she just beat up anyone and everyone she saw. She mostly only resorted to violence when someone was picking a fight with her, or when bullies were getting on her nerves. I'm happy to say I was never in any of those categories_." Jess thought for a moment. " _Well... there was one other thing that really ticked her off_."

" _And that was?_ "

" _People giving Alex a hard time. I saw that one first hand_." Jess started heading down memory lane. " _It left a pretty big impression on everyone back in the day, it was back in my first day of high school. Me and a lot of my friends growing up were excited about the first day. We were a little scared, but we were mostly happy that we were all still together. But then as we turned down a hallway, we saw a jock yelling at a freshman with a bloody nose_."

* * *

-Flashback-

" _What's your problem dude, you looking for trouble!?_ " The blonde-haired jock barked while gripping the young student by the collar of his shirt.

" _No, I wasn't. But that doesn't mean I'm going to turn tail and run when it finds me_." Alex said looking him dead in the eye.

Jess ran up to the two fighting, trying to calm them down. " _Hey, hey, come on guys, Break it up!_ " The jock let go of Alex's shirt as Jess got in between them. " _Come on, it's the first day of school. Can't we end this without a brawl?_ "

" _Shut up and tell that to him, he's the one who started it. Besides, it wouldn't be much of a brawl to beat this twerp into paste_." Davis said in frustration.

Alex looked at him in disgust. " _Sure, disrespecting women, and then beating up guys half your size. Really shows how much of a man you are_."

He barely finished speaking before he regretted what he said. In a split second, all he could see was a fist in his face.

Davis threw a punch at him, which knocked him against the lockers behind him. The ruckus caught the attention of nearby students, now looking down the hallway in curiosity.

Jess tried keeping Davis back before he could cause any more damage to his fellow freshman. " _Hey that's enough, back off!_ "

" _Big talk for a twig!_ " Davis mocked. " _How about you try looking in the mirror before you pick your fights you little-_ "

The sound of running footsteps echoed through the hallway behind Jess and Davis, until a young woman suddenly grabbed the jock by his coat, pulling him away from Jess. Before anyone could react, she nailed him with a punch square in the nose, throwing him down on the floor. The crowd looked in shock at the quick turn of events.

The girl with dark violet colored hair quickly ran to Alex, who was sitting against a locker. " _Jeez Alex, it's only been three hours and you already need me to pull your butt out of the fire. You were trying to play hero again, weren't you?_ " The woman said, kneeling beside him.

" _Sorry Sophia..._ "

She took a closer look and saw that Alex had a forming black eye. " _Does it hurt? Here, let me see_."

Jess stepped beside her to see how he was doing. " _That doesn't look good. He should go see the nurse_."

" _H-him?! What about me!?_ " Davis yelled on the floor.

" _You should shut up and be grateful that I only broke your nose_." The woman said in a hateful tone.

She then stood up and turned her attention to the crowd. " _Let me make this clear to everybody. This man here, Alex Richards, he's with me. If anyone messes with him again, they're going to answer to me. Got it!_ "

* * *

-Present Day-

" _After all that, I ended up hanging out with Alex, and by extension Sophia, until we eventually became friends. She actually got called into the principal's office that day, and was almost suspended_."

Onodera looked at him in confusion. " _She was? What about what happened to Alex?!_ "

" _Yeah, that's what she told them. You could hear her clear across the school by how loud she was yelling. She was enraged that they were trying to shift the blame on to her while Alex was bleeding in the nurse's office from an incident that shouldn't have ever happened on the school's watch_." Jess explained.

" _Well, she sounds... pretty interesting_."

Jess laughed. " _She's certainly been called worst. The next day everyone was telling jokes about what happened. 'One of the school's hockey team members got beat up by a girl yesterday, I guess we aren't going too far in any tournaments coming up' they said. At least until they found out that it was 'the beast Sophia' that hit him. No one said anything after that_."

Onodera felt somewhat perplexed about how to feel about Sophia. On one hand, she was an old friend of Alex's, and a very caring and protective person. But on the other hand, she sounded pretty violent. Sure, Chitoge and Tsugumi could have been rough at times, but even they didn't have a reputation on this level.

" _There's one thing I was wondering about in your story. Alex said something about being half the size of the jock, right? What exactly did he mean by that?_ "

" _Oh that. You probably couldn't tell since he's always wearing that coat of his, but Alex has a fairly small body build. I think he got it from his mother's side. That coat hides it pretty well actually. I wouldn't be surprised if that's why he wears it so often_."

"..." Onodera had nothing to add, knowing that anything she brought up would lead into Alex's depression.

" _That may have also been why Sophia wanted to teach Alex how to protect himself, a little self-defense, if you will. To make sure no one hurts him like that again_." Jess paused " _A bit ironic that she ended up hurting him far worse than any punch could have_."

Onodera frowned. " _Right... when she left, it was at..._ "

" _The worst possible time_." Jess said bluntly. " _I was there the day she left, and I have to say, she's a real piece of work_." His voice started to raise thinking back on that day.

" _I got a call from Alex telling me that his mother had been in the hospital for the last couple of days. I told him I was coming and asked if he needed anything. He only asked for one thing, he said he's been calling Sophia trying to get ahold of her, so he wanted me to check on Sophia before I left. Can you believe that? His mother is on a sickbed, all his family is hurting, and now he's worried if she's alright on top of that?_ "

Onodera sighed. Every time she heard this story it seemed to have gotten worse, making each time a little harder to hear.

" _When I drove up to her house however, I saw her packing her things into a taxi down by the street. She was... furious. I've seen her mad before, but this was something else, it was written all over her face. I ran up to her trying to figure out what was going on, but she only told me that 'she was done' and that 'it was time to move on.' I tried reasoning with her, but she wouldn't listen. Finally I snapped and started yelling at her. 'How could you leave like this, what about your friends, your family?_ "

" _She didn't even look my way when she yelled, 'There's nothing here worth coming back for!_ '"

" _That's when I had to ask, 'What about Alex, you heard about his mother, didn't you? They... don't think she's going to make it...' I said. And do you know what she said to me? She stopped, looked me in the eye and said 'I gave him his chance to come with me, and he didn't move to take it.' She then opened the taxi door and said one more thing to me before she left. 'Like I told you, there's NOTHING here worth coming back for.' Her voice was full of disgust and hatred. After that she got in the taxi and slammed the door so hard she cracked the window. When they drove off, that would be the last time I saw her_."

The room then fell completely silent. Onodera couldn't do anything but sit in her seat, shocked to hear what Alex's "friend" had to say about him. " _T-That's horrible... how could she say that...?_ "

" _I don't know, I've given up on trying to understand her. Like I said, she's complicated_."

" _Does... Alex know she feels that way?_ "

" _No, I haven't really told him yet. It was hard enough for him to hear she left. Plus, I'm certainly not going to be her black hearted messenger. If she wants Alex to know how she feels, she can tell him herself. Besides, he already has a good idea how she feels. He told me when he finished that old cuckoo clock of hers that she wasn't coming back_."

" _Yet he still finished it knowing that?_ "

It again got very quiet, as both Onodera and Jess started feeling awkward at their long discussion.

Jess scratched at his cheek. " _Sorry, I didn't mean to get so wrapped up in the past there_."

" _T-That's fine. It's good to get things off your chest sometimes. Plus, I think I'm starting to understand Alex a little better_."

" _I don't really know why, but for some reason when I look at you... it reminds me of her_."

" _Why's that?_ " Onodera asked.

" _I'm not sure. You two hardly resemble each other, both in appearance and personality_."

Jess then pondered to himself. ' _Maybe it isn't her so much, as Alex. The way he looks at Miss Onodera, it's almost how he... Nah, I'm not going to worry about that. Alex's love life isn't my business_.' He thought.

Onodera thought for a moment before speaking up again. " _Um, by the way, can I ask you one more thing?_ "

" _Sure, shoot_."

" _Is the coffee ready yet?_ " Onodera asked with a bit of an awkward smile.

" _Oh, right_." Jess then turned to get their drinks, feeling embarrassed that he had forgotten about them. " _Just one minute_." He added.

In the distance however, a vehicle could be heard pulling up to the store.

Outside, Alex stepped out of Mark's car. " _Thanks for the ride Mark, that saved me a lot of time_." Alex commented.

Mark followed behind him. " _Sure thing, don't mention it. I'm actually more interested on that stop we made on the way back here. Since when did you start having a thing for jewelry?_ "

" _Shh... could you keep it down. I don't really want to announce to everyone what I bought_."

" _Ooooh, it's a secret then. Like a gift for that lady friend of yours?_ "

" _Mark!? What are you_ -"

Mark laughed. " _Hey you don't have to worry about me, my lips are sealed_." He said walking on ahead.

Alex sighed and waited a minute until Mark was in the store, then he pulled out a small box from his coat pocket. He took a deep breath as he opened it, looking at the key shaped necklace inside.

' _Kosaki... I don't know what happened to your old necklace, but... maybe a new one would cheer you up_.' Alex hopefully wished.

' _But I wonder... would you be okay wearing a gift if it came from me?_ ' Alex shook his head. ' _Calm down Alex. It's not like I'm confessing my love to her or anything, it's just a present. So there's no need to_ -' Alex then paused. ' _Wait, did I just say love?_ '

He froze up on the spot. His emotions had been all over the place for the past two years, but for just a moment, everything seemed clear. He'd been pushing his feelings aside whenever he thought about Onodera, for fear that whatever feeling he had for her my have been fabricated in his depressed state. But when he just thought about it... about her... it seemed so clear.

' _D-Do I... love Kosaki? Truly?_ ' That all too important question finally had his full attention.

...for about three seconds.

While lost in thought, the store's back door suddenly opened, causing Alex to panic as he rushed to put the necklace back in his pocket. He looked to see who came through the door to find Onodera of all people.

" _Kos- I mean. Onodera?_ " Alex found himself face to face with the woman of his infatuation.

" _Hello Alex. Yes, it's me_."

Alex felt his nerves getting the best of him as he tried keeping his cool. " _I-It's nice to see you, but what are you doing all the way out here?_ "

" _We had some extra sweets from the bakery, so I thought I'd stop by and see if you and everyone else would want some_."

" _Really? That's very generous. Thank you_." Alex said with a smile.

" _Jess told me you were making a delivery, right? Umm... I was just wondering... What were you going to be doing now?_ "

Alex was surprised by Onodera's question. " _Oh, I-I'm not sure... probably just fixing a few more orders. Uh, why do you ask?_ "

" _Well... I-I... Would it... be alright if I stayed with you for a bit? I haven't actually seen you work before, besides that time you had your head in an oven_."

" _Uh, y-yeah sure. That's fine with me_." Alex said a bit caught off guard by Onodera's request. " _W-well this way then_." He led her back towards the music store.

As they were walking inside, Onodera found herself looking at Alex's eyes. She noticed that Alex had an old faded bruise under his right eye. One that was easy to mistake for a dark circle if you didn't know it was there.

Alex noticed that she was staring at him. " _I-Is everything alright? Is there something on my face?_ "

Onodera gave a soft smile. " _Yeah, I was just getting a good look at you_."

Alex wouldn't quite understand what Onodera actually meant by that. It was her little secret.

* * *

 **Author's Notes:** This chapter was interesting to write since it mostly dealt with Alex and Sophia's relationships, despite the fact that neither of them have much screen time in the second half.

Sophia shows both her caring and cold feeling towards Alex. Sophia does love Alex, but she let's her own problems blind her to everyone around her. In short, she was gone no matter what. Alex's mother being in the hospital was just at the worse timing possible.

One part of dialogue from Alex's depression was written by thatguywhowrote, it's my way of saying thanks for all his help. With the last couple of chapters being a bit of a mess for me to write, I was trying to figure out where it would fit the best. Luckily this one worked fine.


	12. Coming storm

Sweet Love

by Tr-8r810

 **Disclaimer** : I don't own anything related to Nisekoi. This story is strictly for entertainment purposes and not for profit.

 **Nisekoi spoilers!** This story has spoilers of the ending of Nisekoi.

 **Depression** is a sensitive subject to some people. I by no means want to make light of this touchy subject. Even more, I wouldn't want to trigger anyone into a depression episode. Please read with care.

Special thanks to **thatguywhowrote** for taking the time to be a beta reader for this story.

* * *

A number of cars were roaring down the freeway in the overcast weather. There were hundreds of people all driving down the same road, working to get to their destinations. One such car was a taxi driving a young woman from the airport. The passenger was on her cellphone, talking to whom the taxi driver assumed to be her mother.

" _Sorry I wasn't there to pick you up from the airport honey. Before I knew it, I had another load of work that needed to be taken care of_." Her mother said over the phone.

" _Don't be. I'm just glad to be with you in the states again_." She said. " _We'll be meeting up later tonight, right?_ "

Her mother continued. " _I'm going to be rather busy until this evening, so yes. If you want to just go to the hotel and relax for a bit, that's fine_."

" _That actually doesn't sound too bad. I might just take you up on that offer_."

" _Well, I need to get back to work. I'll see you later tonight_."

" _Right, until then. Bye Mom_." She then hung up.

The taxi driver turned his attention to his client, now that she was finished with her call. " _So it looks like your destination is about another 40 miles, give or take_." He said.

She nodded. " _Alright, thank you. It'll be nice to get a little rest after the long flight_." She then noticed a sign that had the upcoming cities on it. One town in particular caught her attention. " _Wait... Did that just say "Santa Marcus" is coming up in the next five miles?_ "

" _Uh, yeah. I guess that sounds about right. Why do you ask?_ "

She started looking through her phone's contacts, knowing she had seen the name before. " _There it is, I knew it_." She then spoke to the driver. " _L-Listen, I want to make a stop on the way to the hotel_."

" _A-Alright, sure. Where is it?_ " He asked.

She paused. " _Do you happen to know of any bakeries in Santa Marcus?_ "

* * *

Thick clouds filled the sky on this quiet morning, almost as if it would rain. However, Alex didn't pay that much attention to the weather. He was focused on how he was going to give Onodera her gift.

He had been carrying her present in his backpack for the last week, waiting for the right time to give it to her. Preferably when Taylor or Jess weren't around, as he could almost already hear them laughing at him if they saw it.

He shook his head remembering what his reason for it was - to help Onodera feel better. Her opinion was the only one that mattered.

' _I'll see if Kosaki would want to eat lunch together today. Maybe I could give it to her then_.' He thought.

Though they've eaten lunch together before, it felt uncomfortable to ask her out of the blue like this. Perhaps it was because of his new found feelings for her that put him on the edge. Alex hadn't had a crush on anyone for quite some time now, and honestly he's never been the best when it came to dealing with feelings like these.

But he was willing to try.

Now out of the overcast weather, he worked his way through the mall towards the bakery. When he got there, he immediately noticed Onodera sitting behind the counter at the bakery. She noticed his presence and waved with a weak smile.

" _Nice to see you again Alex. What brings you here today?_ " She asked.

" _Just dropping by to say hi. The weather's pretty gloomy outside, so it wouldn't hurt to stay indoors today. How are things doing here, same as usual?_ "

" _Well..._ " Onodera was cut off by a loud crash coming from the kitchen, which made her flinch. The ruckus was then followed by Taylor yelling from the back.

" _What's wrong with her?_ " Alex asked, looking over Onodera's shoulder at the kitchen to take a peek at what was happening.

" _She... hasn't been in the best mood this morning_." Onodera sighed. She motioned Alex to scoot over a little closer so she could whisper. " _Apparently something happened between her and Tim. Something about a girl at his school being behind what happened to his arm_." She whispered.

Alex placed his palm against his face. ' _Ugh... I tried warning him before that something like this would happen_." He thought to himself.

" _Taylor found out last night and she's been upset all morning. It's been scaring away a number of customers as well_."

" _Well... we sure can't have that_." Alex said, adjusting his coat as he started walking towards the back.

" _W-wait Alex, what are you doing!?_ "

" _This isn't good for you or the store. I'll see if I can calm her down a little, if not at the very least talk some sense into her_."

" _A-Alex you m-may want to be careful. Taylor can be a little... difficult when she gets like this_." She warned. He looked to Onodera's direction as he stood at the doorway to the kitchen.

" _Oh come now, how bad could she be?_ " After he said that, a cooking pan suddenly flew out of the kitchen and hit against Alex's head, knocking him down to the ground.

" _A-Alex!_ " Onodera cried out in shock, rushing to his side. Losing his bearings, he placed his hand against his head as the room felt like it was spinning.

" _I-I'm okay... just gotta watch out for flying pans in the future, I guess_."

" _Here, let me see_." She sat down next to him and gently pulled his hand away to get a better look. Alex had a bruise forming right on his forehead, but also seemed to have cut the skin as he started bleeding.

" _You have a little wound here_." She informed him. " _Hold on, I'll be right back_."

She quickly got up and ran back to the kitchen. A moment later Onodera was back with her purse.

" _I know I put it in here somewhere..._ " She said, rummaging through her belongings before her eyes found what she needed. " _Ah, here it is! This may not be a perfect fix, but it should stop the bleeding at least._ " She produced a bandage roll and was about to put it on him when she felt a jolt as Alex's hand gently grabbed her arm to stop her.

" _Onodera... it's fine. I can clean up a little cut like this myself. You don't need to use your own supplies on me..._ " Alex muttered with a low voice.

" _Alex..._ " The true feelings behind his words were all too apparent to her. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. " _But that's what I bought them for, I want to help take care of those who are important to me_." She said in a warm, loving tone. " _So, will you let me?_ "

Alex felt as if his heart had melted upon hearing her ask that. He couldn't dare oppose her request now. " _A-Alright then_."

She smiled and continued to unravel the bandage, then began wrapping it around his head.

Alex meanwhile was feeling rather flustered, as Onodera was sitting a lot closer to him than she ever had before. On top of that, her hands would occasionally move through his hair or graze his ear as she did, something he used to find relaxing as a child.

Had Alex been a more forward person he would've embraced her with a hug right then and there. And it wasn't just because of his romantic feelings towards her, but because she was also a dear friend to him, one that he truly enjoyed the company of.

But Alex wasn't made that way, and he couldn't just suddenly let his feelings cloud his judgment.

' _If I did that, I'd probably freak Kosaki out. And we can't have that..._ ' He thought to himself.

In an attempt to calm his excitement, he instead tried speaking with Onodera.

" _So, do you always carry bandages with you?_ "

" _Sorta... A-A long while ago I started carrying them on me in case someone got hurt. But over the years it started becoming a habit_."

" _Well, it surely isn't a bad habit to have_."

Onodera smiled at his remark. " _There, I just about got it. I just need something to cut the bandage off the roll. Now where did I-_ "

Alex suddenly spoke up. " _Oh, umm actually I have something you can use_." He pulled over his backpack, taking out a pair of scissors from within and handing it to her. " _Here, try these._ "

" _Thank you_." Upon taking the protective case off, she found that the blades were quite dull. They could however still cut through the bandages at least. " _There, how's that?_ "

" _Great... t-thanks_." He paused for a moment, feeling kind of embarrassed about what he was going to ask her. " _So Onodera, do you, uhh... have any plans for lunch today?_ "

"Well no, not really. W-Why do you ask?"

" _I-I was just wondering if... if you weren't busy, then maybe we could eat lunch together. I-If you want to, that is_." Alex said as a blush spread across his face.

" _Oh..._ " Onodera was surprised that he was so frank on asking her out to eat. But then again, she couldn't say that was a bad thing, so she smiled and nodded at the offer. " _Sure, that sounds great._ " She stood up and held her hand out. " _Need help getting up?_ "

" _Thank you_." He took her hand and got back onto his feet. " _But before we start worrying about lunch, there's still one other thing to deal with_." Alex stated, looking back at the kitchen.

" _Do you want me to help you with Taylor? It might be better if we both talk to her_." Said Onodera.

" _If you want. Just... watch your head, okay?_ "

* * *

Some time had passed before they managed to calm Taylor down, at least enough so she would stop throwing kitchenware at people. Alex had suggested that she unwind with a game of Chess, to which he also offered to be her opponent. Since it was looking like a slow day for the bakery, she had agreed.

Onodera meanwhile watched the two of them play from behind the counter. She had seen the siblings play a number of times at the store, so she understood the basics of how the game worked. What interested her was to see how their game would go with Alex playing, since every game she's seen so far, Taylor always ended up winning.

As the game started, Taylor's play style seemed to be the same as she usually played defensive. Alex on the other hand... wasn't making a lot of sense. He wasn't playing overly aggressive, nor did his defense stand out, he mostly just rearranged his forces on the board. Taylor didn't really know how to approach his bizarre strategy quite yet, so she stayed on the defense to watch and wait.

She moved a piece, but then took a sigh of frustration thinking about her brother again.

" _I still don't understand why that idiot would do something so stupid just to get a girl's attention_." Taylor remarked as she crossed her arms.

" _Don't look at me, I can barely even stand on those skateboards_." Said Alex as he took his turn. " _But honestly, I don't find it that surprising that it was because of a woman. If anything, it makes more sense_."

" _And what's that supposed to mean?_ " Taylor's voice was a mixture of curiosity and irritation as she raised an eyebrow at his comment.

" _Well... over the years I've been noticing a continuous truth about human nature, that a man's weakness is a woman_."

" _So what, you're saying that women are the cause of man's shortcomings?_ "

" _Don't misinterpret my words. When I say weakness, I mean that a woman someone loves has the greatest effect on that person's heart. They'll do things they never would have dreamt of doing if not for that love, for good or bad. Even the strongest of men would succumb to the love of a woman. You can see this in everything from works of fiction, to biblical tales or even in historical accounts_."

" _So you're saying that Tim was just acting stupid because he had the hots for someone? I'm sorry, but there's no reason to do something like that just to get noticed_."

" _You know what, you're right. There is no reason for that. But that's what love's about, it doesn't always have to make sense to everyone. I'm not saying what he did was right, but at least she'll know he put his heart in it. Looking back, haven't you ever done something you thought was stupid for someone you liked?_ "

Taylor didn't respond, but the mild look of embarrassment on her face as she turned her head away was as good as a 'yes'.

Alex smirked to himself. " _Well, if you're still having a hard time getting what I mean, I do have an example I could tell you. It may be a little old fashioned though_."

" _And what's that?_ " She asked while finishing her turn.

" _It goes like this_." He grabbed the Queen and moved it clear across the board and in front of Taylor's King. " _Checkmate_." Alex remarked, calling the game over.

" _Wait- What the?!_ " Taylor studied the map to find that it was indeed a checkmate.

" _I give you, the Queen of Chess. The most powerful unit of the game, and the biggest threat to the King_." Alex added, pushing his point.

Onodera walked over, surprised by the outcome of the game. " _Wow. How did you do that Alex?_ "

" _Yeah... I was wondering that too. Maybe it was because I wasn't completely focused on the game, but to miss something so obvious as the Queen..._ " Taylor said with her eyes fixed on the board, trying to figure out what just happened.

" _It wasn't that obvious_ ," Alex corrected her. " _You just fell for my front_."

" _What front? You were just moving your pieces back and forth_." Said Taylor.

" _Well, you did start making an attack when I opened my defense for you on the left side_."

Suddenly, the true nature of Alex's play style quickly became clear to Taylor. " _Oh... I see. You were playing me_."

" _Sometimes that's the only way to win. Taking your defense on head first would just be stupid. So yeah, I did. I showed you what you would've wanted to see, a weak point to attack. It may cost me a lot in the moment, but in the long run, as long as you don't know what I'm really thinking, I'm in control_."

Taylor finished her review of the game. " _And all you needed was for me to move my Bishop. I have to say, I'm impressed. Where did you learn a strategy like that from?_ "

Onodera was stunned to actually hear Taylor complement Alex, in defeat no less.

" _I learned it from a video game once, one not too different from Chess_." Said Alex.

" _Hmm, I see..._ " Taylor's glance hadn't left the board. " _Well, I guess that's it for this game. Perhaps... we could play again sometime?_ " Taylor asked with a hint of excitement in her voice. Alex smiled back.

" _Sure, fine by me. But just remember that I won't ever go easy on you_."

" _Don't worry, I won't need a handicap. Next time you're going down_." She said with a confident grin. She then noticed a customer walking in the store and quickly composed herself. " _Looks like it's back to work for me. Until next time then_."

As Onodera went beside him while they both watched her walk away, Alex then spoke up. " _You know, that girl threw a pan at me, then called her brother every name in the book, had a calming game of Chess with me, then finally went back to work again - all in about 20 minutes. Her inconsistency scares me_."

" _Well, she's certainly one of a kind_." She added.

Alex suddenly felt a vibration in his coat pocket. He pulled out his phone to find he had received a text message, quickly opening it to see what was up. " _Oh jeez_."

" _Is something wrong?_ " Onodera asked seeing the hints of frustration in his face.

" _No, someone just wants me to come back to the store right away and look at a repair job_."

" _H-how long do you suppose that will take?_ " She asked, fidgeting a little.

" _Hard to say, hopefully not too long. I'll see if I can make it quick. A-Are you still up for going out for lunch if I can make it back in time?_ "

" _S-Sure. Just don't rush yourself on my account. I would hate it if you got yourself hurt because of me_."

" _Don't worry, I'll be fine_." He reassured, picking up his backpack. " _See ya later_."

Onodera waved back with a smile as he left. When he was out of sight she stopped and placed a hand onto her chest as she started feeling anxious.

But not in a bad way, rather it was out of excitement at the idea of spending time with him again.

Meanwhile Alex had started his long walk back to the music store and along the way he couldn't help but smile while thinking about giving Onodera her gift.

' _I'll have to think of how to give it to her. I can't just drop it on her and say "here you go." I-I want her to know it's because I value her friendship. Because she's been there to help me in this difficult time, and because... I really l-lov-_ '

Alex cut himself off. ' _"Like" her. That I like her. That's what I'm going to have to settle for right now. Let's not get ahead of myself_.'

He made his way to an open area within the heart of the mall. A great number of people were always passing through this section of the building, what with all the big name shops located aroud. Alex didn't usually pass through this part, but since he was in a rush he decided to take a shortcut.

He managed to slip into the large crowd of people as he worked to get to the other side. There wasn't much room to move as he walked, and people were always bumping into each other as they passed one another. Alex just took his time getting to the other side, but he'd be lying if he said it wasn't testing his patience.

He then saw the exit door he was looking for, however there was still a number of people in between him and his destination. He tried to quickly and politely move past them, until he made one last step out of the crowd. However when he did, he accidentally bumped into someone and knocked their phone out of their hands.

" _Hey, watch where you're going, would ya!_ " She called out.

Alex, realizing his mistake, started to apologize. " _Oops, sorry about-_ " He was stopped when he got a good look at the young woman he had walked into.

The young woman's skin was a pale tone, while her eyes were an aqua blue color, like the ocean. She had long blonde hair that fell to her waist with a pink ombre at the end. Despite her youthful appearance, her dress looked rather formal as if she was on some form of business.

" _Hey, what's wrong with you, cat got your tongue?_ " She asked with her hands on her hips.

" _It's nothing. Sorry about bumping into you_." Alex said while picking up her phone. " _This is yours, right?_ "

" _Yeah_." When she took it from his hand, Alex noticed she had a wedding ring on her left hand. " _It's pretty busy around here, everyone seems to be going in every direction at once_." She added.

" _It usually isn't this bad around here this time of the year. I guess it's just a bad day_."

The woman's eyes perked up. " _Oh, so you live here in town then? Hey, can you help me with something then? I need some directions_."

" _Uh, sure. If I can, that is. What are you looking for?_ "

" _I heard about this one bakery that's supposed to be in this town I wanted to see. But my phone can't find the address_."

Alex almost laughed hearing such an easy question for him to answer. " _Well, if it's in this mall, then there's only one place it would be. It's just east of here, that's probably the bakery you're looking for_."

" _Wow, really? Thanks_." The woman said as she went on her way.

Alex took a moment as he noticed the red ribbon in her hair as she walked away.

' _A bunny ribbon, huh? You don't see that style everyday..._ ' He thought to himself before heading towards the exit.

* * *

Meanwhile back at the bakery, Taylor was helping a customer check out while Onodera was busy in the kitchen. The young blonde managed to find her way to the store, thanks to Alex's directions. Seeing that the cashier was busy, she decided to look around a little. She searched around the store as if she were trying to find something, or someone to be exact.

Finally she stopped in front of a cake on display and noticed a familiarity about its design. Upon taking a closer look she recognized the cake's style is of one she's seen before.

Taylor, now finished with the other customer, walked up beside her. " _Hello ma'am, may I get anything for you today, or are you just looking around?_ "

She smiled back at Taylor. " _Actually, I was wondering if a certain "Onodera Kosaki" works here. This looks like her work_."

She was surprised at her statement and took a step back. " _Uh... yeah. She works here. How did you-_ "

She was then cut off by a loud gasp from across the room, followed by the noise of a steel bowl hitting the floor. It was Onodera who had just stepped out of the kitchen, her hands covering her mouth in shock.

" _C-Chitoge-chan, I-i-is that you?!_ "

Chitoge nodded with a big smile as she ran up to Onodera. She only met her half way, as Onodera had rushed over to her as well. They reached each other and locked in a warm hug, both started laughing.

 _"I can't believe it's really you!_ " Said Onodera with her arms around her old friend. " _It feels like it's been forever_."

"Same here. It's been far too long."

The young baker pulled away for a moment and noticed that she was covered in flour. She then saw that she had gotten some of it on Chitoge's dress. "Oh no, your dress. I forgot to-"

" _Are you kidding? If it means I could see you again, you can go ahead and throw the whole bag at me_."

Onodera couldn't help but smile hearing that she missed her so much. However, Taylor seemed confused from the quickly moving situation. " _Oh, right. Taylor this is an old friend of mine from back in high school, Ichijō Chitoge. And Chitoge-chan this is my boss, Taylor Thomas_."

 _"So you're Onodera's friend she keeps telling me about. It's a pleasure to meet you Chitoge." She said while pulling out her hand. "Oh wait, would you prefer Mrs. Ichijō?_ "

She shook Taylor's hand. _"No, no. Chitoge is just fine_."

Onodera spoke up again. " _But Chitoge-chan, what are you even doing here of all places?_ "

" _I'm taking a holiday with my mother. I'm meeting her in the next town over later tonight. But I remember hearing that you were working at the bakery here, so I had to stop for a visit, even if it's a short one_."

Taylor thought for a moment. " _You know Onodera, seeing as it's a special occasion, you could start your lunch break early if you want_."

" _What? Are you sure, what about the store?_ "

" _It's a slow enough day, I can take care of it myself. Besides this way you two can spend a girls' day together. You know, see the town, do some catching up with each other. All that fun stuff_."

" _T-Thank you Taylor_." Onodera said as she wiped a tear out of her eye. " _Chitoge-chan, would that work for you?_ "

" _Of course. I don't need to be anywhere until later tonight_." She said with excitement.

" _Okay, I'll just freshen up real quick and then we can leave_."

Onodera made her way back through the kitchen and washed up. She took her apron off and placed it on a stool, noticing that on the counter laid a batch of sweets. It was full of rose shaped pastries she had been working on before Chitoge showed up. This jogged her memory back to Alex, and reminded her that she had made plans with him for lunch.

' _Oh no, I completely forgot about that. Alex was wanting to have lunch together today. W-what should I do? H-he asked first, and I'd agreed to it. But... Chitoge is only going to be in town for a little while, then who knows when we'll see each other again? Plus she seems excited to spend the day together, just... like the old days..._ '

Her head started to feel strange. She placed a hand against her forehead as she began feeling dizzy. ' _Whoa, w-where did that come from?_ ' She wondered.

She looked at the clock and knew that whatever she was going to do, she had to do it soon.

* * *

Across town

" _Here you go, good as new_." Alex said as he handed the customer his newly fixed game controller.

" _Thanks man. Boy, you sure got that done qui-_ "

Alex suddenly interrupted him. " _Yeah, I know. You can pay Jess the bill at the counter over there_." He said, pointing at him in the right direction. He then immediately grabbed his backpack and headed for the back door.

" _Oh... okay. T-thanks again_." The customer said, though Alex was already out of earshot.

As he rushed out the back door, he passed by Mark along the way.

" _Yo Alex, you're done already?_ "

" _Yes, it was a pretty easy fix. But more importantly, what happened to 'not calling me in on my off days unless it's an emergency'?_ " Alex asked in a frustrated tone.

" _But it was an emergency_ _._ " He said jokingly.

" _Needing to fix a controller to play a new game is hardly what I'd call an emergency_."

Alex then felt a vibration from his phone again. " _Hold on_." He pulled it out to see who was calling. His heart skipped a beat when he saw Onodera's name come up.

" _H-Hello?_ " His voice cracked upon answering.

" _Hi Alex... I-it's me, Onodera_." She spoke slowly.

" _H-Hey... Is, uh... everything okay? You sound kinda down_ ,"

"..." There was a few seconds of unnerving dead air.

" _O-Onodera?_ "

" _Alex... s-something kind of came up today, and... umm..._ " She hesitated. " _D-do you think we can maybe reschedule our lunch for another day?_ "

His mind started racing. It was surprising to hear that Onodera needed to cancel so suddenly after asking her that morning. However he shook off any negative thoughts for the moment, remembering that she was waiting for an answer. " _Y-yeah, sure. No problem_."

Onodera sighed. " _I'm sorry. I promise I'll explain everything later, I'm just in a bit of a rush at the moment_."

" _That's fine, don't worry about it right now_."

" _Thank you Alex. I'll... talk to you later then_." Onodera then hung up.

He sighed back before putting his phone away. Mark meanwhile noticed that Alex seemed down after the call. " _Hey, everything okay?_ "

" _Yeah, it's nothing..._ " He said as he turned to leave. " _I finished what you called me in for, so do me a favor and don't call me in for the rest of the day_."

Mark was about to reply, but Alex had already left the store's parking lot, clearly in a bad mood. It may have been best to just let him be.

As he walked on, his thoughts went back to Onodera, and how something seemed odd about her call.

Though he cared for her and trusted her, it still felt rather strange for her to need to cancel so suddenly. This made him wonder...

' _Could she possibly have made that up? Could have I made her feel uncomfortable for asking her to lunch this morning? I did kind of ask it out of nowhere_.'

He knew he was simply overthinking and that Onodera really just needed to take care of something so she had to call their plans off. But at the back of his mind, he kept hearing another voice.

 ** _'See? She doesn't need you. Like Sophia, she's better off without you. Stop fooling yourself.'_**

The voice lingered in his mind as a sinking feeling welled in his stomach, making him want to puke. He then tightly gripped his right arm, a force of habit whenever he felt anxious.

...or when he felt the urge to add a few lines onto his arm.

* * *

 **Author's Notes:** Chitoge makes her appearance in this chapter. She wasn't originally planned to show up in this story, but I found an opportunity to fit her in and ran with it. I like how it turned out. Apologies in advance to any Chitoge fans, she's not going to have that big of a role here. Her story arc was finished in the manga as far as I'm concerned.

I realize while working on this chapter that I made a mistake in the timeline of the series. I when back into the previous chapters and corrected the mistake, so that it takes place five years after Raku and Chitoge got together instead of two. (That was problematic)

Alex's words during his game of Chess with Taylor shows a bit of his mind set when in comes to hiding his depression. Alex only shows what he wants people to see of him. It may hurt to hide it from others, but as long as he's in control of who knows about his depression, that's good enough for him.

The climax of the story is well on it's way. What becomes of Onodera and Alex will have to wait to be seen.


	13. Broken hearted baker

Sweet Love

by Tr-8r810

 **Disclaimer** : I don't own anything related to Nisekoi. This story is strictly for entertainment purposes and not for profit.

 **Nisekoi spoilers!** This story has spoilers of the ending of Nisekoi.

 **Depression** is a sensitive subject to some people. I by no means want to make light of this touchy subject. Even more, I wouldn't want to trigger anyone into a depression episode. Please read with care.

Special thanks to **thatguywhowrote** for taking the time to be a beta reader for this story.

* * *

After spending several hours around town, Onodera and Chitoge went to a park for a walk. Gusts of wind blew against the trees, causing a number of leaves to fall around them.

" _It's hard to believe it's already been six months since we've last seen each other_." Chitoge said.

Onodera looked down as she was walking. " _Yeah. I feel kind of bad that I haven't kept in touch with everybody. Well besides my family and Ruri-chan_."

" _Hey, don't feel bad about that. It's just as much our responsibility as yours to stay connected. We've all just been busy recently_."

" _I know..._ " Onodera said as her voice started to hang low. " _It's just... it feels like it wasn't that long ago we were all still in high school. Sometimes... I miss the old days, when we used to all be together. I don't know... maybe I'm just homesick_."

" _Kosaki-chan..._ " Chitoge thought for a moment. " _H-have you thought much about when you'll be coming back?_ "

" _No, not too much. Why?_ "

" _Well, Miyamoto-san's wedding is only a few months away. If you wanted to... you would have enough time to arrange your affairs to move back to Japan when you come for the wedding_."

Onodera found herself caught off-guard by her suggestion. " _I-I... uh... I don't..._ "

" _I'm just saying it's something you could think about_."

" _W-Well, I appreciate the suggestion. However I don't think I could go back just yet. I came all this way to improve my baking, but I don't have much to show for it yet. I wouldn't want my parents to think this has all been a waste of time_."

" _Alright. But just know that I'll support whatever decision you choose. If it takes more time for you to see the results you're looking for, then so be it_." She said as she placed her hand on Onodera's shoulder. " _And if you ever need anything, don't be afraid to give me a call_."

" _Thank you Chitoge-chan_."

They continued walking along the path when they came across an old bench. Chitoge noticed it and turned towards Onodera.

" _Kosaki-chan, can we stop here for a moment? I... have something that needs to be said_." Her voice suddenly became more serious.

" _Oh, s-sure_."

Chitoge sat down on the bench while Onodera took a seat beside her. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. " _Kosaki-chan, it was really great to spend the day together again, just like the old days. But honestly I had another reason for meeting up with you today_." She said in a sad tone.

Onodera cleared her throat out of anxiety. " _D-Did something bad happen?_ "

Chitoge looked at Onodera with confusion for a moment, but then waved her hand dismissively. " _Oh, no no. It's nothing bad or anything like that. It's just... something I've been needing to say for a while now. I-I wanted to thank you. Thank you for everything you did last year_."

Onodera laughed nervously, relieved and somewhat embarrassed to hear what she wanted to speak about. " _Chitoge,_ " She said with a smile. " _You've thanked me enough already. You don't need to-_ "

" _No. This needs to be said_." Chitoge interrupted with a firm yet sincere voice. " _A-After everything that happened with you, me and Raku, the last thing I wanted was for there to be a rift between us. You and Miyamoto were the first friends I made in high school, I didn't want to ruin that..."_ She paused for a second. _"When we started planning the wedding, I-I wasn't sure whether or not if you were going to come. I-I was shocked when I heard that you asked- no, insisted to make our wedding cake. I doubt if I could do something like that had the roles been reversed_."

Onodera could clearly see how much this was bothering Chitoge, it was written all over her face.

" _Chitoge-chan... has this been troubling you all this time? If so, you mustn't let it worry you any longer_." Onodera said as she scooted over to hold Chitoge's hand to comfort her.

" _But Kosaki-chan, I..._ "

" _Listen. You weren't the only one who was worried about how our friendship was going to be affected from all of this. You were my friend in high school too, I didn't want things between us to change either. I... I wanted to make that clear at your wedding. I'll always be your friend Chitoge-chan, please never forget that_."

" _Kosaki-chan..._ " Chitoge embraced her into a tight hug. " _You really are one of the strongest people I know. Thank you. Thank you for being such a good friend!_ "

Onodera hugged her back, resting her head on Chitoge's shoulder. But beyond Chitoge's notice, she frowned at her comment. She then pulled away to talk with her again.

" _Do you feel any better?_ "

" _Yes, thanks for listening_." Chitoge said as she wiped away a tear.

Chitoge then noticed a light coming from her purse, probably from her cellphone. She pulled it out to see who who had was texted her.

" _Oh, it's my mother. She's probably wondering if I've checked into the hotel yet_." She sighed while staring at her phone. " _I wish I didn't have to leave yet, there's still so much stuff I want to talk about. But it's starting to get pretty late, and I still need to meet up with my mother_."

Onodera frowned feeling the same way. " _Perhaps... we could plan to spend some time when I come back home for the wedding?_ "

Chitoge looked up at the clouds. " _That would be nice... just like the old days_." She said as she stood up off the bench. " _Anyway, I better get going. Thanks for spending the day with me_."

" _Of course, it was fun_." Onodera got up and hugged her goodbye. " _You take care of yourself, alright?_ "

" _I will. And you too_." Chitoge said as they parted ways.

Onodera started walking back to town, when she remembered something. " _Oh, Chitoge-chan. When you get back home could you tell Ichi- I-I mean, everyone I said hi back home_."

" _Sure thing_." She waved with a smile as she went on her way.

' _I should probably head back to the bakery. I was out much longer than I was expecting_.' She thought as she walked away. _'It was nice to see Chitoge-Chan again, she seems to be doing well. Although... I'm surprised to hear that she's been worried about me since the wedding. I didn't think about it, but I guess after everything that happened there would be a question on whether or not I would've gone to the wedding_.' Her mind started wandering as she went down the path of trees.

' _Back then... I wanted to help in the wedding so much, on something. ANYTHING. They were my best friends... of course I wanted to get involved. But, everything about me and Chitoge-Chan both loving Ichijou-kun... I couldn't have gotten too involved, it would've started becoming awkward. But if I could do something like taking care of the wedding cake, that would just be fantastic_.'

She halted her pace along the trees. Onodera then hung her head low as she started to laugh to herself. ' _Yeah, that's what I thought, only later did I realize how hard that was going to be. I was so focused on becoming a baker after school, so much I actually started improving. I thought I could handle taking on their wedding cake... What a fool_.' Onodera found herself feeling the memories of last year weighing her down.

' _All that time and effort, just to make sure it was as close to perfection as possible. I put everything I had into it_.' Onodera started feeling the same dizzying headache from before again. ' _And... it was also my way of letting go. Letting go of any feelings I may have still felt for Ichijou-kun..._ ' She felt her heart beginning to race, causing her knees to shake.

' _She said I'm one of the strongest people she knew? If she knew how many nights I cried myself to sleep over the two of them getting together, she probably wouldn't think that of me._ '

The increasing anxiety made Onodera fell to her knees. She placed a hand to her neck as she started finding it difficult to breathe. " _I-I... no, it can't be..._ " She gasped trying to get some air into her lungs. " _N-not here, not now..._ " She said aloud. Her breathing had become erratic, she tried to take deep breaths to calm herself down.

But she was troubled by something far worse: the whole reason she came out all this way in the first place. She found herself once again suffering from her panic attacks. Shortly after finishing the wedding cake, Onodera found herself becoming increasingly emotionally unstable whenever she thought about Raku for too long. She had moved on from the love she once had for him, but as much as she hated to admit it, her heart still felt the sting of rejection.

Though she knew it was in vain, she tried holding back her tears at least until she could get somewhere a little more private. She got back onto her feet and walked behind an old oak tree where no one would see her. Tears started to stream down her cheeks out of her control, she couldn't avoid her feelings about Raku like she had tried to in the past at this point. She ran a hand through her hair as the stress and sorrow mixing within overwhelmed her.

" _P-Please... someone help..._ " A quiet plead escaped her lips. " _I... can't do this alone, please someone..._ "

Unlike last year, Onodera found herself having to manage her anxieties alone. She didn't have her parents, her sister or Ruri nearby to turn to for comfort. To make matters worse, the emotional stress she was experiencing was almost paralyzing to her, making the idea of moving from that spot almost laughable.

Amongst the vortex of emotions she was feeling, she reached for her purse and pulled out her cell phone. ' _I-I k-know I can't handle this by myself. T-Taylor was informed this might happen and was prepared for it_.' She thought as she pulled up her contacts from her phone. ' _I have to call her and-_ '

Onodera suddenly stopped as she was scrolling through the names on her contacts. She wasn't anywhere near Taylor's number. Yet... something caught her eye. She hesitated, thinking she was being unreasonable to even think about calling that number. But in a moment of weakness...

*Beep*

She pounded the call button on her phone.

Her hand trembled as she raised the phone up to her ear, not sure what had come over her. But at this point she didn't really care. She needed to see a friendly face now more than ever.

 **-Meanwhile-**

At the mall's parking structure Alex lied atop an old car's hood, crossing his legs as he stared blankly at the sky lost in thought. The cloud cover had gotten pretty heavy, looking like it could break into rain at any minute. He came back to clear his head from his troubling thoughts, but it didn't seem to distract him that much. He looked at his phone to check the time, seeing that it was getting close to evening.

' _I've wasted enough time already coming back here... I should head back home soon_.' He thought as he sat up.

He turned to the side of the car and hopped down, picking up his backpack which was leaning against one of the tires.

When he did, his phone started vibrating, letting him know he had a call. He pulled it out with a sigh, answering without looking at the contact information.

" _Hello..._ " he said unenthusiastically.

" _Hello, Alex? I-it's me..._ " A young woman responded in a nervous tone. He quickly realized it as Onodera's voice, however she sounded troubled.

" _Hey, Onodera. Is uhh... is everything okay?_ " He asked.

" _I-I, uhh... No, not really..._ " She said as her voice began to crack. " _I k-know I'm not in any position to ask this of you, since I cancelled our plans earlier... but... C-Could you meet me at Nathan Park... please?_ "

Caught off-guard Alex took a moment to respond. It was clear through her voice that she was crying. He didn't know what was wrong or what came over her, but just thinking of her tearful face brought a pain to his heart. He could not simply stand by knowing his friend was in such agony.

" _Sure. I'll be right there_." He answered.

" _R-really, you will? T-Thank you, Al-Alex_."

" _Just tell me where I can find you_."

" _Right... Okay, after you enter the park..._ "

Nathan Park was the largest park in the city, known for its beautiful environment and various plant life. However that beauty could not be seen today.

A light fog had rolled in town, covering most of the park as well. This in itself wasn't that much of a problem, but the cloud cover finally turned worse and started to rain. Few people would ever want to take a walk through a park in this condition, as was the case with most of the people that were exiting the park.

Amongst everyone who were leaving though, one person was running through the entrance, only with a coat protecting him from the weather.

" _Maybe it wasn't the smartest move to go running off into the rain without an umbrella_." Alex remarked as he followed the path Onodera had instructed him to go in order to find her.

Aside from making the ground harder to run in, the rain was hardly slowing him down. At one point he lost his footing and slid his knee in the mud. He quickly got back to his feet and continued running, his focus was more on Onodera than himself at the moment.

He passed an oak tree as he ran when he suddenly stopped. He turned around and saw a figure standing underneath its thick branches. It took him a moment to tell that it was Onodera's back facing him. Normally It was relieving to see her safe and sound, but that was hardly the case. Even being a few yards away Alex could feel the tension in the air, and it wasn't because of the fog.

He slowly walked under the tree, which was surprisingly dry amongst the rain, most likely thanks to its many branches. Alex stood behind her, trying to summon the courage to speak up.

He took a deep breath. " _Onodera..._ " He had said softly, trying not to startle her.

" _..._ " She didn't respond.

" _Onodera_." He raised his voice a little.

" _...y-you know, it's funny isn't it?_ " Onodera spoke up calmly, her back still turned to Alex. " _It's funny how much we worry ourselves over what other people think sometimes. We try to show the best side of ourselves off to people so that they'll like us, then we lie to them so they don't worry when we're hurt, we hide our true feelings when we're upset_." Onodera's voice started becoming more emotional as she spoke. " _We spend so much time thinking and worrying about them and how they feel, and what they are doing... They're out having the time of their lives_."

She slightly turned her head towards Alex, just enough to see him. Her face was covered in tears to the point she looked like she had stuck her head out in the rain. This sight struck through Alex's heart like a nail.

She continued. " _Have you ever felt that way, Alex?_ "

A strong silence filled the air. Not a sound besides the rain falling around them. Onodera waited for a reply.

Alex stepped towards her and gently took hold of her hand. Surprised, Onodera turned completely in front of him and looked him in the eye.

" _Only for about as long as I can remember..._ " He lamented.

At this Onodera's red bloodshot eyes filled with tears. She rushed at Alex and wrapped her arms around him as she cried.

The force of Onodera's hug not only knocked the wind out of Alex, but also knocked them both back against the tree. Alex was shocked by her forward actions. His mind was racing faster than he could think but he then heard a soft voice.

" _I'm sorry... but, please... don't leave... please... I..._ "

Alex's thoughts became clear. Whatever Onodera was going through wasn't of his concern. Right now, all she needed was a friend to lean on, a shoulder to cry against.

He slowly lifted his arms and returned Onodera's hug with one of his own. " _It's okay Onodera, I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere_."

Onodera tightened her arms around Alex's chest. In that moment, he saw Onodera Kosaki for who she truly was, a poor young woman trying to hide her broken heart. Whether she was hiding it from her friends with her smile or by deceiving herself thinking that she could consume herself in her work to forget.

The emotional build-up to this moment made it hard for her to do anything but cry. She wanted to stop, but it was already out of her control. Alex on the other hand wanted to cry to show that he cared. But after hiding his feelings away from everyone for so long, even he found it difficult to be seen crying anymore.

The stress finally caught up to Onodera however as her legs started give away.

" _Whoa, careful. Here, how about you sit down?_ " Alex said as he slowly lowered himself and Onodera so she could sit against the tree. " _There, is that comfortable?"_

She nodded silently, still with her arms crossed around him. But she backed her head away to speak with him. " _I'm so sorry Alex. Calling you all the way out here after canceling our plans..._ "

" _Don't worry yourself about that_." He said while raising a hand to wipe away a tear off her cheek. " _I know you said you weren't doing well earlier, but are you okay? Are you injured anywhere?_ "

She shook her head. " _N-No, I'm fine. I just had... a bit of an episode. Kind of like what happened last year_."

" _This is what happened to you last year?_ " Alex asked in somewhat shock.

" _Pretty much. Only I'm handling it a little better, for now at least_."

' _If this is better then I don't think I could've born to see her last year_.' Alex thought.

Onodera sighed as she hung her head down. " _I can't believe it happened again... After all that work and preparation, it just took one day to undo it all_." She said as she began to cry again.

Alex didn't know what to say. There wasn't much he could add to make her feel better. But... Although this made him feel a bit useless, Onodera wasn't exactly looking for an answer to her problem. She just wanted someone to be with her so she wasn't alone.

Onodera spoke up again. " _I'm sorry, but is it okay if I rest here for a bit?_ " She then rested her head on Alex's shoulder.

" _S-Sure, if that's w-what you want_." Alex stuttered as he noticed how close Onodera really was now that he had calmed down a bit. She closed her eyes as a soft smile grew on her face.

" _You're too good to me sometimes, Alex_." He heard her whisper.

He was at a loss for words, it almost seemed surreal to him. Although Onodera was somewhat shy and nervous at times, Alex always felt this enduring strength from her, what with her traveling around the world to better herself and move on from her past. To see that same person curled up beside him in tears was certainly a shock to say the least. It was clear that although Onodera had the spirit to make a change, her body could only go so far until it hit its limits.

Suddenly, Alex noticed that he could feel Onodera's heartbeat as she sat beside him.

' _The same heart that makes mine race whenever I see her_.'

Alex shook his head (as much as he could without disturbing Onodera) at the thought. ' _Idiot! This is hardly the time to start getting romantic! Onodera didn't call me here because she wanted me to sweep her off her feet. She called me here because-_ ' Alex stopped. ' _Because... uhh... Wait a minute, why did she call me?_ ' Alex wondered.

' _I mean she could have called Taylor or Tim. They both probably already knew about this long before she even came out here. There was also her friends and family back home she could have called. Like... Ruri? I think that's what her name was. Though that may not have been too helpful since they're all back in Japan... But they're still family, out of all the people she could have called, why me?_ '

He turned his attention to Onodera to ask her for an answer. " _Uhh, Onodera?_ "

" _..._ " she didn't answer.

" _Hey Onodera, are you okay?_ "

" _Zzz..._ " Onodera let out a quiet snore.

Alex tilted his head in disbelief and sighed, she had fallen asleep on his shoulder. " _Poor thing. She must have been more exhausted than she let on to..._ " Alex said as he placed his hand on her head and stroked her hair away from her face.

Onodera must have felt rather safe around Alex, enough that she could fall asleep sitting against him. This in itself might have answered Alex's question.

' _Either way, I should let her rest for as long as I can. I can just ask her later_.' He pulled out this phone to try to see how long the storm will last.

He then felt Onodera tug on his shirt. Though she was still sleeping, it looked like she was bothered by something, a bad dream perhaps.

" _Ichi... jō..._ " A name escaped her lips.

" _Ichijō-kun... was I... not good enough...?_ "

Onodera seemed to be talking in her sleep. Though her body needed rest, she subconsciously still had her mind on the past.

" _Kosaki..._ " Alex felt a pang in his chest at the idea of her thinking that about herself. She was perfect in his eyes, almost like an angel.

The rain continued to pour around them, as Alex was lost in thought wishing he could do something to help, but he already knew just how 'useful' he could only be.

Alex hammered his fist against the dirt in anger. ' _First Mom, then Sophia, now Kosaki... Why can't I help any of the important women in my life!? Why!?_ ' Alex screamed at himself in his mind.

* * *

 **Author's Notes:** Sorry about the late update. December just isn't my month, is it?

I find it kind of weird to write continuations of relationships like with Onodera and Chitoge. Writing Fanfiction/what if stories still feels new to me. Though I was always on "Team Onodera", I never really hated Chitoge. Though I guess I did write her as a plot device to get an emotional response out of Onodera. Hmm... not sure if I'm helping or hurting my case.

Onodera is shown to have anxiety issues and panic attacks, the latter of which being the reason she went overseas to begin with. A bit of a way to show that the garbage Onodera and the other girls had to go through could leave serious emotional problems if it happened to the wrong person.

The part when Onodera talks about "worrying what other people think" is inspired by something my grandmother used to say. In a way, she was saying you shouldn't stress yourself out worrying over people who don't even care that you worry about them. Although I never knew her personally, (she passed away when I was really young) I always looked up to her, and her words always felt like the saying of a wise old sage on dealing with people. Words like these really helped me out at some low points in life.

The scene with Onodera and Alex meeting each other under the tree was something I've been looking forward to writing for a while now. Unfortunately, (for me) I had to cut the scene midway through. Although with the pacing as is, it's probably for the better.


	14. Falling apart

Sweet Love

by Tr-8r810

 **Disclaimer** : I don't own anything related to Nisekoi. This story is strictly for entertainment purposes and not for profit.

 **Nisekoi spoilers!** This story has spoilers of the ending of Nisekoi.

 **Depression** is a sensitive subject to some people. I by no means want to make light of this touchy subject. Even more, I wouldn't want to trigger anyone into a depression episode. Please read with care.

Special thanks to **thatguywhowrote** for taking the time to be a beta reader for this story.

* * *

Onodera slowly opened her eyes in a daze, her vision blurry from the nap she had just taken.

' _Uhh... did I... fall asleep?_ ' Onodera wondered, not quite recalling what day it was.

She raised a hand and rubbed her eyes trying to wake up. As she started to regain her sight she began to make out her surroundings. She could see a great number of trees and rain storming around her. Dusk seemed to have rolled in, which made it hard to see within the fog.

Onodera placed a hand to her head trying to remember whatever she could. " _That's right, I was in the park with Chitoge-Chan earlier. That's when I had that panic attack. I must've accidentally fallen asleep against this tree_.' Onodera paused for a moment as she noticed something strange. ' _Wait a minute... it should be freezing to sit out in the rain and wind like this, but it isn't really that cold. In fact, it's actually quite cozy. What could..._ ' She looked down to find quite a shock. She had a rather large coat resting on her shoulders.

" _Wh-What is this?_ " Onodera remarked. The coat was not hers obviously, but it also wasn't unfamiliar to her. She seemed to recognize it from somewhere. ' _This size, this color... it almost looks like-_ '

" _Oh, hey. You're awake_." She heard the voice say beside her, which made her jolt.

Onodera nervously turned her head to see who was there. She saw that it was Alex sitting beside her, but more than that she was leaning on his shoulder, presumably while she was sleeping.

" _A-Alex...? Is that you?_ "

" _Yeah, you dozed off a little earlier. How are you feeling now?_ "

" _Oh... okay. I guess I'm just still trying to wake up. How long was I asleep for?_ "

" _About 40... No, 45 minutes. You've been resting for a good while_."

" _I see-_ " Onodera suddenly stopped, realizing something so fast that it hit her like a bolt of lightning.

" _Kyaaa!_ " Onodera screamed as she jumped to her feet.

" _Whoa! Onodera, what's wrong!?_ " Alex asked as he quickly got to his feet as well.

" _A-A-Alex!? You're here?! Y-Y-You mean, I-I really d-did call you to come over here?! T-t-that w-wasn't a dream?!_ " Onodera yelled out, now completely awake.

" _Yeah, sort of..._ "

Onodera's expression quickly turned from shock to embarrassment as her whole face grew bright red.

" _S-s-so... you've been here... this whole time? Even while I was... s-sleeping?_ " Onodera asked while turning her face away.

Alex then started to blush as well. " _Uhh... w-well... y-yeah, I guess. B-but I didn't do anything weird, h-honestly!_ " He nervously answered, not expecting her to ask that. " _I just sat there, I couldn't really leave you here all alone! So I thought I'd just... you know... wait for you to wake up..._ " He then raised his right arm and scratched the back of his head.

Onodera glanced at him for a moment and noticed that Alex wasn't wearing his coat. Her eyes widened when she caught sight of his scarred arm underneath the ample light. She looked down again remembering the coat she was wearing from before.

" _A-Alex... this is yours, isn't it?_ " She said as she placed a hand on the jacket.

" _Huh? Oh yeah. You, uhh... looked kind of cold when you were asleep. So I thought I'd lend you my coat. Call it compensation for the other day at the hospital_."

Onodera remembered that cold morning when Taylor suggested that he let her borrow his coat.

" _With the way my arm is... it's not something I can do whenever I want to..._ " He said as he ran his fingers along the scars on his arm. " _Almost everyone left the park already, so it should be pretty safe to be without it for now. Besides, in a storm like this it would be hard to tell what my arm looks like even if someone did see it_."

" _Alex, I..._ " Onodera stuck her hands inside and pulled them through the coat's sleeves. " _I appreciate the thought. Thank you Alex_." She smiled in his direction. " _What do you think? Maybe a little too big?_ " She asked in a joking matter as she lifted her arms, her fingers only barely peeking out of the long sleeves.

Alex chuckled at her antics. " _I don't know, maybe just a little_."

Onodera laughed back. She never mentioned it before, but she actually really liked Alex's coat. It always gave off a cool vibe whenever she saw it though she knew Alex mostly wore it to hide in, she thought it looked good on him. She never imagined she would get the chance to wear it.

She started walking over to him. " _Where did you get this anyway? It seems to be made from some pretty high quality materi-_ " As she was walking her leg suddenly gave out, causing her to fall.

" _Onodera!_ " Alex quickly caught her arm before she hit the ground. She also grabbed his arm for balance. " _Y-You okay?_ "

" _Y... Yeah. Sorry, my nerves are a little shot right now. I kind of... forgot to watch out for that. Can we just sit for a minute?_ "

" _Sure_." Alex carefully sat her down beside the tree. Onodera took a few deep breaths trying to calm her nerves.

Alex sat in front of her. " _Do you need anything, like water, or..._ "

She shook her head. " _No. I'm fine_." She looked at him and then realized something. " _Oh, but... I kind of grabbed onto your arm pretty tightly back there. Is it okay?_ "

" _Huh? Oh, yeah. I just felt it a bit more is all_." He remarked.

Onodera found herself staring at his arm. Unlike before when she only saw a little past his wrist, she could now see his entire arm and all the scars on it. She noticed that the scars climbed up to the sleeve of his T-shirt. Although he had scars cover his arm, it was his forearm that looked the worst, you almost couldn't tell he had cuts on his upper arm by how faded they were.

" _Does it... Does it hurt?_ " She asked as she found herself leaning towards him.

" _No, not really. It's just extremely sensitive to the touch. One great reason to carry a coat around for I guess_." Alex tried laughing it off, but even he knew it didn't work. " _But anyway, what are you wanting to do now? It's getting pretty late_."

" _I was originally planning to head back to the bakery, but I guess there's no point in it now_." Onodera tried getting back to her feet, but needed Alex to help her up.

" _Alex, umm... I know I've asked a lot from you already, but can I ask for one more favor? The apartment I'm staying at is only a few blocks away from the park, but I doubt if I can make it there myself in this rain. So... do you think... you could, umm..._ " Onodera turned her head away out of embarrassment as her words trailed off.

" _Help you walk home?_ " Alex spoke up, finishing her sentence for her.

" _Please. I would rather not take my chances in this weather._ "

" _Sure. Here, gimme your hand_." Alex draped Onodera's arm around the back of his neck so that she could hold on to his right shoulder for support. He then laced his left arm behind her and held her up by the waist. Onodera tensed a little at the feeling of his hand touching her midsection.

Alex pulled his hand away. " _Oh, s-sorry. It's hard for me to tell where I should hold people sometimes. Should I... uhh..._ "

Before he could continue, Onodera took his hand and placed it back firmly on her waist.

" _No, you're fine. It just... surprised me, being held there and all..._ " She said as she faced towards Alex and smiled reassuringly. " _So, shall we get going?_ "

Alex turned away, blushing a bit from her bright expression shining under the bad weather. " _R-right, let's go_." They both then started walking together.

The two started their long walk out of the park. Alex tried to take his time as they walked to make sure she didn't fall. Onodera on the other hand was trying to go at a quicker pace, both to get out of the rain, and for Alex's sake.

This made their rhythm... a little off.

Once they got out of the park though, things started to get better. They both took their time walking down the sidewalk towards her apartment and only a few cars were driving by the park. There wasn't anyone else around walking, thanks to the rain.

Onodera thought to herself for a moment, then suddenly spoke up. " _A-About earlier, when I called you to cancel our plans, a-an old friend came into town to surprise me_."

" _Hmm?_ " Alex looked at her as they continued walking.

" _I hadn't seen her since I left Japan. Taylor may have been the one who suggested we spend the day together, but I was the one who forgot about our plans for lunch and agreed to it... I'm sorry_." She finished as she hung her head, too guilty to look him in the eyes. She felt she owed Alex an explanation about what happened earlier, especially after calling him all the way in the middle of the rain. Looking back on it, she almost wished she hadn't canceled their lunch.

"..." Alex stayed quiet, not knowing what to say.

The walk after that was filled with an awkward silence. Eventually they found themselves in front of Onodera's apartment building. It was pretty big, it almost looked more like a larger hotel than an apartment complex. They were just about to walk into the entrance when Onodera stopped.

" _Oh, there might be some other residents here. Do you maybe want your coat back now?_ " She took a step away and pulled his coat off. " _Can't be too careful_." She added, as she handed it over to him.

" _T-Thanks_." He then put it back on. It was still warm from Onodera wearing it.

Onodera then walked ahead in, as Alex followed.

" _How are you feeling now?_ " He asked.

" _Better than I was earlier_." She smiled back at him. " _Alex... It means a lot to me that you came today. Especially after I-_ "

Alex then raised his hand interrupting her. " _Onodera. Please don't punish yourself over that. I already understand why you did it, and it's alright. So don't be too hard on yourself, alright?_ "

" _I..._ " She turned her head forward. " _O-Okay. If you say so_." She smiled beyond his notice.

Onodera then came to an elevator and pressed the button calling it down.

" _Right now I think I just need a good night's sleep. Alex, thank you for everything you've done, I really owe you one, don't I?_ "

Alex smiled at her. " _Don't be ridiculous. You don't owe me anything_."

Onodera looked at him, puzzled by what he meant.

" _Remember that day you stopped at the music store? You told me you wanted to help me with... well... this,_ " He raised his right arm. " _You said you could be there for me when I needed someone to talk to. Do you remember what I told you?_ "

She paused for a moment trying to remember. " _You told me... that if I did do that, it would be a two way street._ "

" _Exactly_." Alex took a step closer. " _We're friends Onodera, and I have so much to thank you for. How could I not help you after everything you've done for me?_ "

' _Besides, if anyone's indebted between us then I'm the one who owes you for everything_.' He thought to himself.

" _Alex..._ " Onodera hesitated, but then step towards him and wrapped her arms around his waist. He was a bit surprised that Onodera gave him another hug, but simply smiled and hugged her back.

Alex laughed a little. "W _e both seem to be acting a little out of character today_." He joked, to which Onodera chuckled.

At that point they both knew that it had been a long day. They didn't really worry about how it looked to others nearby, they just wanted to comfort each other. Onodera especially found herself at ease nuzzling against Alex's shoulder. She wasn't really paying attention to how long they were in each other's arms, but she didn't want it to end.

*Beep* The elevator doors suddenly opened behind her.

' _...Right on queue_.' Onodera thought in disappointment. She slowly pulled her arms back and stepped away. " _Alex, I..._ " she paused, " _...guess I'll see you later_." Onodera added as she turned to walk into the elevator.

Alex felt an urge to leave her with an encouraging word, but his mind was drawing a blank. As she pushed her floor's button, Alex decided to wing it.

" _H-Hey, Onodera!_ " He called, making her look towards him. " _If, uhh... you need anything later, you can give me a call a-and I can get it for you. Even if you just want to talk, d-don't be afraid to ask_."

The doors started to close between them. Onodera didn't have the time to think much for a response. So she simply smiled and said: " _Alright_."

The door then shut in front of her. Onodera's smile quickly turned into a frown. Now that she was by herself again, she didn't need to hold back her feelings anymore. Since she woke up, Onodera tried to put on a brave face for Alex, but that mask finally cracked. She raised her hands to her face as she started weeping.

Alex stood still in front of the elevator for a moment, staring blankly at its doors for a while before he started to walk away. His heart was heavy thinking about the woman he cared for being in so much pain. Even worse was the feeling that he couldn't do anything to remove it.

* * *

Two days later...

Taylor had just finished sweeping around the bakery.

" _There, that should do it_." She thought aloud. She turned to put the broom back in the closet when she heard footsteps coming from outside the store.

Alex ran through the entrance into the bakery, backpack in hand. " _Taylor! Is... Is Onodera... here today?_ " He asked gasping for air, clearly out of breath from his sprint.

" _Oh, Alex. It's just you._ " Taylor replied, with a hint of annoyance in her voice. " _Sorry to disappoint you, but no. She took today off. Still out of it from the other day I would presume_." She walked over and pulled out a chair for him. "Here, take a seat before you collapse on my newly cleaned floor."

" _Th-thanks_." He sat down, winded from his run.

" _You know you don't need to come running down here every day to check up on her. You have her number, don't you? Just call her or something_."

" _Yeah, but... I'm still feeling a little awkward from the other day. I told her if she wanted to talk she could call me, but she hasn't tried calling me or anything. Plus I'm also not too good with cellphones. I'd rather meet with people face to face if I can help it_."

" _Well, I guess I can see where you're coming from. However, when I talked with her yesterday she didn't seem to want any visitors. It'll probably be best to respect her feelings_."

Alex shook his head. " _B-But what if she's only saying that? You know her, maybe she just doesn't want to worry us when she really-_ "

Taylor grabbed Alex's shoulders to get his attention. " _Hey, Alex. Calm down_."

" _Yeah but-_ "

" _No buts. Take a deep breath, would you?_ " Taylor said while shaking him a little.

Alex took a deep breath and sighed.

" _You better?_ " She then let go and took a step back. " _Jeez, you're starting to sound like Tim's girlfriend the way you're worrying_."

Alex turned his face away. " _It just kind of spooked me the other day, I-I want to make sure she's okay, is all..._ "

Taylor rolled her eyes. " _Look Alex, I get it. You're worried about Onodera. That's fine to care about her, heck some people might even say it's sweet. But you're going to worry yourself sick like this. Just man up a little, would'ya? She'll come back when she's ready_."

Alex's expression grew sour at her statement as he tugged his right arm. " _Yeah sure, whatever..._ " he said half-heartedly.

Taylor walked behind the counter pulling out the last of her merchandise that she needed. " _When do you find the time to keep coming here anyway, don't you have work to do or something?_ "

" _No, not today. Yesterday was just my lunch break_."

Taylor's eyes looked under the counter suspiciously. " _So... since Onodera isn't here... what were you planning to do now? Any plans?_ "

" _I, uh... guess I didn't really think that far ahead. I don't know, why do you-_ " Alex then paused for a second. " _Wait, let me guess... you're wanting a rematch in Chess, aren't you?_ "

" _Whaaat? No, of course not_." She responded in a rather dubious matter. " _But, I mean while you're here-_ " she then pulled out a chessboard from under the counter, preset and everything. " _Why not?_ "

Alex sighed with a smile on his face. " _You're not going to let me get away with that win yesterday, are you?_ "

" _Come on, I almost had you! I want another shot, I know I can beat you this time!_ " She yelled almost comically.

' _Sure, keep telling yourself that_.' Alex thought to himself.

" _Fine, fine. It's not like I have anything better to do_."

Taylor smiled as she brought the board over to the table he was sitting at. " _You're not gonna trick me again. This time I'm ready_." She sat down eager to start.

Alex wasn't really taking it too seriously. He had become pretty adaptable in his strategy to the point he wasn't too afraid of what Taylor could do. But he still humored her, if not only to distract himself from worrying about Onodera.

Their game started pretty much the same as their other ones began, however Taylor was finding it harder and harder to find Alex's opening. He seemed to be going all out, unlike before. After a few turns Taylor spoke up to kill the silence.

" _By the way, thanks for helping Onodera the other day. She said she really appreciated what you did_."

Alex didn't respond right away. " _...Don't mention it. It's not like I did anything special_." He said without taking his eyes off the board.

" _Oh, I don't believe that. Onodera seemed to have called you before me or Miss Miyamoto. She must like you a lot_." She said with a smirk.

"Believe what you want, I don't care. Maybe she just called me first because we talked earlier that day." Alex's voice became more distant as he continued speaking.

" _Really? I would think you would have to like someone a lot to fall asleep in their arms peacefully_."

Alex glared at her, blushing over her comment. " _D-Don't do that_." His voice was a mixture of embarrassment and frustration.

" _Do what?_ " She added in a playful matter.

" _You know what_." It was clear that Taylor was trying to mess with Alex's strategy by reminding him of his and Onodera's 'meeting' the other day. " _I'm here to play a game of Chess. If you're going to play it THAT way, I think I'll see myself out right now_." His tone made it clear he wasn't joking around.

" _Okay, okay. You don't have to get all upset_." She waved her hand while smiling.

" _Honestly, could you avoid joking about something like that? This is obviously very upsetting for Onodera_." Alex remarked as he made his next move.

Taylor's smile slowly faded away, now feeling a bit ashamed at using Onodera's misfortune in such a matter. " _S-sorry..._ "

They continued their game in awkward silence. Taylor then noticed that Alex's moves were becoming sloppier, his attention seemed to be elsewhere.

He then started to speak up again. " _She... She looked so hurt the other day. I've never seen someone take a rejection so hard before, for them to still be bothered by it years later._ "

" _Yeah. Although, I guess it has only been about half as long as she loved him. Things like that take time to get over_." Taylor mentioned while resting her arm on the table, which she used to support her head.

Alex nodded at her statement, then snapped his head to look at her in confusion. " _Wait, what do you mean?_ "

" _You know, about Onodera and... uh... what's his face, the guy she fell in love with_."

" _Ichijō?_ " Alex guessed, remembering the name from the other day. He had a hard time forgetting it after what Onodera said in her sleep. ' _Was I not good enough? Why on earth would Onodera ask something like that? And more importantly, what kind of person makes someone ask themselves a question like that?_ '

" _Yeah, Ichijō Raku. Anyway, all that stuff about their promises to each other all those years back is probably why it still gets to her. I can't blame her honestly, after spending most of your life loving someone only to get rejected. Jeez, it sure puts my 'guy troubles' in perspective_."

Alex's confused expression only became more troubled as Taylor spoke. " _W-What are you talking about...? She said she liked him back in high school. Where's this coming from?_ "

Taylor was puzzled by Alex's question. " _You mean Onodera didn't tell you? Hmm... I thought she would've, seeing how close you two are..." She thought out loud. "Well it's not like it's a big secret or anything, so I guess I'll tell you. You deserve at least that much after the other day_."

" _It was true that she fell in love with him back in high school, but apparently they knew each other long before that, when they were around six years old, I think. The two of them really hit it off pretty well, but they weren't going to stay together for that long. So the two love birds came up with an idea. He took a locket and gave her a key, then they promised that they would meet each other again, and when they did they would get married_."

Taylor paused for a second. " _Now to you and me that probably sounds pretty silly, but Onodera took it very seriously. Although growing up she forgot the boy's name and face, she always kept that key on her, as well as that promise in her heart_."

Alex's hands started trembling at remembering the necklace in his backpack, now realizing what the significance it meant to Onodera. Her words came back to mind. 'That necklace over there, I used to have one just like it.'

" _S-So then w-what happened?_ " Alex asked, though he was afraid of the answer.

" _Well, fast forward a few years later to her middle school days, she actually ran into Raku again. She didn't realize that he was the same person she made her promise to, but she started falling for him just the same_."

" _Y-You mean she..._ " A new tenseness found itself in Alex's voice.

" _Fell in love with the same man twice? Yes. It wasn't until high school when she really pushed herself to confess her feelings towards him, but..._ " Taylor lowered her head, not looking forward to the next part.

" _But what, Taylor?_ " Alex asked in a firm voice, needing to hear what happened next after being kept in suspense.

" _You're not going to like it_." She warned. " _At the beginning of high school... Raku got a girlfriend, Kirisaki Chitoge, as she was known as then. Supposedly Raku and Chitoge were forced into an arranged relationship. Something about their dads "business" or something. I don't know, Onodera was a little vague on the details_."

" _So, they weren't really dating?_ "

" _As far as everyone was concerned, they were. However Onodera eventually found out what was really going on, and continued to try to confess her feelings. But every time she tried to, something interrupted her. Like the whole darn world was against her_." Taylor said in frustration.

" _She did mention something about that. Didn't quite word it like that though. She just made it sound like she lost her nerves when she tried_." Alex added.

" _Yeah, because Onodera is someone who would play the victim_." Taylor remarked sarcastically. " _If something was hard for her, you'd know she would sugarcoat it and try to bear with it. Like for example, it wasn't just Chitoge that was all lovey-dovey around Raku. Apparently there were a number of other women who had the thing for him, some more forward than others. She had to deal with that all throughout her high school years_."

Alex leaned back in his seat, feelings of pain in his chest at hearing what Onodera went through in her past. ' _Kosaki... I had no idea..._ '

" _Well that's how it was at least until Chitoge and Raku fell in love._ " Taylor added.

" _What!?_ " Alex yelled as he got out of his seat and slammed his hands on the table.

" _Whoa! Careful, you almost knocked the board over_."

" _Where did that come from?! When did they-_ "

Taylor interrupted him. " _Apparently over all that time they spent together they started to seriously like each other. Raku kept that locket with him just as Onodera did, but obviously that promise didn't mean that much to him over time. When Onodera remembered that Raku was the boy she made her promise to, she finally confessed her love to him. But by that point he all but gave up on the "promised girl" he was looking for. That's when he rejected her_."

Alex tilted his head down, away from Taylor sight. " _S-So, that's why she... why she's still haunted by it. Why she can't let the past go. Because she spent her whole life looking for a lost love... And for what?!_ "

Taylor turned her head away as well. " _I know... When I first heard that a friend of my dad's asked for someone to work here, I was skeptical. But after hearing her story, I couldn't help but welcome her with open arms_." She paused. " _She... uh... she's still friends with them, did you know that? Raku and Chitoge I mean. The other day, Chitoge came by for a surprise visit. That's why she had her episode, probably brought back some old memories. I... I thought you should know._ "

Alex leaned off the table, his face still turned away from the baker. " _Taylor, was what you just told me... Was that all the truth?_ " He asked in a somber tone, sounding almost on the verge of tears.

Taylor looked back at him with a nervous smile. " _I... I know I can be a pill at times, Alex. But even I'm not twisted enough to make up something like this_."

" _I can't believe it..._ " Alex quietly said to himself.

" _Huh? What was that?_ "

" _I've been such an IDIOT!_ " Alex shouted as he knocked his seat over in anger.

" _H-Hey, Alex? You okay?_ " Taylor asked, a bit shocked to see him so visibly frustrated.

His eyes were filled with tears. However, any sadness was greatly outweighed by his unadulterated rage. " _I... I have to go!_ " He said abruptly as he picked up his backpack and ran out of the store.

Taylor got out of her seat and followed him. " _Hey, wait a minute! Alex!_ " She cried.

It was still early and the mall only opened a little while ago so there wasn't a great number of people walking about, but anyone that was there noticed the young man running in a hurry.

' _I can't believe I was so stupid! I actually thought me and Kosaki had something in common, that we've both been hurt by someone we cared about. But she wasn't hurt in the past, she was devastated by the only man she ever loved! I'm nothing compared to her!_ ' He shouted in his head as he rushed through the mall.

' _I always knew Kosaki was a better person then me, but this!? At least she TRIES to do something about it. She doesn't just sit around mutilating herself when she gets a little sad! And that Raku, breaking her heart and his promise to her, where does he get off on treating her like that! Why... If I ever see that scum bag's face, I'll-_ ' Alex's thought was cut short as he suddenly tripped, not paying attention to where he was walking.

He fell head first against the hard floor, dropping his backpack a few feet in front of him.

A number of onlookers noticed his fall. Some wondered if he was okay, others just turned around and ignored him, one child could be heard laughing from the distance. None of them ever went to check on him.

Alex felt a shooting pain in his head, but he started to pick himself up anyway.

' _Oh, who am I kidding... I can't blame Raku for that. If he really loved that other girl, it would've been wrong for him to be with Kosaki. At least this life is better than living a lie, thinking that someone loves you when their heart belongs to someone else. That would be worse_.' Alex thought as he got onto his knees.

' _Kosaki needs someone who truly loves her, and who cares for her the way she deserves. C-Clearly... she wouldn't get that from me. It was foolish of me to even consider... being with her_.'

He started getting onto his feet as he reached for his backpack, but then felt something holding him back.

" _Slow down Alex! You're going to make yourself worse_." He heard Taylor say behind him while she had a grip on the back of his coat's collar.

" _...let go of me Taylor.._." Alex ordered, his voice showing no sign of patience.

" _Not a chance. You'll just run away again_."

Alex then turned around to face her. " _I said LET GO!_ "

She gasped at seeing a trail of blood running down the right side of his face. The injury from Taylor's pan the other day seemed to have cut open from his fall.

Taylor quickly composed herself before replying. " _Alex, I know you're upset. But you need to calm down. You're only going to hurt yourself_."

Alex took a deep breath and looked forward again. " _I... I guess you're right_."

In a split-second, Alex then pulled his arms out of his coat, leaving it behind in Taylor's hands. " _W-what the-!?_ " She cried as she fell backwards at her loss of balance, falling on her bottom.

Alex quickly ran by his backpack as he grabbed one of the arm straps and bolted off.

" _Ow! Why that little- Alex! Get back here!_ " She yelled, despite knowing it wouldn't stop him.

* * *

 **Author's Notes:** The opening of this chapter was surprisingly fun to write. A little light hearted comedy was a nice change of pace from the drama of the last chapter.

There's one subtle story element I liked doing here. In the original manga Raku once carried tsugumi when she hurt her leg. In contrast, Alex physically isn't quite strong enough to carry Onodera on his own. But Onodera isn't too weak that she would needs him to. It goes into the idea that the two of them can help each other, be it a walk out of the park or in life as a couple. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

The entire reason I had Chess as an element in this story was to give Alex and Taylor a setting for her to tell him Onodera's backstory. I honestly liked how it slowly became a part of Taylor's character leading up to this point.

Actually, the entire part with Alex and Taylor at the bakery came out almost exactly like how I originally imagined. Definitely my favorite part of this chapter.

Looking back at it now, I realized that as I worked on this story I've tried to keep Onodera in the line light for most of the chapters. You know, sense she's really the only actual Nisekoi character here. But in this chapter she's missing from the second half. It's only the original characters Alex and Taylor from then on. Which is a little funny considering all they do is talk about Onodera.


	15. Despair and Hope

Sweet Love

by Tr-8r810

 **Disclaimer** : I don't own anything related to Nisekoi. This story is strictly for entertainment purposes and not for profit.

 **Nisekoi spoilers!** This story has spoilers of the ending of Nisekoi.

 **Depression** is a sensitive subject to some people. I by no means want to make light of this touchy subject. Even more, I wouldn't want to trigger anyone into a depression episode. Please read with care.

Special thanks to **thatguywhowrote** for taking the time to be a beta reader for this story.

* * *

Since the day of Onodera's panic attack, the weather seemed to have gotten from bad to worse. The rain storm had persisted for the last couple of days as Onodera was at her apartment, however this morning the rain seemed to have stopped. Clouds still covered the sky though, as if it could resume at any minute.

Onodera was still in her nightgown this afternoon as she looked out her window while sitting on her bed. Her hair was a bit of a mess as she hadn't taken care of it since she had woken up. She didn't have any plans to go out today so she didn't see the need to.

The last thing she felt like doing was being around anyone. All her enthusiasm to bake and better herself took a big emotional hit after the other day, and the only oven she had access to was the bakery's, so she couldn't practice at home.

But more than that, what frustrated her was that she had another relapse. She thought she was over Raku, that she had shed every tear that she had for him. That she let go of every feeling that needed to be forgotten.

Yet here she was, still thinking about the past, and still hurting from it.

Suddenly, she noticed her phone was going off. " _Huh? Who could that be?_ " She wondered, looking at the caller ID to see that it was...

" _R-Ruri?_ "

Onodera was a bit caught off-guard seeing this. She hadn't talked to Ruri since she asked for her help with Alex's depression. She was more of expecting Taylor or Alex to check up on her, especially since they and her family were the only ones who knew about her relapse.

Regardless, she didn't want to keep Ruri hanging and quickly answered her phone.

" _H-hello?_ "

" _...Hey Kosaki. It's me..._ " Ruri's voice had a somber tone as she responded. " _I... I heard about what happened. Are you okay?_ "

" _I... I guess..._ " Onodera folded her legs up to her chest. " _I'm just... upset_."

Ruri waited for a second. " _I'm... I'm sorry, Kosaki. Sorry that this happened again, and that I'm not there for you_."

" _Umm... speaking of which, how did you know about this? I... haven't told that many people_."

" _Your sister told me._ " Ruri bluntly answered. " _She wanted me to check up on you, knowing that I've had more history on this subject than she did_."

" _Of course... Haru_." Onodera placed a hand against her face out of embarrassment as she sighed.

' _I guess I should've expected her to be the one behind this. Neither Mom or Dad would've gone off to ask Ruri for help_.'

" _I called as soon as I heard. Kosaki, why didn't you tell me earlier?_ "

" _I... I guess I just didn't feel like talking about it. That's all..._ " Onodera answered half-heartedly.

" _Oh please, you couldn't think of anything more convincing than that?_ " Ruri responded harshly. " _I know there's more to it than just that_."

Onodera bit her lower lip. Ruri saw right through her excuse even from the other side of the phone, though she really hadn't put much effort into it.

" _I... I'm sorry Ruri. But you've been so busy with your wedding coming up, I thought the last thing you needed to worry about was me having trouble letting go of the past... again_." Onodera's voice was very distraught.

" _Idiot, that's exactly **why** I worry about you. You're too focused on making sure everyone else around you is happy that you tend to neglect your own_."

" _Yeah, but-_ "

" _No buts_." She said sharply. " _We're friends Kosaki, I've always been there for you. Why do you think I should stop caring now? Just because you're overseas and I'm getting married doesn't change a thing_."

" _Ruri..._ " Onodera took a deep breath, clearing her mind. " _Alright... Then can I go over what happened?_ "

" _For you Kosaki, always_."

Onodera then went over the details of what had happened the other day, about how Chitoge had come for a surprise visit, their talk at the park and exactly what she felt as she broke down. It was difficult going all over it again, but it also felt somewhat relieving to discuss it with Ruri, to express her feelings and to get it out of her system.

" _After that I've mostly just been at my apartment. I haven't gotten the nerve to go back to work yet. Even the idea of dealing with people makes me anxious. Especially with Taylor or Alex, I just know they are going to make a big deal out of it_." Onodera lamented.

" _Taylor and who?_ "

" _Alex. Remember, I called you trying to figure out what to do about his depression?_ " Onodera reminded her.

" _Oh, right. I suppose I can see why your boss would worry for you, but this Alex probably wouldn't even know about your panic attack, right?_ "

" _Well..._ " Onodera subconsciously started playing with her hair, feeling a bit awkward of what she was about to add. " _He kind of already knows. He was sort of there and helped me get back home from the park..._ "

" _Whoa, hold up_." Ruri quickly responded, now confused by Onodera's statement. " _What was he doing there in the park with you? I thought you were with Chitoge-san by yourself?_ "

" _I... uhh... I kind of gave him a call to come over that day.._." Onodera said with an embarrassed expression on her face.

Ruri went silent. She was caught off-guard by what Onodera had just said. A large number of questions came to her mind.

" _That's... surprising to hear. What... exactly **was** your relationship with Alex again?_ "

Onodera felt flustered at her question. " _W-We're just good friends_."

" _Since when? Last I heard you two were barely acquaintances_."

" _W-We met up again after you and I talked last time, and we kind of hit it off pretty well after that_." She paused. " _Plus his depression has been pretty rough on him recently, and... I wanted to help him with it_."

Ruri sighed with a smile. " _That's what I should've expected from you. You're not overextending yourself though, right?_ " Ruri said with a quick shift to a serious tone.

" _Oh no, not at all. We've just been hanging out together mostly, you know going shopping, seeing each other at work, eating out, stuff like that. It's honestly been really fun_." Onodera added reassuring her.

" _Wait a minute, you two have been eating out together?_ " Ruri said, shock in her voice. " _You mean like in a group, right?_ "

" _N-No, It was just the t-two of us._ " Onodera stuttered.

" _R-Really?_ " Ruri found herself intrigued by this development. It seemed hard to believe that the shy, awkward, lovesick woman Ruri knew in high school would ever go to such lengths for someone she just felt pity for.

But more noteworthy was the fact that Onodera's tone had changed from what it was earlier. She didn't sound as melancholic about her past with Raku anymore. If anything, she reminded Ruri of their high school days with the way she was acting, specifically when she was talking about Raku.

" _Hey Kosaki, what's Alex like?_ "

" _Huh? What do you mean?_ "

" _I mean, what's his personality? What kind of person is he like?_ "

Onodera was puzzled by Ruri's inquiry, yet she answered anyway. " _He's kind of a quiet person at times, a bit of a loner. But not in a standoffish way, just that he keeps to himself mostly. But... when you really sit down and talk with him, you see that he's quite a kind and caring person. Whenever something was troubling me he'd try to cheer me up, whether it was problems at the bakery or if that stuff with Ichijō-kun was getting to me again_."

Onodera frowned. " _Although, he does worry me at times. He seems to dwell on the past quite often. His mother's stroke and the time he lost an old friend in particular really got to him. Sometimes I fear what would happen if he might fall back into his depression and try hurting himself again_."

" _Do you believe he could be susceptible to something like that happening again?_ "

Onodera shook her head. " _I don't know, all this stuff about depression is still a mystery to me sometimes. But even so, I don't want that to prevent me from understanding him better_."

" _Really now, you sound pretty determined for someone who only wanted to cheer him up_."

Onodera thought to herself for a moment. ' _Yeah... I guess that was the reason I did at first. But... I've been feeling like there's something else there... pushing me towards him..._ ' she admitted to herself while gripping at her heart.

" _I... I just want to be there for him. He's been there for me on so many occasions, I want to be the friend he needs if something goes wrong. I don't care when or where it is... I-I..._ " Onodera studdard, quickly realizing she may have said too much.

" _Y-You're serious about this_." Ruri remarked after clearly hearing the sincerity in Onodera's voice.

"..." Onodera didn't reply.

Ruri waited a minute before speaking up again, " _Kosaki. You like him, don't you?_ "

Onodera's cheeks turned red at Ruri's question. She had gotten used to Taylor poking fun at her and Alex's friendship, but it coming from Ruri felt different. The two of them had been through so much together, she wouldn't ask something like that lightly or carelessly, especially knowing her past with Raku.

" _W-What? I... umm... N-no, of course not..._ " Onodera responded nervously, knowing full well that answer wouldn't satisfy Ruri. However it was all she could muster at that point.

" _Honestly Kosaki, you're not even trying to come up with a good cover now. It's so clear I can tell from your voice that you like him even when we're this far apart_."

Onodera shook her head. " _N-No... I-It's just your imagination... I don't l-like him th-_ " She couldn't even finish her statement before she started to tear up again.

Ruri could hear Onodera weeping on the other end. " _K-Kosaki? Are you alright?_ "

" _I-I'm just,_ " she paused, thinking it would be wiser to stay quiet. " _N-never mind. It's nothing..._ " she said in a gloomy tone.

" _That didn't sound like nothing. Come on, what's wrong?_ "

" _I..._ "

" _*sigh* Kosaki, I can't help you if you don't talk to me. Or would you prefer it if I started guessing what's wrong?_ "

"..." she didn't answer.

"Fine then." Ruri thought for a second. " _Are you afraid about how this would affect your friendship?_ "

"..." Again, no response.

" _No? Is it that you don't know how he will respond with his depression?_ "

" _Ruri... please stop_." Onodera said, feeling downtrodden.

" _It's not because of Ichijō is it?_ "

" _N-No!_ " She said forcefully. " _Ichijō-kun has nothing to do with my feelings for-_ " Onodera then stopped realizing she slipped up. " _Eep! I-I mean-!_ "

" _So you **do** have feelings for him!_ " Ruri called out.

" _I-I..._ " Onodera had found herself in a corner, one she couldn't talk her way out of. With a deep sigh in defeat she decided to face the music.

" _Y-Yes... I do... I like him, a lot._ " She confessed. " _I think I've been having these feelings for some time now._ "

" _If that's the case, then what's with all the secretiveness? I could see if you were hesitant towards telling him, but why are you trying to fool me? Isn't that what we mostly did in high school, talk about your crush?_ "

Onodera's grip on the phone tightened. " _I-It's because I wasn't planning on acting on these feelings_." Her voice turned cold as she spoke.

" _Huh? What do you mean, why not?_ "

" _Because... because I don't want to get rejected again!_ " Onodera yelled aloud.

Ruri gasped in shock. The line went silent on both ends. She could see clearly now why Onodera wanted to avoid talking about it. " _K-Kosaki... I didn't mean to..._ "

" _You don't get it do you, I CAN'T be hurt that way again. I don't want to fall in love with someone just for them to break my heart. Yes, I'm worried about how this could affect our friendship. Yes, I'm worried about how he would respond with his depression. But what I'm really worried about is if I tell him how I feel and when I ask him if he feels the same way, he'd just say 'no'!_ "

" _Kosaki-san..._ "

" _But even knowing that, I still called him that day at the park. I just wanted to see him, to be comforted by him. I was feeling terrible, but... when he held me I loved being in his arms. I never felt so safe and comfortable before in my life. And yet, I was scared to death. Scared of losing that feeling, that warmth, something that wasn't mine, someone's love that doesn't even belong to me._ "

"..." Ruri didn't have anything to add.

" _It's... its better this way if I don't say anything. Things won't become awkward between us, and I won't get hurt from falling in love again. We'll just stay as friends and everyone will be happy_." Onodera said, sounding more like she was trying to convince herself rather than Ruri.

" _Kosaki... you... Y-you idiot!_ " Shouted Ruri to her surprise.

" _Wh-what?_ "

" _That doesn't solve anything! You're just avoiding the real problem at hand!_ "

" _What are you talking about?!_ "

" _This 'holding back your feelings' thing. That's not going to make you feel better, or help you get over your feelings for Ichijo._ "

A feeling of frustration filled Onodera at hearing this. " _I told you, I don't have any feelings for him anymore!_ "

" _If that's true, then why did you go overseas in the first place? What are you trying to avoid? Why does this time of the year bother you? It never did before all this stuff with Ichijo, so why now then?_ "

Ruri paused and composed herself before speaking once more. " _Kosaki-San... please, I just want to know the truth. Just between you and me, do you still love Ichijo?_ " Her tone turned softer rather quickly. Onodera took a moment before responding, thinking her words over carefully.

" _No..._ " she said calmly and clearly. " _I did, once. But, I couldn't keep feeling like that forever. He was still my friend, and is in love with one of my best friends, I couldn't stay in love with him, I had to move on from the past._ " She took a breather. " _But it wasn't just Ichijo-kun I had to let go of, it was also the memories, the dreams of that little girl who made that promise so long ago..._ "

" _That dream, that fantasy that there was someone out there waiting for me, wanting me as their love... I had to let go of that as well._ " Onodera finally started calming down from earlier. " _I don't believe in fairytale endings anymore. I waited long enough on Ichijo-kun to learn to not wait for something that isn't going to happen... You'll just end up hurting yourself._ "

Ruri went quiet for a second thinking over what to say. " _Kosaki... if I may... perhaps the problem wasn't that you were "waiting" for someone to love you, instead maybe you needed to find someone you couldn't help but give them your love._ "

Onodera was stunned to hear Ruri say those words. " _What do you-_ "

" _I know last time you called I told you I wasn't going to give you love advice again. But I wish to retract that statement. It's... it's clear to me that I can't honestly abandon my best friend when I know I can help._ "

" _Ruri-chan..._ "

" _Kosaki, I know this has all been hard on you, that you've been thinking about your promise since you were a child. These feelings of pain and rejection probably won't go away miraculously, but if you truly care about this Alex guy, if your heart really is trying to love again... I think you should try telling him. It won't be easy, but keeping these feelings tucked away to yourself could be adding to your emotional anxiety. Which could explain your outburst the other day._ "

" _Ruri... but..._ " Onodera looked down. " _What if he doesn't feel the same way though? I don't want to complicate things between us_."

" _From the way you describe it, Alex sounds like he's pretty alert and concerned towards your feelings. If he doesn't like you the same way, he probably would still want to be your friend. Besides, what if he does like you that way?_ "

Onodera placed a hand over her chest, just imagining that possibility made her feel flustered. She hadn't given that much thought to the idea of Alex liking her back, since she mostly treated this as a secret, one-sided crush similar to that she had in mind with Raku.

' _How would he react?' She wondered. 'Alex has been open with me for a while now, especially considering he hasn't told anyone half of the stuff he's told me. I guess... our friendship is pretty special, we aren't simply friends that just hang out together._ '

" _But even so... oh I don't know..._ "

" _Kosaki, may I remind you of what you said to me at our graduation?_ "

Onodera froze with a gasp, remembering what Ruri was referring too.

" _You told me you made a promise to yourself, do you remember what that promise was?_ "

Her hand was trembling while holding her phone. " _I-It was that if I ever fell in love with someone else like how I did towards Ichijō-kun, I wouldn't hesitate to tell them how I felt._ "

" _Because you never know what life will bring, so you want to make sure to tell people how you really feel while you still can._ " Ruri finished.

Onodera started crying involuntarily. She put a hand to her face to find tears streaming down her cheeks. ' _W-wh... Why I'm I crying?_ ' She thought.

" _You're always thinking about other people, trying to make sure everyone is happy. Shouldn't you also make sure you are happy as well? Your happiness is just as important as everyone else's._ " She paused. " _Honestly Kosaki, I love you. We've always been the best of friends. Even now... it's killing me that I'm not there to comfort you in person._ "

" _R-Ruri-chan..._ " Onodera was quite surprised to hear Ruri talking about her feelings in such an open matter.

" _That's why I feel you need to do this, to be true to yourself and for your own sake. I wouldn't suggest this if I didn't think it was the best option for you. At the very least you can say you tried your best with no regrets. Perhaps fairytales don't exist, but that doesn't mean you should give up on love._ "

Onodera wiped away the tears off her face. ' _This whole time... ever since I came here, I've been trying to let go of my past, let go of the pain. But I've been focusing on what's behind me for too long. I... I can't forget the past, but maybe I'm not supposed too, that was what shaped me into the woman I am today. But to the future, that's where I should be focused on. That's where I can change... change into the kind of woman I want to be._ '

Onodera chuckled to herself. ' _But... I guess I already knew that. Didn't I, Alex?_ '

" _What so funny?_ " Ruri asked.

" _N-Nothing. I was just thinking about something a friend told me once._ "

" _But you're right, Ruri. I was so determined after high school not to find myself in this position again. And yet... I almost let myself fall back into the same place I was before. I... I-I won't let my fear control me again!_ " Onodera shouted. " _Ruri-chan, thank you for reminding me that I still have a promise I need to keep, to the younger woman I was._ "

" _All I ask is one thing: Don't do this because I told you too. Do this for yourself. You deserve to find some happiness in this world, Kosaki._ "

" _I will. Thank you, for everything._ "

Onodera hung up the phone with mixed feelings within her. Feelings of sorrow, anguish and pain over the past. And yet, love, hope and excitement towards the future. These feelings contrasted each other greatly. But she kept her head up high looking forward, hoping there will be less of her past in the future.

" _I... I need to see Alex again_." She quickly jumped out of bed to get dressed. " _I don't really know what I'll say to him, but I have to do this. I won't wait anymore._ " She stopped and looked at her right arm. " _I... know we've both been through our own different challenges, some of which we may not ever understand... But still, when I'm with him, I don't want to leave. He makes me feel better when I'm beside him. Like... I'm where I belong._ "

" _I wonder... dose Alex feel the same way when we're together?_ "

 **Meanwhile back with Ruri...**

She took her glasses off to wipe away the unseen tears from her eyes.

' _Godspeed Kosaki-san... I can only wish you the greatest of luck now_.' She thought to herself.

Beyond her notice, Shuu Maiko, her fiancé, had just walked into the room.

" _So Ruri, I found those photos your family was asking about..._ " When he looked towards her he immediately noticed how she seemed troubled. " _Huh? Is something wrong honey? You look kind of down_." He asked as he placed a hand on her shoulder.

She shook her head. " _Don't worry yourself about it. It's nothing_." She said as she put her hand on top of his.

" _Well I'm a little worried. It's not cramps or anything, is it?_ "

Ruri's glasses glared as her free hand formed a fist and socked him in the face, which caused him to fall flat on his back. The photos in his hand scattered about on the floor as he landed.

" _I swear, why is it that your mind always goes there? You really haven't changed since high school, not one bit_." Ruri said in frustration at his comment.

" _Fufu... I guess I could say the same thing about you..._ " Shuu remarked with a dopey smile on his face behind his broken glasses.

Ruri rolled her eyes and started to walk out of the room. Before she did, she looked at her feet to find an old school photo. She picked it up and remembered the day it was taken.

It was during their third year of high school, shortly before Raku and Chitoge got together and before all the drama between Marika and her family. It was truly one of the last time the group was all together.

She felt a bit saddened thinking about how much has changed since then.

" _But honestly... I could tell you were holding back on that last punch_." Shuu followed, now sitting up right with a certain gleam in his eyes. " _So maybe I was sort of wrong_."

Ruri looked at him and smiled. " _Maybe_." She added before walking off.

When she was out of the room and out of earshot, she quietly whispered to herself.

" _Maybe you haven't changed since high school, but I'm kind of glad you're still the same_."

* * *

 **Author's Notes:** This chapter was super late. Writer's block and life made working on this an uphill climb. Sorry for the late update.

I'm starting to notice that when writing emotional scenes for Onodera it's mentally exhausting for myself. The last few chapters have been more and more difficult, especially when I'm trying to get one chapter out a month. I guess it's good to know I'm putting my heart into my writing, but boy is it tiring.

Ruri makes her return. Emotions may have been running high between her and Onodera, but she was always the closest person at Onodera's side. She HAD to be the one to set her straight, even if it was through blunt honesty.

Also shuu makes a small appearance here. This was suggested by thatguywhowrote when I was writing it. It may be short, but I like it.

The part when Ruri was talking to Onodera about how 'her happiness is just as important as everyone else's' was a bit of a reference to Rurouni Kenshin, one of my all time favorite manga. Admittedly the subject may have been more fitting for Alex, since it was dealing with ones will to keep living, but I felt Onodera needed it for her happiness at this moment.

Onodera also comes to terms with her feelings towards Alex. On one hand it feels a little weird for her to just now feeling this way so late in the story. But the reason why was explained back in chapter 4, when Onodera told Alex that she promised herself she wouldn't hesitate to tell people how she felt. Because of this I had to cut it closer to the ending for her to make her move.

Speaking of which, the ending is actually right around the corner. Because of this, it's going to take me some time to make sure I get it right. So don't expect to hear any news at least until May, and even that's being optimistic.


	16. I won't let go, no matter what

Sweet Love

by Tr-8r810

 **Disclaimer** : I don't own anything related to Nisekoi. This story is strictly for entertainment purposes and not for profit.

 **Nisekoi spoilers!** This story has spoilers of the ending of Nisekoi.

 **The theme of** **Depression is heavy in the following chapter including** **suicidal themes and explicit** **self-harm.** I by no means want to make light of this touchy subject. Even more, I wouldn't want to trigger anyone into a depression episode. Those who suffer from or are sensitive to such themes should read with caution.

Special thanks to **thatguywhowrote** for taking the time to be a beta reader for this story.

* * *

The storm clouds have been looming over town all morning, getting worse and worse as time went on until it finally started to rain. To anyone else this would be a time to move indoors, but not for Alex.

He pushed open the mall's exit doors out onto the all-too familiar parking structure and looked up at the cloud-filled sky as he walked out, the rain making the blood run off his forehead.

He then looked down in anguish as he pulled his backpack off his shoulder by the arm strap.

" _Idiot!_ " He shouted as he threw it at the old car that was left there. It dented the car door from the impact, not that Alex really cared. He was still furious after hearing the truth about Onodera's past.

' _I'm such an idiot! I've been spending all this time focusing on myself and my stupid crush on Onodera that I never considered what she was going through! People don't go overseas when they get dumped by a high school crush. I should have known something worse was bothering her_.' Alex thought in frustration, completely ignoring the rain around him.

He leaned his back against the old car while trying to wrap his head around everything he had heard.

' _I mean... I guess I couldn't have known that THAT'S what was bothering her. But all this time we've been together she's been trying to help me feel better with my depression, even when she's hurting from her own broken heart. How... how do I accept something like that? I... I can't..._ ' Alex's legs gave away as he slid down to the ground.

" _I've been so selfish... Onodera's trying her hardest to not only get back onto her feet, but also help me deal with this depression and keep her career afloat. If anything, I should be the one trying to help her, not the other way around_."

This thought was cut short by another unpleasant thought in Alex's head.

' ** _You think you can actually help her? Please, don't make me laugh. You couldn't help her if you tried, let alone help yourself!_** '

' _You shut up. I don't need this right now_.'

' ** _And since when have you ever been able to silence me? You've never been helpful to anyone. Not to your parents, not to Jess and the others, and certainly not to Sophia. You remember how much 'help' you were when her parents got divorced?_** ' His depression said sarcastically. ' ** _She needed you, and you FAILED her, you've FAILED all of them. What makes you think Onodera will be any different?_** '

" _Just leave me alone!_ " Alex yelled aloud. He reached up and pulled at his hair as anxiety and stress started getting the better of him.

His depression had been waiting for an opportunity to unload on him. Over the past few weeks it had harassed him with negative thoughts, but now that he was distraught by Onodera's past it was the perfect time to strike.

' ** _You can shout at me and fight as long as you want, but you know I speak the truth. Deny it, lie to yourself, I don't care. But you are useless and you know it. Your mere existence is a waste of space. An inconvenience to everyone around you. If you weren't here, it would've been better for everyone, and you know it_**.'

" _I hate you... I hate you!_ " He shouted. " _Why do you always do this to me?! Why do you always have to kick me when I'm already down!?_ "

' **Because you're scum! You'll never be of any use to anyone! You bring shame to your mother, and are an embarrassment to your father. If they knew what you've done to yourself, what you've been hiding from them... they'll be furious. They'll think you're crazy. Your "friends" would have nothing but dirty looks for you. No one would believe you. You'd just look like someone who wants attention**.' His depression remarked venomously.

" _I swear... if you don't... shut up-!_ " Alex angrily growled. As his depression episode got worse, he started to hyperventilate.

' ** _You'll do what? I'm in your head you moron, you can't do anything to me. The only thing you could do is kill me, but you'll have to come along with me of course. Which isn't a bad idea... but-_** '

" _That's not... quite what I had in mind. But it will hurt_." Alex said while reaching for his backpack.

The amount and mixture of stress, anxiety and depression was hard on Alex's psyche. It had gotten to the point that it emotionally and mentally felt as if he was drowning in his thoughts. Though this wasn't the first time he's been through this, his depression was suffocating his mind. He could hardly even think straight, he needed some measure of control back, just to keep his mind from tearing himself apart... Even if that self-control cost him some skin off his own arm.

In a moment of weakness, he opened his backpack looking for the old pair of scissors he had kept in there for... insurance.

He knew it wasn't safe or smart to practice self-harm as it had a number of risk factors involved, but it was the only way he knew how to cope with his depression episodes. And more importantly, he knew that he was fighting off something far worse by doing it. If left unchecked, his depression could easily overtake his mind, filling it with even more poisonous thoughts... or even start to make him suicidal.

He wanted to avoid that at all cost if he could help it.

As Alex was going through his bag he noticed something. He pulled out a small jewelry box, the same one that had the key shaped necklace he had got for Onodera.

His eyes started tearing up as he looked at his would-be gift, now understanding the true importance of her old necklace.

' _I... I was stupid... I tried getting her something that I didn't even fully understand the meaning behind... This never would've made her happy. I... never could've made her happy_.' Alex thought in low spirits, anger filled his heart as it strengthened his hand.

' _I was so stupid... stupid... Stupid!_ ' His hand built up tension as the box started to crush under the pressure.

" _IDIOT!_ " Alex shouted as he reeled his arm back and threw it clear off the parking structure into a nearby tree, bearing not a single hint of regret over his actions.

' _It was a mistake. I never should've talked to Kos- to Onodera that day... We never should've met, then I wouldn't have worried her with my depression. She had enough problems as it is already_.'

It was then that Alex came to a conclusion. ' _I should've followed my gut from the beginning, this was something I had to bear alone... I can't expect help from anyone, I'll just end up hurting and burdening them as well. I... I guess I won't be seeing Onodera again, I can't..._ ' He went back to rummaging through his backpack.

' _I'll just stay away from the mall for a few weeks, maybe do some of my work at home so she won't find me... I'm sure she'll eventually forget about me and move on with her life... Just like everyone else_.' He pulled out the pair of scissors he was looking for, an ominous gleam in its blades. ' _I'm pretty sure she won't want to have anything to do with me if she saw me now anyway_.' Alex only felt anguish in his heart.

He pulled the protective case off and threw it away. The blade itself wasn't that sharp, they were quite dull actually. But the secret reason why they were was from cutting Alex's skin time and time again. Had he not washed it every time he cut himself, the blades would've been stained blood-red.

His stress wasn't letting up, this had to be done. There wasn't any going back now.

He opened the scissors and took a firm grip on the blade with his left hand, holding the other end like a knife. He rested his right arm on his knee as he readied himself mentally. He placed the blade on his arm thinking where it would be best to cut. When he was ready he took a deep breath, knowing everything he had been working towards would be thrown away if he did this, that he'd be right back to where he began.

' ** _But then again, it's not like anyone would care..._** '

He had one last reminder of why he was doing this in the first place. He pulled his left arm over his right shoulder, ready to make the strike. He closed his eyes concentrating solely on what he was feeling in his heart. A cold numbness was the only word to describe it as.

He tensed his hand as he pulled his arm to relieve himself of this cruel curse, but before the sharp pain of tearing flesh could occur a strong jerk suddenly restrained Alex's arm back, preventing him from finishing his cut.

" _What the-_ " Alex, unsure of what had just happened, looked over his right shoulder to see what was wrong.

He found Onodera standing beside him, holding his hand back with both arms and all her might.

" _O-Onodera!? When did you-_ " It was then that Alex looked at her in horror as he realized that her hand was bleeding out.

" _A-Alex... please let go..._ " She demanded with a look of distress and pain in her eyes, albeit her voice was soft that it was almost akin to pleading.

She didn't actually stop him by catching his arm, rather she caught the scissors by the blades as she pulled it with her bare hands. However the blade went right into the palm of her left hand as she held it back, cutting the skin slightly open.

Alex's heart sank as realization came. The last person he ever wanted to hurt was now bleeding and in pain because of him. He lost the strength in his arm as he let go of the scissors.

Onodera on the other hand, took no time at all to pull it away from Alex as quickly as possible. However in her haste to get it away from him, she accidentally cut his fingers as it came out of his hand before she could throw it across the parking structure. Her attention quickly returned to Alex who was still sitting against the old car, rushing in front of him and getting down on her knees to talk with him.

" _Alex, are you alright?! Wait, that was a bit of a stupid question, of course you're not alright. I... uh... what do I do?_ " She said while shaking, clearly unprepared for this situation at hand.

" _O-Onodera... what are you doing here...?_ " Alex was still in shock at seeing her here. He needed more time to digest what just happened.

" _T-Taylor, she..._ " She spoke up, searching for the words that had been blown away by the current events. " _I was trying to call you earlier but she answered and..._ " She paused. " _She told me everything that happened. She told me you left without your coat, so I knew something had to be wrong. I came as soon as I could, we've been looking everywhere for you_."

Alex groaned, remembering that he had left his cellphone in his coat which he had left behind in Taylor's hands.

" _Alex I'm... I'm sorry I didn't tell you the whole story about my past sooner. If I'd known you'd react this way..._ "

" _Onodera, don't blame yourself for-_ " Alex cringed at the feeling of pain coming from his hand.

Onodera saw that Alex was bleeding from a cut on his left hand. " _Oh my, Alex you're hurt!_ " She reached for his hand.

" _No... It's alright. It's nothing_."

She shook her head. " _Nonsense, here let me see_." She took a closer look. " _It doesn't look too bad, but we should probably clean it up inside. Here, let me help you up_."

She stood up and tried pulling him up by the arm as well, but he didn't budge. " _Huh?_ "

" _Onodera... stop. Just... leave me alone_." Alex said in a lifeless tone.

" _I can't do that. It's not good for you to be out in the rain like-_ "

Alex suddenly pulled his arm out of her hand. " _I said enough, Onodera!_ " She flinched backwards, a bit shocked and scared at his loud response. Alex gritted his teeth while in thought for a moment. " _What were you thinking?_ "

" _P-pardon?_ "

" _What were you thinking, jumping in like that?! You had no idea where I could've put the blade! What if you fell on it wrong? What if you stabbed your eye out or something? Look at your hand, you could've seriously hurt yourself!_ "

Onodera was dumbfounded at what Alex was saying, especially with the contradiction of his own statement. She looked at her hand for a moment to see the cut in her hand. Although she was still bleeding, it was actually a rather mild injury. However her emotions got the better of her as she started feeling frustrated at Alex.

" _Excuse me, but how can you say that when you were the one who was about to cut into his own arm?_ " She started to raise her own voice.

" _That's not the same_."

" _How?! How is that different then?!_ "

" _It's different because there are people who would actually care if you were hurt!_ "

She stared at him in shock. He had talked about and even hinted at his depressive thinking in the past, but this was something else. Something was clearly wrong.

" _You shouldn't be here..._ " he remarked.

" _What do you mean, we're friends aren't we? I couldn't ignore a-_ "

" _That's what I mean, we shouldn't even be that._ "

Onodera's heart sank at hearing this, she turned her face away. " _Alex... I know you're upset that I didn't tell you earlier, but... are you really that mad at me?_ "

Alex looked at her, puzzled at what she meant. " _What? I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at myself_."

" _At yourself?_ "

" _I mean... this whole time you've been heartbroken from the love of your life turning you down to the point that you're still emotionally troubled by it. Your WHOLE life you've been waiting for this guy, all the garbage you had to go through growing up, and for what? Nothing! How do I hold a candle to that? How do you stand next to me and not want to vomit at how pathetic I am compared to you?_ "

Onodera felt confused. " _P-pathetic? You?_ "

" _Yes, me. You're the one who takes her problems head-on, the one who left her home country to further her skills and move on from the past. You've done so much despite your challenges and you've become a stronger person because of it. Then look at me... I've become so weak, so fragile over nothing. It's my own mind... I just think about something and it gets me down... that's it. I haven't gone through any REAL hardship, not like Sophia, not like my mother and certainly not like you. The truth is I'm nothing compared to you, compared to anyone_."

" _A-Alex! You don't really think that, do you?!_ "

" _No, I don't think that... I KNOW that it's the truth. The same way I know that_ -" He suddenly paused. " _That I've been nothing but an unnecessary burden to you_."

Onodera was sadden at his statement. His voice sounded nothing like the person she had come to know and care for. There was so much pain behind it, sounding almost as if he was dead inside.

" _A-Alex..._ "

He shook his head. " _You should just leave... leave and never come back. That way I won't hurt you anymore_."

" _Alex... is this what your depression has been filling your head with?_ "

It suddenly became clear to her what was going on. This wasn't the Alex she had come to know that she was talking to, this was his depression talking through him. His true feelings he would never say aloud were what she was hearing. ' _This... this must be what the true face of depression looks like, the dark thoughts that pushed him to do the terrible things he's done to himself. When Taylor told him about my past... did that perhaps trigger something?_ ' She wondered.

' _Regardless, that isn't really important at the moment. The question is what do I do now? I know I came here to tell Alex my feelings for him, but he's in no position to handle hearing anything like that. I... I have to help him right now, he needs me now more than ever._ '

She was convinced in her heart what she had to do. ' _I'm not completely sure how I'll do that, yet I can't... no, I WON'T leave him to face this alone! If I do... he may not give me another chance to see him again_.' She thought fearing, what Alex's depression was capable of doing to himself.

She took a deep breath then sat in front of Alex clearly at eye level. He turned his face away from her, not daring to look at her face to face.

" _Alex, you and I are very different people. We have different lives, different backgrounds, different upbringings... and different struggles. But you listen to me, not for a second did I ever think that you were pathetic or feel the need to downgrade you over your own past experiences. Our fights are just as different as we are, and I would never think any less of you because of that_." Her voice was sincere, yet firm, making clear her stand on the topic. " _Your struggles are just as real and important as anyone else's problems, even mine_."

" _E-even if that's true, it was still selfish of me to use you the way I did. All that time you spent trying to make me feel better you could've spent taking care of yourself_." Alex deflected her previous statement, his depression clearly trying to keep the blame on himself.

" _Really...? Then, I guess I was being pretty selfish too_."

Alex's head shot up at hearing what she had just said. " _What?_ "

" _If you think spending time with a close friend to cheer yourself up from the pain in your heart is selfish, then I'm just as guilty at that as you are. All those times we were hanging out together the last couple of weeks, I was trying to help distract you from your depression, but it also kept me from thinking about my own problems when we were together._ "

" _Onodera, that's not..._ " Alex fell silent.

" _When you're selfless all the time, anything you do for yourself can feel selfish. But there's nothing wrong with wanting to take care of yourself as well as those around you. I'm... I'm still working on that myself, admittedly._ "

The rain quickly poured around them, at this point they were both completely soaked as they continued.

" _I want to help you Alex. We can go back to the bakery and clear this up. At least we'll be out of this rain for the moment._ "

Alex quickly shook his head. " _I... I wish it was as easy as you make it sound. But Taylor will be there and... after what I did to you, I'd... She'd never forgive me for hurting you._ " He said while gesturing to her injured hand. " _Plus I can't let her see this_." He then raised his scarred arm.

" _And why is that?_ " Onodera found herself bluntly asking.

" _Huh?_ "

" _Why do you need to hide it? What if..._ " She hesitated, knowing she was walking on thin ice. " _What if letting this out actually helps you to really recover from this, like getting psychiatric attention?_ "

" _No. I... I c-couldn't do that_." Alex's voice started getting anxious again.

" _But why?_ " She scooted closer to him and gently held his right hand with both of hers. " _Alex, I just want to know why this needs to be a secret, it clearly isn't making you feel any better_."

" _O-onodera... no, I-_ " Alex was visibly troubled by her question. Or rather troubled by the answer to it. She could feel his hand tense up as she held it.

" _Please..._ " She asked, only wishing to help make sense of his condition. A long silence followed, with nothing but the sound of rain until Alex finally answered the bitter pill.

" _It's because I'm afraid._ "

" _You mean of what people would think about your depression?_ "

" _No it's not just about what people think, it's more than that. More than anything, I'm afraid of how it could affect them. I told you before, right? About how I started noticing my depression after my mother's stroke? As she was on the mend, her doctor told her to keep her blood pressure down, and recommended that she avoid stressful environments if she could help it. When I first noticed my depression I thought about talking to her for help. But the more I thought about it, the more I dreaded the idea of stressing her out over it_."

"Alex..." She felt his arm getting tense again in her hands.

" _I worried about what would happen if I told her about my depression. What if she worried about it so much that she had another stroke? What if... she didn't make it that time? Whose fault would it be then, if that were to have happened?_ " Alex closed his hand into a fist as it started trembling. " _I will not be the cause of my own mother's death, I'd rather die first._ "

Onodera's hands quickly raised to Alex's shoulders, grabbing to hold him in place. Her expression becoming ever more concerned as she looked at him. " _Alex, please don't say things like that_."

" _Sorry, poor choice of words_." He took her hands and moved it off his shoulder.

" _What I meant was I couldn't let that happen. So... that's when I made a decision, I was going to stay quiet and keep my depression to myself. My family had been through enough already after everything that happened to mom, if I could lighten their burden in any way, even if I have to hold it in myself alone, I would do it_."

" _That's very noble of you, but what's the endgame here? You can't hold this in forever, I've already witnessed what it's done to your psyche and your body_."

" _This was never the most well thought out solution, I knew that when I decided back then. It was just something I came up with to help me get by, nothing more._ "

" _What about your father then? Couldn't you have told him if you wanted to avoid telling your mother?_ "

Alex made a sour expression. " _I'd doubt he'd understand. He's tough as nails, that kind of person, doesn't let anything bother him. The idea of mental disorders is probably pretty foreign to him. He'd probably think I'm making it up for attention or something._ "

" _I think the fact that you've been hiding it for over a year would show that's not the case_."

" _Come on Onodera, you know people aren't truly that easily convinced. Most people only believe something once they see it. You only believed me because you're compassionate and you listened to my explanation before you did anything. How many people do you REALLY think will do that? I bet you've seen your fair share of criticism over your panic attacks, haven't you?_ " Alex spoke in a cynical tone.

Onodera looked over her shoulder. " _M-maybe a few people did.._." She reluctantly admitted.

" _Of course they did. They know nothing about how hard it is to have your own mind tear you apart from the inside out!_ " Alex started raising his voice again. " _I don't need that, I don't need people telling me I have nothing to be upset about and that I just need to 'man up' or something, when they don't even have a single freaking clue of what they're talking about or what I'm going through._ "

" _Maybe some people would, but the thing is... I do know how hard that can be._ "

Alex looked at her a bit surprised.

" _Listen, I know this has been a hard and confusing time for you_." She smiled nervously before continuing. " _That's why I want to help you. No matter what anyone says, I'm on your side Alex_." Her consideration and compassion were front and center as she spoke was like a warm fire amidst the cold downpour.

However, a dark thought quickly went pervaded Alex's mind. His eyes grew dark, slowly looking down as he backed away from her.

" _But for how long? How long will it be until you leave as well?_ " He turned and looked her directly in the eyes as he spoke. " _Don't lie to me Onodera. You'll leave eventually too. Everyone does at some point. You're still finding your place in the world, you could go anywhere if you worked at it. You're not going to stay in this little town forever, and you can't have my useless butt slowing you down. Be serious_."

" _A-Alex, I am serious. I'm not going to leave you when I know that you're in emotional distress_."

" _Sure, because people just LOVE to be around me!_ " He hissed sarcastically. " _Sophia was the only person who cared about me because she wanted to, she didn't care just because we were related by blood like my parents, or out of pity like Jess and the others do at the store. And yet she's long gone! She didn't even care enough to say goodbye before she left! If she didn't care about me, why should I believe ANYONE in this stupid world would?!_ "

Onodera stared at him in silence. Alex finally said what had been kept sealed within his heart for too long, what his depression had poisoned him into believing, that he meant nothing to the world around him or to the people in it. He crossed his arms around himself doing what little he could to comfort himself from the shivering cold.

" _I've wasted enough of your time already. Just leave Onodera_."

The girl hesitated to speak up, not knowing what was good to say. Although she had the heart to help, she lacked the right words to confront his growing depression. Plus she herself was still trying to manage her own dejected feelings as of late. She tried to think of what to do, what to say...

" _So what then, you just think all your family and friends aren't being honest with you? That the very people who brought you into this world never truly cared about you? Don't you believe in the people you love?_ " Onodera's tone was more somber then before.

" _It's not that I think they're lying out of spite or anything, it's more that I wonder sometimes if they only think they care about me as much as they say. Like, if I disappeared, would it be as big of a deal as they'd think it would be once it's said and done?_ "

This struck a nerve with Onodera, which made her blunter in her speech. " _Y-you know that's not true Alex! You're assuming things like that from people without any actual reason, out of prejudice. That's not fair! Especially when you're hiding the truth away from them. How can you expect for them to show you the care and attention you deserve if they can't even tell what you need in the first place?!_ "

Alex was quite surprised by the force of Onodera's voice. She sounded nothing at all like the timid girl he first met weeks ago. But he simply frowned and turned his face away.

" _I... That's just how I am. I've been second-guessing everything nowadays, even myself_."

" _Even when you know it's your depression filling your head with lies?" She asked firmly. "Or... can't you even tell anymore?_ "

"..." Alex had nothing to add.

' _Words alone aren't going to convince you of anything as you are right now, is it? Then... I'll try something else_.' She thought as she took a deep breath before continuing.

" _Then what about me?_ "

" _Huh?_ " Alex was a little caught off-guard by her question.

" _What do you think about me? I know about your depression and have been spending time with you over the last couple of weeks, I'm not ignorant of what you've been going through. Do you believe I've been faking my feelings for you, that all that time I didn't really care about you?_ " She said with a hand over her heart.

" _No I-I don't... I mean-_ " Alex was a bit hesitant to answer her.

" _Alex, if you're truly worrying over whether you matter to people or not, then why not you get your answer checked? All you have to do is ask me._ "

" _And... how will I know that you're being honest with me? That you're not just going to tickle my ears?_ "

" _If you want me to tell you the truth, then be honest with me. What do you think our friendship means to me? Tell me your honest thoughts, and I'll do the same in return. No secrets, no hiding - just the naked truth. I'm tired of seeing people holding their feelings in only for it to hurt themselves._ "

Alex felt the weight behind her words, especially since it was only two days ago that she herself had an emotional outburst from bottling her feelings in.

" _So please Alex, tell me._ "

" _W-Well... deep down I think you truly are concerned and worried about my well-being. You're always so kind and caring towards everyone around you, so it's not surprising that you'd want to keep an eye on me to make sure I don't sink back into my depression again... But that's about it._ "

Onodera flinched at his blunt answer.

" _That's the only reason we've stayed together this long, isn't it? If you never saw this,_ " he raised his scar-covered arm. " _We probably would've just gone our separate ways after that day. And I know you'll say there's more to it than just that, but I can't see it. I hate the idea of you spreading yourself thin for me on top of everything else you already do. Honestly I'd rather see you leave me to suffer this alone, at least then I wouldn't need to worry about my depression bringing you down with me._ "

Onodera frowned at hearing him express his feelings.

" _T-That's just how it feels to me..._ " His eyes looked towards the ground in between his legs.

" _Do you... always put the weight of everyone's happiness on your shoulders like this, Alex?_ "

"..." He didn't reply, which was more or less equivalent to a reluctant "yes".

Onodera felt an aching in her heart seeing Alex in the state he was in and it moved her to take action. She felt nervous of what she was about to do, but with a deep breath, she resolved in her heart that she wouldn't hide her feelings any longer.

Her past mistakes put her where she was now, and she had learned much from them.

This was it, her moment.

She stood up and stepped a little closer to Alex before sitting down on his lap, just inches away from his face, which caught Alex in complete shock.

" _O-O-O-Onodera, what are you doing!?_ " His face quickly turned bright red from her sudden approach.

" _Alex, you..._ " She then started leaning in closer to him as she wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her head against his chest. " _You've got me all wrong, so very wrong_."

" _O-Onodera?_ "

" _It's not out of pity that I've spent all this time with you. If that was the case... I would've called the hospital as soon as I first saw your scars."_ Her arms tightened around his waist as she spoke. _"You trusted me with something you desperately wanted to keep secret. I didn't want to betray that trust and have you fall back into that pit of depression again, to have all the work you've done to get this far be thrown away._ " Onodera's voice started to crack while speaking.

She pulled her head back, revealing tears running down her face.

" _Every time I saw you smile or heard you laugh, it was like I could see a different side of you. The person you are on the inside. The way you cared about the people around you, and trying to fix everyone's problems behind closed doors... They would never know how selfless and kind you really are. That's the person I see when I look at you. Not just someone with issues that I felt the need to clear up. Your depression was never my main focus Alex, it was you. I did this because I care about you so much_."

Alex was rendered speechless after hearing her words, his ears burning and so did his face.

" _Ever since Ichijou-kun's rejection... it feels like my heart was hardening towards those around me. Taylor, Tim, everyone back home... they all felt distant to me for some reason. And I especially noticed it around men as of late. But since I met you, it's like... I can be completely open with you. Between everything - my baking, the oven, that day we went out for lunch, and when I had my episode..._ "

She pulled an arm back and started stroking his cheek. " _You were there. You were always there. After everything you've been through you kept fighting, but now you're fighting for me as well? I-it's truly a beautiful act of compassion and... l-l-love on your part._ " Onodera blushed as she finished.

" _No... Wait, that was_ -"

" _It wasn't nothing_." She interrupted. " _I will never forget what you've done for me. You've been such a good friend to me during these hard times, you've helped me slowly start opening up to people again, I've also been reminded that there's someone out there in this world that's looking out for me, someone that I know will be there if I needed help_." She then turned her eyes away.

" _You've even... managed to touch the heart of this once lovesick fool._ "

The rain almost sounded as if it had suddenly stopped to Alex, as his senses went completely numb to his surroundings. He felt that he didn't quite hear Onodera correctly, as she spoke unlike her usual self.

" _I-I'm..._ " Onodera blushed as she struggled to find the right words to express herself. " _I'm not sure how to explain it myself. But over the last few weeks, I've found myself thinking about you quite often. I feel like there's a yearning within me to be with you, because when we're together, I can't help but smile_."

She pulled her arm away from his cheek.

" _In truth the reason I do is because... I like you, Alex_."

Alex couldn't believe what he had heard. He leaned back against the car behind him to catch his breath, which was the only thing stopping him from hitting the ground.

' _W-what...? No, that can't... Did I hear that right? Did Onodera just say that she..._ '

His depression quickly became vocal again. ' ** _No! Don't listen to her, she's lying to you. She's just like everyone else, like Sophia. No one would ever care about a pathetic loser like-_** '

" _I'm sorry, what did you say?_ " Alex suddenly asked.

' ** _Hey! I wasn't finished yet, you-!_** '

At that moment, Alex for the first time in his life completely ignored what his depression had to say. He truly didn't care about what it thought with the current situation. There was someone else's opinion that mattered more to him at this moment.

" _I like you Alex, I have for some time now. I know it's a bit selfish of me to bring this up now of all times, but the idea of you thinking that nobody cares about you is so wrong. I'm so tired of this, keeping these worries, these fears to ourselves. It's brought us nothing but pain. I've been there and so have you, and I'm sick of it_." She shook her head in frustration. " _No. No more. I'm done keeping secrets from those who are important to me_."

' _O-Onodera... you're serious? W-what am I supposed to say to that? I don't-_ ' Alex hadn't the time to think over Onodera's confession, much less give a response to it.

She then sat back upright and pulled her arms back.

" _Ah! B-but I don't want to pressure you into thinking you need to give me an answer right now. Those are my honest feelings and-_ " Just then she noticed that Alex suddenly had tears streaming down his cheeks. " _W-wait, why are you... crying?_ "

He seemed surprised by Onodera's question. " _What, I'm not-_ " As he reached for his face he noticed that he was indeed crying involuntarily.

For some reason it was uncomfortable to see Alex's reaction to her confession in such a way. ' _Now that I think about it, I don't remember ever seeing Alex cry before. But... why is Alex acting this way, and why does seeing him like this... make me anxious? Is it because... Ichijou-kun reacted the same way when I confessed to him?_ ' She remembered that Raku had broken down into tears before when she revealed her love for him on that fateful day.

And then it hit her. ' _W-wait! Ichijou-kun only reacted that way because he once had feelings for me too. S-s-so with that logic, why would Alex act the same way... unless-!_ '

" _Heh... yeah, I guess I am crying_." He had a nervous smile on his face as it turned red from embarrassment. " _It's funny, normally I'd do whatever I could to not let anyone see me like this, to see that there's something wrong with me. And yet... right now I couldn't care any less at all_." He remarked as he started crying harder.

" _Alex..._ " She pressed her body against his as she hugged him tightly again. " _If you need to cry, then go ahead and let it out. I'm right here, and I'm not going anywhere_."

Her warm embrace touched him even more than he would've imagined. The woman he worried so much about, the one he began to fall for was sitting right in front of him doing her best to comfort him.

 _'You... you actually like me? I... I honestly don't know what she could possibly see in me. But, Ono... Kosaki isn't the kind of person who would lie about something like this, she's been through too much to take something like this lightly. Even if I don't understand why... I can at least tell these are her true feelings_.'

He nervously raised his arms and returned her caring hug with one of his own.

This caught Onodera by surprise, but she simply smiled and held him tighter.

"I _'m just so tired of pretending that everything is alright. I'm not that good of a pretender, y-you'd think someone would've noticed that something was off about me by now. I-It's like I'm drowning in plain sight and n-no one even notices that I'm sinking. I-I'm sick of feeling that I'm not important!_ "

Onodera could feel the conflict of emotions in what he was saying. " _Yet, you still didn't want to speak up in fear of hurting or worrying someone, like your mother. You wanted to speak up, but was too afraid to_..."

Her words struck a nerve that caused him to break down more. " _E-even if I did tell someone, how would I know they won't leave? I've already been hurt once by Sophia, I don't think I could handle that again_."

She leaned back and looked him in the eye. " _Alex, I'm not Sophia_." Onodera said boldly. " _I understand what's happened to you and I cannot… I WILL not simply walk by and ignore someone I care for in anguish. I'm not going anywhere Alex, I won't leave your side. That's a promise_."

The rain storm around them started to calm down a little, though it wasn't stopping anytime soon. To Onodera and Alex it seemed to have gotten completely silent.

" _Well... that is, I won't leave if you don't want me to_." She added, shrinking back a little from her previously bold statement.

Alex chuckled at her. " _You're too nice for your own good sometimes. But that's what I like about you. And to be honest, If I had known you felt the same way towards me earlier... I probably would've held onto that necklace_." He thought out loud.

Onodera's eyes shot wide open at his comment with a shocked look on her face. " _Wait, what? Do you mean that you_..."

Alex smiled and nodded. " _I... I didn't quite know how to tell you earlier, or maybe I was just scared. But seeing you be so forward about your feelings, I thought: why can't I do the same? You're such a kind, sweet and loving person, Onodera. I guess that's one of the reasons why_..." he paused.

" _Why I... Why I like you too!_ "

Onodera placed a hand over her mouth, her eyes started tearing up at hearing the words she had been waiting most of her life to hear.

" _A-Alex..._ " She choked up, trying to say his name.

" _After everything that's happened between us, I've come to cherish every moment I get to spend with you. Even with my depression, I feel like I can truly be myself whenever I'm with you. There isn't really anyone else that I can say that about_."

He then noticed that the rain was getting her hair in her face, so he brushed it aside. " _You're very special to me. I only wish I was the kind of person that could truly make you happy. I'm sorry for yelling at you earlier Onodera, and for your hand. I never wanted to hurt yo-_."

She shook her head. " _That's enough regret for one day. Right now all I want is to sit here with you. I don't care if it's raining_." She added as tears masked by the rain ran down her cheeks with a smile across her face.

At this both Onodera and Alex didn't need to say anything else. They were both emotionally exhausted from everything that had happened the last couple of days. The two embraced each other again, with tears falling like the rain around them. After all the pain and heartache they felt, neither one could hold it in any longer. Perhaps there was love in the future for these two brokenhearted souls, but those details could wait for another day for them. At this moment, they just needed each other to lean on.

Not far from the parking structure there was a glittering light reflecting from a nearby tree. It was in fact the key shaped necklace hanging off one of it's branches. It was well out of reach for anyone to grab safely. But in the end, Onodera didn't need it. She found a relationship that wasn't dependent on her memories of the past, but one that she could see herself having a future with.

* * *

Author's Notes will be added in epilogue.

Coming soon.


	17. Epilogue

Sweet Love

by Tr-8r810

 **Disclaimer** : I don't own anything related to Nisekoi. This story is strictly for entertainment purposes and not for profit.

 **Nisekoi spoilers!** This story has spoilers of the ending of Nisekoi.

 **Depression** is a sensitive subject to some people. I by no means want to make light of this touchy subject. Even more, I wouldn't want to trigger anyone into a depression episode. Please read with care.

Special thanks to **thatguywhowrote** for taking the time to be a beta reader for this story.

* * *

A cool breeze was blowing through Nathan Park this afternoon.

The rainstorms that had been coming and going as of recently had finally passed, leaving only a few clouds in the sky on this chilly autumn day. Sitting on one of the benches was Onodera with her coat and scarf, drinking coffee as she watched the wind blow the leaves off a nearby tree.

However she didn't come here this day just to admire nature, she was going to meet up with Alex. It had been two weeks since the day they both confessed their feelings for each other, and a lot had happened since then.

After their talk Alex suddenly agreed to go back to the bakery with Onodera, much to her surprise. He ended up telling Taylor upfront about his depression when they got there, as he needed an explanation for his actions and the scars that covered his arm.

This was quite a shock for her, but she did her best to remain calm as she helped clean Onodera and Alex's wounds. Although she assisted, she was still pretty furious at Alex for what he had done to Onodera and even started making threats that she would call the police.

But Alex pleaded with her to hold off at least until he could tell his parents himself. With the situation escalating as quickly as it was, Alex knew he couldn't control it for much longer. But he also knew that it would be for the best if he were the one to explain everything to his parents instead of someone else. Taylor was against it at first, but Onodera volunteered to go with him to make sure he did as he said he would. Of course the young baker also wanted to support Alex as he did this, knowing that it would be emotionally exhausting for him to do this alone. With that in mind, Taylor decided to hold off and trust Onodera on this one.

They both made their way to Alex's home to tell his parents the truth. But when they were just outside of the front door, Alex froze. He was scared to death at what was about to happen, of what could happen. When Onodera saw this she took his hand and encouraged him that she was there right beside him. With that, Alex led the way as he took one step forward and went into what would be a long, emotional night.

"..."

Onodera was thinking about that time as she waited for Alex to arrive. That was the last time they really talked about what had happened that day. They've been so busy recently that they never had an opportunity to speak to each other yet. Occasionally they would see each other at the bakery, but it was always awkward as they both knew they wanted to talk things out alone - which was hard to do when Taylor would just stand there and listen to every word they had to say. So they planned for a day to clear the air between the two of them.

Just then Onodera heard footsteps coming towards her. She looked over and saw that it was Alex, still wearing his old coat like always. He may have opened up to a number of people about his depression, but he wasn't that bold as to walk around town and bare his arm for the whole world to see.

Onodera placed her coffee down and quickly walked over and greeted him with a hug.

" _It's good to see you again, Alex_." She said with a smile.

" _H-hey Onodera. Sorry I was late_." He replied while holding her.

" _Don't be. You told me already that you might be late because of your appointment today. Speaking of which, how did everything go?_ "

They both started walking back over to the bench as they talked. " _Pretty good I suppose_." He answered as he sat down. " _I guess I'm still not used to this whole therapy thing_."

" _Why, did something go wrong?_ "

" _No, it's just..._ " He scratched the back of his head trying to think of how to word it properly. " _I know he's trying to help, and that this is what's best for me to do in the long run, but talking about things that are deeply rooted can be... exhausting after a while_."

Onodera frowned at hearing this. " _Well... if you're feeling tired, why don't you relax for a little bit?_ " She scooted to the other side of the bench to make room. " _If you want... y-you could rest your head on my lap for a while_."

Alex quickly flinched at hearing her say this. " _Wha-! N-no, I couldn't..._ "

She smiled at him with a calm and confident look on her face. " _I don't mind one way or another, I just want you to get some rest. You need to take care of yourself after all_."

He hesitated to respond, thinking over her words. With a loud sigh, he continued. " _I-if that's the case, maybe I could rest for a few minutes. As long as it's alright with you?_ " He asked while blushing.

Onodera smiled and nodded. " _Sure, go ahead and rest your head here_." She said, patting her lap inviting him over.

Alex turned over and leaned back, placing his head on top of Onodera's thighs. He felt a little awkward as his view made him stare straight up towards her face.

" _How's that, comfortable?_ " She asked in a warm, motherly tone.

" _Y-Yeah, thank you_."

" _It's just the two of us here, so don't be afraid to unwind a little_." She added as she ran her hand through his hair trying to make him relax.

" _Sure thing..._ " Alex said as he closed his eyes.

A few minutes went by as she brushed his hair. There wasn't a sound around them but a light breeze.

At least until Alex suddenly spoke up. " _So, uh... How have you been doing recently? You know, after everything that's happened_."

" _Oh, me? I've been doing pretty well. Some days are better than others, but I've been having more pleasant days than bad ones_."

" _And what about the bakery? How are things going there?_ "

" _Things have been going really well_." She nervously fiddled with his hair. " _I've... I've actually been getting back to my old self when baking lately_."

" _Wait, seriously?!_ " Alex asked, surprised to hear her say that.

" _Yeah well, just a little. I still have a ways to go before I'm back to my best. But I can definitely tell I've made a difference, even Taylor noticed. It's like I can focus on what I'm doing more_." She added.

" _Onodera that's great to hear! I know it's been bothering you for a while now. I couldn't be happier for you_." He said with a bright smile.

" _T-Thank you_." She blushed.

" _Eh... by the way, is Taylor still... mad at me about the other day?_ " Alex asked nervously.

" _She was at first, but I think she's calmed herself down now. She was sure upset about me jumping into those scissors though_."

" _S-sorry about that..._ "

She shook her head. " _Don't be. It was my choice to get involved back there. Besides it's all healed up now, see?_ " She pulled out her hand to show that the scar on her palm was almost completely gone.

" _Yeah, it does look better_." He noted as he examined the faded cut. He looked back at her to see that she had a concerned look on her face.

" _Hey, what's the matter?_ "

She paused for a second. " _I was just thinking about the other day, and it reminded me of a question I had... when we were at the parking structure, what made you suddenly decide to tell Taylor about your depression? If you don't mind me asking_."

Alex stared off at the sky in thought. " _You know, I realized something that day when we were talking. I was going to reach a breaking point one way or another with my depression. It wasn't going to stand still anymore, and I wouldn't be able to hide it for much longer. If that was going to be the case, then it would be better if I could choose when and how I let people know. I have to make a choice one way or another. And... I'd honestly rather take my chances with your idea_."

She blushed a little hearing him say that.

" _I trust you, Onodera. Although a lot has changed since I told my parents, I feel it was for the better that it happened the way it did. At least it was a better idea then what I had been doing up until this point_." He then looked at his arm, still feeling nervous about everything that happened.

Onodera smiled thinking about when she met his parents. " _Your mother... she was so kind and understanding. I'm really glad I got to meet her, especially after hearing about everything she's been through_."

" _Well... She seemed pretty excited about seeing you as well. Neither her or my dad have stopped teasing me about bringing a girl home_." Alex sighed.

" _Oh, that reminds me!_ " Onodera almost jumped out of her seat remembering something. " _You're dad, you never told me he was Japanese_."

" _O-oh... Y-yeah, it kind of slipped my mind I guess_." He chuckled. " _A lot of people say I take more after my mother, so I'm used to people not knowing I'm half-Japanese. I suppose that would make me a 'hāfu', right? I think that's what mom said it was called_."

" _But I thought your last name was Richards, did I miss something?_ "

Alex cleared his throat knowing he had a bit of an explanation to give. " _Richards is my mother's maiden name. You see my father had a bit of a... falling out with most of his blood family. So when he married my mom he took her maiden name instead of the other way around to distance himself from the family_."

" _That's... interesting. I suppose you don't know what the argument was about then I take it?_ "

" _No, dad doesn't like talking about it much. All I know is what my mother told me. I'm sure he has his reasons_." He added, not having much else to say on the subject.

There was a moment of silence as the two stopped and watched the leaves being blown by the wind around them.

" _Hey Alex, what are you doing this weekend?_ " Onodera asked out of the blue. Her gaze was away from him at the moment.

" _Huh? Nothing that I can think of right now. Why do you ask?_ "

" _Well, I'm going to be off work early this Friday, and I was wondering if... if you'd want to do something together then. Like that time when we went around town looking for a present for Tim. You know, we could go through the town, just you and me, going out-_ " Onodera suddenly stopped.

Alex smiled at the idea. " _That actually sounds pretty nice. It'd be great to just hang out again and-_ "

" _...Like on a date_." Onodera added, still avoiding eye contact while her face grew red.

Alex's expression turned from comfort to shock as he quickly sat upright to give her his full undivided attention.

" _O-Onodera? Are you asking me out?_ " Alex questioned her in disbelief.

She turned and softly smiled at him. " _Yeah, I-I guess I am_."

Alex was unsure of how to react to something so sudden. " _Are you sure about this Onodera? You know I'm not the most emotionally stable person out there_."

" _I know. And I'm aware of the challenges that will be involved while in a relationship with someone with depression. But that changes nothing. I still like you Alex, my feelings have been the same since that day. I've never been the most outgoing when it comes to showing my feelings towards other people, but I feel a need to express myself when I'm with you. If you'll have me, I'd love to be y-your..._ " The girl's voice trailed off softly, muttering the last word to a whisper. " _...g-girlfriend_."

Hearing this, Alex's uncertainty disappeared. He knew what his answer was in a heartbeat.

" _Y-yes! O-of course! I'd loved to go out with you Onodera_."

She started getting teary-eyed at his response. She scooted over to him and gave him a hug. " _Thank you Alex. And could you please call me by my first name?_ "

He hugged her back getting misty eyed himself.

" _No problem... K-Kosaki_."

Neither one knew what was in store for them and the future, but perhaps the two of them could find out together.

* * *

 **Author's Notes:** Okay first off, the elephant in the room. This final chapter took quite some time to come out. I recently when on a flight to see some relatives. But not long after getting back home, there was a death in the family. Both of these events were emotional and took priority over other matters. The fact that I didn't want to screw up this final chapter also slowed me down pretty good. I feel bad that it took this long to finish the chapter, but I'm not really sorry about it. There were things that just had to be done.

* * *

Chapter 16

The ending of this story was something that has been on my mind for quite some time now. The original idea was a bit more dramatic, but I decided against it giving the subject matter. It also was more important to focus on the emotional aspects between the characters themselves.

The moment when Alex is about to cut himself was a scene that had to be handled delicately. I'm not condoning self harm when I write about it, just simply showing the struggle someone could be going through when dealing with depression. Self harm and Depression are both subjects and feelings that are hard to describe and express. Alex's moment of weakness was the climax of Alex's fight with depression, and I only hope to be respectful when it comes to interpreting the feelings of those who have depression.

One thing that I was a little worried about was what happened to the key necklace. I didn't want to get people's hopes up thinking that he was actually going to give it to her, because it was always planned to end up in a tree. It's a bit symbolic, but the thing is Alex was trying to replace her old necklace with a new one. The thought is nice, but it comes off as him trying to replace or substitute for Raku's key and what it meant to Onodera. That kind of relationship wouldn't be healthy for either of them, as Onodera would still be living in the past and Alex would be nothing more then a stand in for Raku. So in the end I had to leave it behind.

The ending between Alex and Onodera was fascinating to write. For Onodera wants to exert herself to be more forward about her feelings towards Alex, who in turn wants to feel loved by someone. The main points is their love for each other, and the depression and sorrow in their hearts. If Onodera couldn't overcome her timidness she may not have saved Alex from his depression, which in turn he wouldn't have fallen in love with her to help her move on from her past. The idea of two broken souls that came together to make each other stronger is something I felt like Onodera needed after the events of the main series.

Alex's explanation for keeping his depression a secret was revealed in this chapter. However it was originally planned to have been explained much earlier, but it never felt like the right time to get into it, so I saved it for the ending. But I hope it wasn't too short notice for the readers.

Onodera's confession was an emotionally satisfying part to write, as was her development in the story. One balance I really needed to find was for her to grow and learn from her past experiences with Raku, but not so much as to be a completely different character. She would still have her self-conscious tendencies, that wouldn't go away over night.

I kind of hate myself for doing the "Let's tease a couple for the whole story but only let them get together at the last second" cliché, which is something I never liked in long running series. I guess I'd be more upset if this was supposed to be the real ending. Uh... more on that later.

* * *

Epilogue

The setting for the epilogue was based off a picture by a user named "トータル9" (roughly translated: Total 9) on Pixiv. It's by far my favorite piece of fan art for Onodera.

Was there too much information here? The events that followed Onodera and Alex's confession were planned a long time ago, but when I tried writing it in the epilogue the pacing didn't feel right. So I just jumped to the end of it and let exposition clean up the details.

The part when Onodera uses her lap as a pillow was inspired by a PS Vita game "Nisekoi Yomeiri!?". Onodera fans may want to look into it on YouTube or something if you want to see some cute moments with Kosaki.

Some details revealed in the Epilogue are actually hinting at a sequel. I haven't talked about it much, but I'm not quite finished with Onodera and Alex's story. I have a number of ideas for a sequel, but I wanted to finish this first part before I got too ahead of myself. Plus I've seen stories online that are never finished for one reason or another, so I wanted to at least have a ending to this part in case something happens that prevents me from making the second half. I didn't want to leave Onodera without a happy ending.

* * *

Final thoughts

When I first uploaded this story, I got a review talking about how depression is something that some of the fanbase could relate to when it comes to the ending of Nisekoi. (Of sorts) I believe there's truth in these words, because frankly speaking I never would've written this story if Nisekoi gave Onodera a good ending.

I can't speak for everyone, but I think it's safe to say that Nisekoi has a polarizing ending as it basically said "Forget you" to about half of the fanbase for what it did to Onodera. (If not more so if you include the other girls) That was the reason why I wrote this story in the first place, because it was disappointing to see Onodera go through everything she did just to get rejected with no true ending for her character. As a reader it's dissatisfying to see characters and plots that I've come to care about go nowhere, and call me crazy but I have a feeling if you're reading this there's a good chance that's the reason you're here too.

For myself, I got into Nisekoi at a low point in life. It was something that helped me stay distracted, and was a fun feel good Anime to watch. But after seeing the ending, I almost wished I never saw it to begin with. It was like getting kicked while I was already down. This whole story was made because of that ending and everything I felt from it. I'm not trying to one up Komi or say 'I can write better then him' or anything. I'm just simply trying to tell a story about a character I care about, one that I wanted to see have a happy ending, even if I have to make it myself.

I feel like my problem isn't with Nisekoi itself, but is with the Harem genre as a whole. I'm not really someone who likes to view their entertainment like it's a competition, like the whole Onodera vs Chitoge thing. I really don't care about the fan wars over who is the better character among the cast, I just want them all to have happy, satisfying conclusions, given that it was a simple romantic comedy.

...yet here we are.

When it came to where I got the idea for Sweet Love, it was mostly just a simple thought of Onodera finding love after everything that happened. But the more I thought about it, the more detailed it became in my mind, to the point it could almost be a story. I don't remember when I got the idea to upload it here, that's something rather out of character for me.

One thing I thought that was an interesting concept was the idea of the person Onodera fell in love with was someone who was emotionally weaker then she was. Someone who looked up to Onodera, as she would have gained some strength and maturity after the main series.

Alex on the other hand originally didn't even have a name, as this was originally going to be an overelaborate "X Reader" fan fiction. At least until I realized that would violate the Content Guidelines. Oops... Even though it put me into some hot water, I'm now glad it happened, as it forced me to focus on developing Alex as a character instead of making him a depressed avatar for the reader. (I never did figure out if I could handle writing "X readers")

There's actually a number of symbolic moments that may have gotten overlooked throughout the story. I feel like naming a few since I'm at the end here.

*The car at the parking structure was lost and abandoned, not all that different from Alex himself.

*When both Onodera and Alex cut their hands, it's similar to how they treat themselves. Onodera gets involved with other people's problems even if she hurts herself in the process, and Alex hurts himself just trying to make it to the end of the day.

*Alex has on occasions referred to Onodera as an angel. In the final scene Onodera catches a blade when it's about to cut someone. This is a reference to the story of Abraham sacrificing Isaac, or rather, how he didn't.

*The rainstorms that periodically occur are usually followed by, or are during an emotional moment for one of the two protagonist.

* * *

Special Thanks

A big special thanks to **thatguywhowrote** for betareading the whole story and for his help and support along the way. It's thanks to him that this was even as presentable as it is, and he also helped clean up some of my rookie mistakes. A good number of suggestions he made helped make the story into what it is today.

I also want to thank all the reviewers who left reviews. Reviews are always encouraging to see when I need inspiration to continue writing, or when I need to make adjustments to make sure everyone can follow along. Special thanks to **Shawn Raven** who has been a regular since I started, along with **thatguywhowrote**.

One of the biggest inspirations for Sweet Love was actually **Hideaki Anno** and Neon Genesis Evangelion. In spite of his depression, he went on to make one of the most famous Anime series of all time. And he did so not by avoiding the subject of depression, or letting said depression prevent him from telling his story in the first place, but by making it a major part of the storytelling and the characters in it, showing depression as the ugly monstrosity that it truly is. For that, he has my respect.

And finally, I must give credit where credit is due. If not for **Naoshi Komi** then none of this would have ever happened. Like I said at the beginning, for better or worse Nisekoi will forever have a special place in my heart. Although I have my differences with Komi and his style of storytelling, he's still the creator of Nisekoi, and more importantly Onodera Kosaki. So I give my thanks and respect to him for that.

Just... next time you have a story with like 12+ main characters, could you try to give a happy ending to more then two of them?

* * *

Well that's about all I have to say here. Thank you for reading this far, and for reading this random story in the first place.

-Tr-8r810


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